Handsome dude season is upon us 🪶

(forgetting the term for seedless grapes) blank grapes

Oh, so when drag queens and pop stars serve cunt, they're Mother. But when I, Hannibal Lecter,

acting gold

My cat testing for the 349575th time whether or not biting me will make me feed him more

Dre: I heard it mimicking you again. Me: stop it. I don’t want to hear about it. and that’s how ignoring the nothing in my house is going.

I love him

the yard ravens are on the roof, communicating with me through a pipe in my kitchen. the dogs are not amused. I am intensely amused.

hell yeah

you love to see it!

my cat after i go pspsps:

finding typos and formatting errors in years-old stories that have been reprinted multiple times and that you missed every single time and that you know in your soul came from you and no one else

yaaaaay!!! congratulations!

If you pre-ordered ENCOUNTERS, make sure you've emailed a copy of your pre-order receipt to [email protected] so we can include you in the draw. I'll be picking winners on 4/24 when the paperback releases 👻🖤

just had a thought...

If you don't read comics, you should. If you read comics, you should read more.

moving through my house at feeding time is that scene from THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS with the semi truck, except I don’t get a shotgun and everyone is screaming at me

I went and saw Project Hail Mary. A guy came in with his service dog and the dog sat there the whole time just concentrating on the movie. Afterwards I told the guy I was amazed your dog watched the movie like that. He replied, me too especially because he hated the book.

i cantasy

It's called mantasy, T. It's when the magic sword is your dad never hugged you.

What a lovely review of The Map of Lost Places! I love that people are still reviewing it and hope even more people discover our creepy little anthology.

Hoovering the forest

What it looks like when the mailman leaves a box of monsters on your front step... ENCOUNTERS with cryptids is out in paperback on 4/24/26. www.amazon.com/dp/B0G4BLN1GR

If you’re already in space STAY IN SPACE.

the vibes may be fucked today but you can still take two photos of the same bird with different lenses. nobody is stopping you

The Moon: oh wow you guys decided to come back Artemis II crew: earth’s haunted

really regret watching THREADS for the first time last month. uh

I feel pretty confident in them

My new story "Classifieds," is up at Nerd Horror Stories/YouTube for you to listen to. This is probably one of my favorite stories I've written and touches on paranoia, racism, fake news, and an unraveling mind. Go give it a listen!

Do you have a moment to talk about my mint new newsletter? It is currently empty. I may have news. I may forget about it by the end of the year. thoughthing.beehiiv.com

I read THIS IS MY BODY recently and it was great.

sent out a bunch of story submissions this morning. gotta stay out there

we saw you from across the omelet bar

Happy Easter

Little Ghosts #Photography #Fungus #ForestFriday

Un-creatively repeating my promotion post again 🔥💻

proud of myself for venturing out to Arts Alive. scored a new copy of STRANGE PICTURES by Uketsu which I’ve been dying to read, and a used copy of Lansdale’s HIGH COTTON which I’m excited to check out, having read BUMPER CROP last year. good day

Only change will save us-2026 (And maybe butts)

hell yeah

boom

me: (doing a plank on the floor) my dog: I’m gonna rub this itch of mine on your face as I walk by reaaal slow, if that’s cool?

yes

PAPERBACK COMING

I just want to sing “Don’t Stop Believin’” in a silly voice and my dogs won’t stop barking.

Isaac Chotiner: You say the two cats who live in your house are "Jerks" and you don't care for them Me: Absolutely. They are the burdens of my life Chotiner: It seems you spent an hour searching for special food for them and paid more for it than you do even for your own food. Me: That's--Hold on,

omg

As many of you know, my wife and I are restoring this spooky, historical house. We plan to eventually open it up for writers retreats, community events, Halloween fun, photoshoots, public viewings, weddings, etc. We are grateful for any amount donated. gofund.me/7c40d92a2

need, want, must have

aw the old dad in my video game just Royal Tenenbaumed me