You, an idiot: goon bag. The Chinese, a nation of intellectuals:

You got a tote bag? I didn't get a fuckin' tote bag. God-dammit.

This frog is your FRIEND He fights for FREEDOM

This is what happens when the clown doesn't turn up at a kid's birthday party in Ireland. People have to think of something else to do, it all goes pear-shaped - and this is the result.

Excellent choice. For all sorts of reasons.

HAHAHAHAHA fuuuuuck yoooouu, you daft jabbering rapist shitstreak.

"What-ho, old bean! Fancy a brisk round of Buggering The Family Cat before teatime?"

This is what happens when you ask a Google Image search to show you "utterly unfuckable, under any circumstances."

why does nvidia, the largest fraud, not simply eat the other 8?

Is he dead yet? No? Fuck.

I am unapologetically a huge fan of the Maestro, GDT - this looks like it's going to be exquisite.

Christ on a tricycle

Science has lost a titan - and all primates (including us) have lost a champion. Rest in Power, Dr Goodall. Or rest in a treetop nest of leaves, if you'd prefer.

Jesus fucking Christ Well, pumpkins can *officially* fuck right off - that thing is terrifying.

Superb work. No notes.

Best analogy I've seen yet. Fuck AI, and fuck anyone using it.

Here's that monotreme-inflected timeline cleanser you asked for. Oh, you didn't? Tough luck, pal. LOOK AT THE BLOODY PLATYPUS, DAMN YOUR EYES

From the distant land of Australia: Hello World, Good Morning, America, and Greetings to All Ships At Sea. So. Is he dead yet? No? Fuck.

Release the Epstein Files

doing important work

Well, we'd been drinking.

Hard to know what the fuck we're looking at here, but this is my best guess: This man flays the faces of captive children and staples them to his own head every morning, hoping to power the data centres for his worthless Electric Nonsense Machines from their screams.

Support our writers by donating to the beer fund: chaser.com.au/support

Share your favourite black-and-white film.

These photos of Claudia Cardinale feeding cats spaghetti should honestly replace the Italian flag

Alexandra Heller-Nicholas is a genius and I’m glad that everyone knows.

Maybe start reframing this as the obnoxious and insulting disrespect being shown to both the Prime Minister and people of Australia - once one of the United States' most reliable trading partners, closest allies, and oldest friends - by the erratic, corrupt and ignorant President of that country?

Good morning America, from a distant land, far away. So. Is he dead yet? No? Fuck. I feel a headache coming on - best I go take some paracetamol, then. I like the crunchy Tylenol ones best.

DISNEY: "OK, we are putting Jimmy Kimmel back on the air. You can resubscribe now." ME: "I unsubscribed because you immorally bowed to fascism. I'm not going to resubscribe because you immorally bowed to finances."

Gravitas. Dignity. Humanity. These are all words with the letter "t" in them. And then there's this bloated moronic corrupt rapist bell-end.

...episode eleventy-fucking-million in an apparently endless series, "Americans Discovering There Are Other Countries In The World." They've gone from putting a human on the Moon and inventing the Minimoog to a being a nation of paste-eating dipshits in less than a human lifetime. For fuck's sake.

I'm off to find some Dutch people, and buy them a lot of beers.

Apparently, this creep is only 46 years old. This is what being a joyless fascist shitbird will do to you.

Fair enough, too. Not a fan of the guy, but he's absolutely right here.

Yeah, they are. They really are, you fat corrupt fucking rapist deadshit imbecile.

The following is a statement from the WGA on ABC’s decision to pull ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live!’

TERRORISM EXPERT HERE: He cannot designate an idea as a terrorist group. There is no org called ANTIFA. There is no leadership or funding path or no membership. Also there is no terrorism law in America. Ask Luigi. He wants to call anyone a terrorist. That’s Fascism. #ReleaseTheEpsteinFiles

It was nice of Trump to bring a hat rack and a pair of plastic hands from Spirit Halloween to meet the King of England

Not really an overstatement to say that the test of a free society is whether or not comedians can make fun of the country's leader on TV without repurcussions.

John Lyons is a superb and universally respected Australian journalist, and is utterly unafraid of that bloated, corrupt rapist cretin... ...and Lyons might be worthy of emulation, by, oh, I don't know, EVERY. OTHER. FUCKING. JOURNALIST. ESPECIALLY. FUCKING. AMERICAN. ONES.

A superb piece here, shared for your enjoyment - speaking to one of my great passions. I do love me a big explodey mountain. 🌋 The love I have for scientists is positively scandalous.

Hankyoreh now has an official English translation of this editorial: english.hani.co.kr/arti/english...

Probably the best analysis of the Kirk shooting I’ve heard so far. From Mark Kenny on ABC Insiders this morning.

Unfortunately, I had heard of him. And his odious, idiotic and bigoted views. Which makes all the post-mortem mythologising about what a "hero of free speech" he was, even more hard to stomach.

Get off Twitter NOW. Like literally right now. Delete it from your devices.

The Nation pulls NO punches, from @espiers.bsky.social "There's no requirement to take part in this whitewashing campaign. Refusing to join in doesn’t make anyone a bad person. It’s a choice to write an obituary that begins “Joseph Goebbels was a gifted marketer and loving father to six children.”

marco rubio trying to impose sanctions on brazil but he can't because his propeller beanie keeps falling off and getting caught in his tricycle

Merely meditating upon the delicious smell of burning toast.

Morning, BlueSky family, wherever you are. Please accept this much, *MUCH* needed timeline cleanser, from a Distant Land Far Away: