This morning I turned on my phone only to find that it had changed my user name to Shirley, and when I tried to enter a simple Google query it came out as "Do you like gladiator movies?" Then I realised it was in Airplane! mode.

This is the origin story for Supergran

CRYING 😭

St Mary’s Lighthouse, Whitley Bay, Tyneside, photo by Angi Wallace.

And now I’ve listened to Rob Delaney’s Desert Island Disc session and I’m an absolute mess. Beautiful.

If ever a band sounded like where they’re from.

Quick reminder that the grown ups are in charge.

Just put an extra man in midfield you stubborn twat, everyone would be happy, you would win more games which is the fucking point, and I wouldn’t have to read about press conferences where you sound like a dramatic teenager writing Cure lyrics in the back of their soon to be incomplete diary. Fin.

We need an app that solely tells the football lads whether a big coat is in order for the game or not.

@chuckdpe.bsky.social @publicenemyno1.bsky.social @flavorflav.bsky.social on Jimmy Kimmel! Fight the Power! www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKV1...

So a group of people protesting against a genocide are deemed a terrorist organisation by a UK government actively facilitating said genocide, and the police who have just shot two completely innocent people, are telling the protesters not to turn up, as they might antagonise the situation.

Timeline cleanse. Newspaper clipping, 1906.

Ahead of the brilliant new Alan Partridge series - which is available on iPlayer right now - I interviewed writers @neilgibbons.bsky.social and Rob Gibbons for @radiotimes.bsky.social. www.radiotimes.com/tv/comedy/al...

If you’re remotely interested as to why our stats look good but don’t translate into points, and think that a ‘Libero’ is an ice lolly from the 80’s, then this quick video explains things very well. youtube.com/watch?v=Ywt8...

😳

It is comforting to know though that the decision on the manager will be made by the team who brought you Dan Ashworth’s hiring/firing, the Glazer coalition,Ten Hag’s contract extension and Manuel Ugarte. Sweet dreams.

Great news all round this, as if he’s willing to stop playing out of form players and puts 3 men in midfield I’m all in. And if he sticks to what he’s doing now, then relegation ‘dogfights’ look properly exciting. 👍

Albanian PM Edi Rama mocked Trump for repeatedly claiming he ended a war between Albania and Azerbaijan, confusing his country with Armenia Rama to French President Macron: “You should congratulate Ilham Aliyev and me. Trump has ended the conflict between Albania and Azerbaijan”

Like walking into a fairy tale. Taken this morning from Glastonbury Tor.

👌 arcticreviews.co.uk/2017/10/29/r...

Why is Keir Starmer obsessed with Nigel Farage?

Watching these other team play, their football just seems a lot more straightforward and natural.

Great ball from Rashford there.

Jasmine Crockett for Attorney General in 2028.

Precinct 1 (Shopping City, Salford), by Mandy Payne, Sheffield-based artist. Spray paint and oil paint on marble. #WomensArt #NorthernArt

Italian painter Renato Casaro has passed. His movie posters defined a lot of the 80s for me.

Lol

Good news: This will be like having a new signing. Bad news: That signing is Tyrell Malacia.

"You're making me very nervous, Richard." 'Dead Man's Shoes' is just starting on Film4, and I cannot recommend it enough.

Quality goal that from Bowen.

Even by United’s standards this would be absolutely mental.

Piccadilly Records, Manchester, painting by Yvette Earl. #WomensArt #NorthernArt

podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/u... Id hardly call Andy Mitten impatient and reactionary but it’s pretty clear from this what he thinks. Also, the interview with James Scowcroft is incredibly damning around tactics.

Left: Inside the Labour party conference Right: Outside the Labour party conference

‘The grown ups are in charge’.

listen to this man 👇

And Rooney hates that club that much that his kids are training there. 🙃

I see we’re adding United’s legendary top goalscorer of all time to the list of people who now don’t know anything about the club or football in general. This Amorim thing is turning into some sort of weird experiment in human behaviour and is definitely more entertaining than the football.

👀 ⛳️ 🏌️‍♂️ 🏆 #RyderCup

Myself and Stewart Lee examining Free Speech, censorship and ‘Hurty Words.’ #StrongMessageHere

That was some fucking comeback btw Jesus wept.

Hahaha won it you fucking bitter nonce