A welcome addition to the morning crew

Now this is CONCACAF

Cleaning out old emails from The Before Times (December 2019). I remember buying these while I was on the tail end of what I thought at the time was the worst flu of my entire life, glad I was recovering, and excited to travel and do fun and exciting things in 2020. Yeah. @pattonoswalt.bsky.social

Don’t threaten me with a good time

An acronym for later: On-Demand Episodic Serialization (ODES)

having a great time in all the group chats I've been invited to 😭

Trump take Knick

Billy Joel voice:

People still acting surprised about Disney backing an anticapitalist masterpiece with Andor when Mary Poppins has been around for generations.

We love a full-throated endorsement of bringing back the 90% marginal rate.

Finally, Schroeder can fight Kratos

The Undertaker before and after being asked if he could smell what the Rock was cooking.

The tradition must continue. But also it’s alarmingly applicable too. It’s literally not too hot, not too cold, AND I wore a light jacket to walk out for coffee this morning. Amazing.

Just waiting for Smaug Private Capital any day now.

They don’t say which one so I’m going to just assume it’s Elden Ring.

Bitches, leave.

I’m at ICE HQ

CAN YOU SECURE THE STRAIT OF HORMUZ?????

The other side of the “everyone is just 12 now” coin.

Has anyone ever asked Markwayne what his parents were thinking? Or if it was just like a mistake on the birth certificate and they leaned into it.

It's an uncommon peekaboo, at the intersection of Pinkman peekaboo, Kendrick peekaboo and Siouxsie peekaboo

And take your special blankie with you

The Bride reviews are evenly split between "what the fuck is this, 1 star" and "what the fuck is this, 5 stars," I'm so excited

Glanced at the marquee and thought it said "Herzog: Ghostbusters" and thought, "Why, yes, I would see that movie."

I’ll be just fine

What a perfect day for John Oliver to do a Twitter takedown

The struggle with deciding whether to attend this is deciding if I love Jamiroquai more than I hate Pentatonix. The yin and the yang. I must sit with this.

I hope Martha's doing OK.

“Look as long as the Dow’s up, let the man fuck some kids”

Vernietigen ICE

The “And We’re the Cleveland Browns!” guy is gonna have a field day with all these Patriot punts.

im building machines that i keep saying will both throw you out of work and allow masked special police forces in service to a lunatic i bought and paid for to recognize your face and check if i agree with your beliefs. im part of a pedophile ring that put this into motion. why are you rude to me

TPUSA halftime show looking pretty lit

Honestly thought I’d see ICE in more Cybertrucks

My following demographic heavily trends towards the east, judging by all the SO IT BEGINS snow pictures, while here in flyover country the roads are already scraped.

This all makes perfect sense when you realize he also lost the Nobel Prize for Not Molesting Children

As we are discussing the scope and breadth of AI in our digital lives, we need to acknowledge the extraordinary affinity algorithm in TikTok, which served me a clip this morning about the impeccable style aesthetic of Richard Dreyfuss in Jaws and I need to know just how it could see into my soul.

I just need to find a way to make job interviews my actual job

POV: Weird Al Yankovic, listening to The Offspring, holding a block of cream cheese

Devastating

I’m convinced that Pluribus was specifically created to brute force NATAS to finally give Rhea Seehorn the Emmys she should already have lining her shelves.

I made this dumb little throwaway joke meme just this morning for my group chat, because almost 39 years later, that movie is still utterly perfect and forever a part of our collective vocabulary. What a horrible night.

imagining an all night diner in a redwall world. little rat smoking while cooking on a flaptop. burned coffee in an acorn mug. the whole thing is inside a pumpkin