I feel like I’ve lost the last remaining brain cells here

Instead of the Nuzzi shit, let's focus on the fact that apparently Johnny Knoxville got married this past weekend, the wedding was officiated by John Waters, and a dog was involved

I know for a fact that I posted about Tybalts gun on X the everything app and wanting it as a tattoo and it’s GONE ELON MUSK MUST STOP DELETING THE ARCHIVE OF MY LIFE I WISH TO GET ALL THE ARCHIVES AND MAKE IT INTO A BOOK WITH AN INDEX FOR MY PERSONAL REASONS

Just need another that’s not a months rent? Please I beg of you

I either need to become one of the cunts who buys up all the G Plan tall boys and sell them for £4-500 OR find the cunt who decided that recycling good quality furniture that lasts a life time that exudes timeless style and marked it up, and 💀 him (I know it’s a him don’t tell me otherwise)

Next Week!

Whoever decided the end credits music for alien Earth is probably my soulmate - please contact me xxx

Got slapped again at the nail bar, which was fine but I honestly wish they’d let you vape in here EVERY SINGLE NAIL TECH AND CLIENT ALL VAPE SO LET US VAPE

Watching mastermind and specialist subjects were Nixon (my bfs literal specialist subject) Derry girls (I like it) something else idk and NIRVANA THE BAND MY LITERAL SPECIALIST SUBJECT but as the guy sat down, I mean with utmost respect was the most autistic man I’ve ever seen

Crafters: (or general DIY people) What is the best hand held, crafting drill, doesn’t even need to be electric just makes teeny holes in teeny things? Many thanks (bonus pic of Nixon holding a spanner asking and pleading for help and advice and wet food)

I have had flu all week and I wish to fucking murder the cunt who gave it to me, ME A CHRONICALLY ILL GIRLIE WHO DOESNT DESERVE TO BE NORMAL PERSON ILL (I missed my flu jab bc I was ill)

been thinking a lot about this and honestly i want to know how different UK churches and institutions would be, if at all. couple of our local places i have faith in (lol) but i don't know if that's true on a wider basis

So funny how pizzagate all hinged on the idea that elite paedophiles would never explicitly talk about their crimes via email and would probably develop some kind of elaborate code

Decided to watch the scene where Charlotte dies in the 1973 film right before I went to bed???? I am a stone cold cunt but I am hysterically crying now I am unsure why I did this

Can I hire an assistant for the day to help me list SIX ikea bags full of clothes Help me I am ill

Someone asked this yesterday & the answer is yes! But as noted, I love to do mini editorial photos to accompany pieces (bc I love it and it helps with engagement) however this takes soooo much energy If you would like to do something for your portfolio or payment of Greggs (I am poor) hmu!

I really dislike Victoria Coren for a lot of reasons, but telling Glinner to essentially fuck off and get help publicly, means I will reluctantly stop shouting abuse at only connect

I knew as soon as I got this notification I was fucking cooked AND I WAS RIGHT - FUCKING EVRI

I hope this is how you find out Mamdani is mayor elect of New York

Coming on here just makes me learn things against my will, I hate it I wish for a different place to speak to my friends that’s also not discord which is full of furries and nonces, Twitter which is full of Nazis and nonces, and Instagram which is very depressing and there’s also Nazis

His ex wife is from Berkhamsted which is to be fair an extremely affluent small very old town, but also it’s 20 minutes from central London and Berko, Tring, Hemel (Dacorum) are all fucking 20 mins away and very urbanised and if he calls me a hobbit again I’m gonna fucking do a class action

I am so overwhelmed rn bc I have to go and do things and I really don’t want to do ANYTHING stupid mental health - anyways here’s a dog looking suggestive

Sex worker artists, apply by 3rd November at midnight! Send low res images of the work and a brief artist statement to [email protected] ☂️

ITS HAPPENING

Best scene in Christine of course is when the car rebuilds itself and Carpenter starts playing what can only be described as Sexy Music as Arnie watches

My phone made a little autumn video for me from my photos Was really cute until it added my nudes and nude content fucking hellll

God you skip elvanse for a few days and take it again and you feel like pitching ideas and humiliating yourself with rejection

Just remembering how much I fucking hated the substance, and I want to write about how there’s so many better body horror films, with more substance and meaning in them, as well as better body horror FX technically and mentally Like a guide? But also someone give me money to do so! X

it’s gonna be a “tapping upnthe foodbank again” kind of grim month, so if anybody can help your unfriendly neighbourhood blacksmith acquire Decent Nutrition, that would be very nice of you. sorry, i’m trying to be better at money but things are still shite. www.paypal.com/paypalme/kat...

parents, please keep an eye on your children's sweets this halloween. I was just reading on whatsapp that a child from the area arrived home with an innocent-seeming pack of haribo that turned out to be full of photofits of the infamous yorkshire ripper.

Sexy private pyle

My favourite album of all time has been repressed and it’s coming tomorrow and I am beyond fucking excited

Trying to make a teeny bit of £££ so you know if you like 🥵🔥🌶️ then hit the link onlyfans.com/femmefatigue

Trying to make a teeny bit of £££ so you know if you like 🥵🔥🌶️ then hit the link onlyfans.com/femmefatigue

BEST THING IVE EVER SEEN IM CRYING

You can't logic your way out of being burnt out. Unless you're me. Who should be able to do it and it's a personal failing that I can't

Anyway spent some hilarious quality time with my nephews today, here is a picture of the panda bus the youngest made NB this is not even close to all the panda plushies that they own in that house

The beaurocratic admin of death is so impossibly mundane and hellish at the same time, I think it might actually BE one of the nine circles of hell

My Halloween stuff came and now I have a demon cat

My best chubby pum tweets: a thread

CW: weight loss, cosmetic surgery So I might be going on ozempic for my diabetes like a legit reason, I know I’ll lose weight but I just read that if you got chubby pum it gets baggy af It’s well known I’m proud of my chubby pum and I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE MONS PUBIS/LABIAPLASTY LIFTS?? wtf man

Weird 24 hours: Got approved for Botox on NHS via my neurologist 🤌🏻 Finished my sylvanian family blind bag collection 🤌🏻 Got some new records I’ve been meaning to get for ages 🤌🏻 Got a new tv 🤌🏻 My aunt died 👎🏻 She had severe paranoid schizophrenia and Hodgkin’s lymphoma and died alone in her flat

Very good news for a change, dead nonces

Absolutely love to see it news.sky.com/story/lostpr...

There’s a man ruining dancing on my own busking in Milton Keynes shopping centre and I’m gonna fucking kick over his shitty amp and also his big round head

Boyfriend literally been in primark changing rooms with ONE pair of cords for 25 mins Has he died? Has he stepped through that portal in event horizon? Or has he become overwhelmed with an adhd fixation on his phone