Cauliflower Crust Supreme Pizza is delicious. These skeets aren’t deep but they are true

I definitely thought I would be secretly productive today

Bout to make this my "Out of Office" message til 2026

Heather is weird. I am 40 and still get offended if my mom sends me to voicemail but if she did that shit on Mother’s Day?! Ma’am. #rhoslc

I am listening to rappers born in the 90s and

Removed from anniversary coins for being too "woke": -the end of slavery -giving women the right to vote -the civil rights movement Added: -Trump Nothing subtle about what's happening here. www.nytimes.com/2025/12/14/u...

I found a Nightmare Before Christmas onesie someone got me and am now in bed.

Also holds up the idea that white people are the *only* people capable of cooly and fairly assessing fraught issues without any prejudice or bias.

Me as I face down 2026.

When Charlie Kirk was shot, he did a full oval office address. When it's college kids on campus it's "things can happen." What a sociopath.

If you’re a Real Housewife with a Todd to divorce pls stay in line

““If you are beautiful you may get killed in service to your country.” — JonBenet Ramsey” — Olivia Nuzzi

I had a hot flash today. Seems unfair

John Cena has tapped out and lost his final WWE match ever.

2026: I will watch wrestling.

The thing about measles is that it’s the only known virus that triggers immune amnesia - it causes your immune system to forget everything it has previously learned. Meaning you essentially reset to zero and are now at risk of basically everything. It can take 2-3 years to get immunities back.

feel old yet? paul galesko turns 100 today and is still anxiously awaiting parole. happy birthday mr. galesko we love you

Yo..I am the reason we are getting Season 3 of Pushing Daisies. You welcome

I have been obsessed with seeking validation from the one source I know won't give it to me and I'm suddenly seeing a pattern.

Liz Warren the first Batman villain to go after Wayne Enterprises

Just heard Pete Davidson and another man on a podcast say they disliked some past partners so much, they refused to let them go bc they didn’t want them to find someone who actually liked them and would treat them right. Also, they weren’t done extracting value from them. So, yeah 😒

if elon musk had a butler he wouldn't be spending all day online posting about trying to get grok to make a girlfriend for him, he'd be laying on the ground with jarvis spooning him, cradling his head gently

Olivia Nuzzi reportedly knew about Kennedy leaving a bear carcass in Central Park.

The TWiB era was something else, man. But I met some great people I still consider friends to this day.

Our heroine was 14 minutes into IT: Welcome to Derry before she realized that edible was a mistake.

Saving this for morning coffee

😂😂😂😂😂

well, maybe she was right.

Depression! Will arrive. After 5. But you gotta be smart about it

Listening to my mother rant about a “dumb bird” on her way to work was the highlight of my birthday morning. She was so mad

I love this woman so much. #rhop

I hope no one lets any elected official to pretend to forget about this. They want people to starve.

#blackbooksky #booksky This guy is clearly on bullshit. Young Adult books are amazing

Government attorneys filed a layout of the Broadview facility and in court, brought up the fact that there are showers at the processing center, but they do not work. "One is reminded of Auschwitz. There were showers there that didn't work, too." - Judge Robert Gettleman American Auschwitz is here

Dear Reader, I quit after 5 minutes. I started to feel mean because the casting choice was real bad. Not as bad as Kim K as a lawyer but close. Signed, Me

I am watching Tyler Perry’s Alex Cross and it’s @privateideation.bsky.social fault

Pre-writing your enemy's obituary in case you go first is top-tier hating

Ain't this the fucking truth...

"I SAID GOOD MORNING" is Black culture.

Y’all about to get my book skeets because I don’t have the capacity for two different accounts. If you follow @melscrowdedshelf.bsky.social and you like it, then follow me. I’m Mel

exactly. 1 job = 1 livable wage. and that job shouldn't have to come with a desk and an email account.

What holds my sanity together? Prayer, Prozac, Jessica Fletcher and these books…

Firing squad

I am going to start sleeping like a kid. This girl ain’t but a minute big but has managed to take over a king sized bed

Mary Sheffield in a landslide for mayor of Detroit

Hated trans kids as much as she hated hair conditioner, apparently

BREAKING Zohran Mamdani is projected to win the New York City mayor’s race. Mamdani will make history as the first Muslim and first South Asian to serve as mayor of New York City. He will also be the first immigrant in nearly 140 years to serve as mayor of New York City. Per Decision Desk HQ.

I confess to having a lot of questions about a campaign pitch that distills to "I agree with Trump, who endorses me, and who I have said will send troops to occupy NYC if my opponent is elected"

Interesting