Every Super Bowl ad is for the door in the forest. It’s annoying. “You must walk through the door.” Yeah thanks, I know that already. I dream of the door every night

The only difference between slavery and a modern work from home 9-5 is the pay and ability to quit

Who up imbuing they slayer helm

Crazy that OSRS invented the extraction shooter genre back in 2001

xbox live took stronger action against jeffrey epstein than the entire us government

alright i'll do one

Maybe it’s just me but has anyone else noticed that kids these days were not born 35 years ago? This is a grand political insight of mine give me $1,000 for writing this thank you.

“No it looks great I just think the rear heart should be flipped is a-“ *I am beheaded by an axe with heart-shaped holes in the blade, japan, 14th century*

She’s literally playing Fortnite but go off

Getting sick of people who negatively compare stuff to jingling keys ignoring the pleasing sounds and lowkey fire visuals.

NO!

The charmin toilet paper company sparked controversy today when they announced their new Fuck a Fan contest One executive was heard saying “we heard people like bears”

A beer and coffee is a health potion I could cast a fireball right now I know it in my bones

Bar where the bathroom doors have an M for Mademoiselle and an F for Frickin Dudes

I should not have taught my millennial wife the word eepy

I’ll log onto Australian OSRS servers and after silently hitting the gemstone crab for 2 hours I’ll drop a single “crikey” in chat

People like in-n-out because it’s a polite hamburger

Marty Supreme fuckin cheated Bro was wearing a white shirt

I had Sauron Security once but I had to drop them after they let these 2 little guys sneak into my home and destroy my Ring… camera… my Ring camera everybody

In Avatar 3 they said “it’s almost time for the baby whale party” and my wife got so excited she started pounding her lap with her fists in the theater

The smart kids who were in your classes now use it regularly at work

Those new to Bsky need to be made aware of one of the greatest skeets ever, deleted long before its time.

😛

Dreidel 2 the sequel to dreidel This time its personal

I won’t respect the computer until it learns to respect itself

Every morning I wake up and drop a cigarette into my toaster because he deserves a treat

Everyone’s saying he going to kill himself when he’s really just going to announce a gold strapon

Idea to improve Arc Raiders interactions: Game detects and replaces common proximity voice chats with different words to spark conflict i.e. “I’m looking for toasters” becomes “I’m looking for murder” “Want to fight the queen?” -> “Want to fuck your dad?” “Friendly” -> “I like NFTs”

We found an Account

We’d get some much great art if he dies on the toilet

Bluesky is great because you can log on and see mark cuban post like a 15 year old redditor

I would delete the E from Video

My wife just said if she was handed an AI trained on my discord messages after I died she would punch her own ticket???

The angry quotes on this are our version of cons raging at bars serving mocktails. Nobody’s forcing you to order decaf bro it’s fine.

ChatGPT grandma just told me to kill myself

When someone makes a single weird noise in the Teams meeting

Zelle making me 2fa and click confirm 7 different times to send someone $4.50

After a week in Spain I demand to see 1 vegetable

True

So you say you're glad that he's frozen in there and we're out here. And that he's the sheriff. And that you're frozen out here. And you're in there. But oh, you just remembered - you're out here. But what I really wanna know is... where's the caveman?

My therapist told me I need to be more evil

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to have google AI’s help raising my baby… it’s just she’s starting to get really heavy what with all the rocks in there

Me after my fifth $5 Jell-O shot at Dave and busters