Found in the back corner of my new basement

Et tu, Home Depot??

I believe this is a winner in the #goth eye spy game - crow on gravestone as seen through a rain bejewelled spiderweb.

I’m planning on releasing a new version of my accounting service where I steal all the money and move to Fiji unless my clients opt out of having their money stolen. Please give me $400b in venture capital.

Crazy how people who seem to think I’m being very unfair in these remarks also seem to recognize without prompting who I am talking about

Who’s ur favorite Jedi wrong answer only

Which would explain why I’ve been married three times, I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️ www.idrlabs.com/hot-crazy-sc...

The thing where you Marie Kondo tf out of your wardrobe in preparation for moving and then realize you didn’t keep any sacrificial painting clothes 😅

List 3 things you can talk about for 3 hours with no prep 1. History and doctrine of US information warfare from WWI-present 2. Human-centered, sustainable urban planning 3. Also Star Trek

CHOTINER: So you left Khan & his followers on Ceti Alpha V. KIRK: It seemed like the most humane solution. CHOTINER: And you scanned the orbit before you left? KIRK: Well, that’s…not really standard… CHOTINER: Ever go back to check on them? KIRK: I’m being hailed, I have to go to the bridge.

CHOTINER: Domus. BRIAN: Yeah. CHOTINER: Nominative? BRIAN: Well- CHOTINER: But 'go home', this is motion towards, so you must use the...? BRIAN: Ah! Dative. No, not dative. Accusative! 'Ad domum'! CHOTINER: Except that 'domus' takes the- BRIAN: The locative!

Old Saw #ASongOrMovieForSayings

Three of the five permanent UNSC members are now autocracies actively hostile to democratic principles, human rights, and the advancement of peace and prosperity for all nations. Damn right they shouldn’t have a vote, much less veto power.

CHOTINER: So tell me about this secret chord COHEN: it goes like this: the fourth, fifth CHOTINER: but it doesn't seem very secret, you told loads of people about it COHEN: (sweating) ok but it pleased the Lord CHOTINER: does he speak to you often? COHEN: Uhh CHOTINER: It's also not a chord

CHOTINER: So you ate the plums that were in the icebox? WCW: well, um, yes but CHOTINER: but I was saving them for breakfast WCW: (sweating) um yes, well, um, they were delicious, sweet and cold CHOTINER: YOU ATE MY PLUMS WCW: please forgive me CHOTINER: I do not

#TheresNoRightOrWrongBut you’re still wrong, sweetie.

Ope! 🤭

They love their guns, until shit goes sideways, and it might affect them personally.

Pretty fucking sure there’s a word in Arabic that means submission, lol. It’s a famous one. I bet you know it.

RFK voice: we used to get dinosaur ribs at restaurants and they were so large that when they put them on the car tray it would flip the car over on its side. You can’t get those anymore because of autism.

The Swedish Minister of Defence has announced that russian fighter jets violating Swedish airspace will be shot down.

For a Student Who Used AI to Write a Paper Joseph Fasano Now I let it fall back in the grasses. I hear you. I know this life is hard now...

IT IS TIME.

“That’s a whole different kettle of fish” in other languages... 5. This is flour from another sack (Spanish) 4. That’s another pair of sleeves (French) 3. These are another pair of wellies (Polish) 2. That’s a cousin from a different auntie (Malay) 1. This is a different dish of cabbage (Hungarian)

<i> Mabon Blessings 22nd Sept 2025 <i> The autumnal equinox, Harvest Home, Mabon, the Feast of the Ingathering, is a Pagan ritual of thanksgiving for the fruits of the earth & a recognition of the need to share them to secure the blessings of the Gods during the coming winter #mabon #autumnalequinox

Angy birb

“If we don’t measure food insecurity, no one’s hungry” “If we delete research on right-wing violence, there’s no right-wing violence” “If we don’t release inflation data, there’s no inflation” “If we stop Covid testing, we’ll have fewer cases” You see what’s happening, right?

By targeting young men with this hateful message, Kirk made sure to turn them into undateable assholes. That way, they would get increasingly bitter and increasingly addicted to videos of Kirk "dunking" on the hot girls that won't date them. He wasn't just a misogynist. He destroyed young men, too.

Look at the England women’s rugby team: the heaviest player is 50kg heavier than the lightest. If you’re fine with them colliding on the field, but object to a smaller trans woman playing… your concern isn’t about safety or fairness. It’s transphobia, plain and simple. [5/9]

At the elite level? EVERY athlete has some kind of biological advantage. Basketball isn’t full of average-height people. Swimmers aren’t all rocking a Michael Phelps wingspan. Yet you don’t see campaigns about banning their “biological advantages.” [4/9]

The longer you spend in the county, the easier it is to recognise a Wood Sprite's home tree. Even without offerings, there's a palpable sense of being watched, an atmosphere of potential ambush. What some Hooklanders call: 'an air of ancient unease'. – #MattAdams

Read more here:

A pirate goes to the ship’s surgeon to have spots on his arm checked. The surgeon says, "They're benign". The pirate replies, "No, no doc. There be 11. I counted them before I came here." Happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

And three of them are dead (actual dead not possum dead)

Goodnight from the Salvation Army soup kitchen on Ashcourt’s Hop Street, where rumours of the Iron-toothed Vampire are more plentiful than the food. Goodnight from Annabel Kidd, clutching her swan-bone charm in hopes her wishes reach the realm of the dead. Goodnight from Hookland.

Help us speak up for bats www.justgiving.com/campaign/hel...

“Protesters Urged Not To Give Trump Administration Pretext For What It Already Doing” (The Onion)

Dude, Where’s My Card? #ASongOrMovieForCommunicating

Drug ads are so funny. They’re always like “is there a twitch in your left arm? Duplexant will fix it, but the side effects may include headache, joint pain, kidney failure, sudden blood loss, and being stabbed to death by a time traveling assassin from the 1740s”

Inside you are two wolves

old maids the last few fireflies flash in the grass #haiku

Antifa terrorists

No new pictures, where are you at mentally?

Just a reminder that the FCC has no jurisdiction over cable, only broadcast services. Over the air television is.. essentially dead.

Remembering to say ‘Pardon my turn of phrase’ after a five minute f-bomb laden tirade #WhatEtiquetteMeansToMe

Flush Life #ASongOrMovieForUsingWater

Man standing in massive smoking crater left by bomb he devoted his whole life to building says bombs are bad.

It’s well known that memerotted 22 year olds who have just murdered someone text as if they’re writing a Civil War letter to their betrothed from beside the campfire. Including a full confession, and details of the weapon and motive.