Don’t talk about my life much (besides mac n cheese consumption). But here’s sumthing. Last year, me and girl went to London for a vacation. One evening, as the sun was setting, I asked her to marry me. She said yes lol. Anyway next Saturday I’m getting married. In my feelings rn

Zombie miners 🧟 Dark Fantasy 🐉 X-Files vibes 👽 Romance 🌹 Sometimes you can have all four of those. Not always, but sometimes. malarkeybooks.com/store/barre-...

Yooo just came back from my third ever dance class. I don’t want to say I’m mad sick…but sense the tone

I’m kinda like the KABOOM BURGERS AND WINGS of this horror shit

I’ve seen every episode of Stranger Things and I swear to god I couldn’t tell you anything that’s happened. I know there’s maybe a girl called Elle le Van and that one kid with no teeth is funny. And that’s it. I don’t know any of the stranger things. Not one.

New Hilary Duff song slaps don’t @ me

Only I should be allowed to get mad.

Pho is good for your soul but ramen is good for your fists. Every pint of ramen in you equals to like five pounds of muscle

Billy Woods making Dune references on BLK ZMBY. Hip hop and Frank Herbert. I used to pray for days like this

Can you imagine going to space and just fucking up lines of spice so you can speak black metal to frog men? Gawd, I want to be a Bene Gesserit witch so bad

Lunchables should come adult-portion size too!

I bet Bigfoot tastes like spicy Buffalo pepperettes

I should learn to make pancakes. Haven’t had them since I was a kid

Hip hop not charting for the first time since the 90s in the same year where Earl, JID, Chance, Tyler, Freddie, and Clipse dropped monumental projects says so much. Chart topping, superficial, flashes in the pan aren’t going to keep the genre alive. But music like this will.

Big day for eels in horror! @andrewcull.bsky.social and @slimyswampghost.bsky.social selected my story for the cryptid horror anthology, ENCOUNTERS. More eels coming soon. Til then, here’s the opening line.

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Tonight I’m going to this joint nearby that makes pizza so good I be looking at it the way Kojima be looking at Hunter Schafer.

People only come in two temperaments. You’re either Son Goku or Pikachu.

It makes me sad that my dog’s never tried ramen. Like what are you doing with your life?

I ain’t listening to West Coast hip hop for an entire year. Devastated. Toronto I love you. Jays killed it.

TORONTO STAND UP!! PIZZA AND COKE FOR THE BOYS!!

Fastest Man Alive, Muddasuckas!

Happy Hallowe’en, you weirdos, mine!

Doggy, I don’t care it’s not Tuesday. Run them tacos.

Yoooo just picked up Wet Screams, edited by @garbagesauce.bsky.social and @chrisshapedghost.bsky.social! Can’t wait to dive in. Let’s goooooo

Kraft Foods should open a theme park a la Lego Land but everything is mac n cheese

My review for the shocking and original Feast of the Pale Leviathan by @johnchrostek.com: www.goodreads.com/review/show/...

I’m positive if I concentrate hard enough I can mentally possess Ohtani from the Dodgers and make him throw the game. But I can’t promise that he’ll be okay afterwards. Your call, Schneider.

Im so benevolent. Even though I write weird little stories, never once have I asked the neighbours on my floor for a tithe. Yes, there will come a day when I demand their fealty and servitude, but think about my restraint in waiting this long. Such grace.

Wow, this is my favourite thing I’ve read from Kirsti. It cut deep for personal reasons. But in absolute awe of this piece. The structure is gorgeous and the way it mediates on heaven and hell feels so earnest and urgent even…just wow.

How your email finds me after a night of watching 18 innings only for the Jays to lose

Watching sports for the first time cuz the Jays are in the World Series. My issue with sports is this: in fiction, the good guys always win :(

hey! my novel OLWDU is under two bucks if you wanna get scared shitless for Halloween. great deals on some awesome fiction below. Alt text for image with link shows a Halloween themed banner announcing ebooks from Dark Matter are on sale for a dollar ninety-nine on kindle from October 27-31st

Everyone talking about Chainsaw Man makes me happy. It’s been such a driving force of creativity for me

Me and my chihuahua saw you across the bar and we really hate your vibe. Can you get out of our face before we bite the shit out of you?

Karlo’s writing is fire as hell and everyone should be copping this! 🔥

$4 for a shot to win four 4"x4" tattoo flash, hand painted on my *fancy* paper! I'm drawing winners this Friday and 100% of the proceeds are going to the ACLU! Free shipping within the US. Let's do a small, good, actionable thing this week you mfs!!!!!!

We don’t care if you call them “novels” or “novellas” or “collections” or “composite novels” or “this one will stop a crossbow bolt when held in front of your chest”. We just want you to read good Weird books. And we’ve got a lot of those🖤☠️ store.tenebrouspress.com

Vibe check for my next book coming out through @deadskypub.bsky.social in July! I'm stoked for everybody to meet Milo, Marie, and the two townie dipshits from the medical supply company who will grasp you by your sweaty hand and lead you to the beginning of this very, very weird story

I made a salad, extra bacon, extra large croutons, held the lettuce, buttered the extra large croutons, fried some eggs…Okay, yeah, I made eggs and bacon and buttered toast

Please support our indie friends @weightlessbooks.bsky.social for all your eBook needs.

Yamamoto is the scariest guy I’ve seen in my life

People who down on Settlers of Catan don’t know the feeling of making a sick trade and feeling like a cutthroat lumber tycoon and ore baron

This episode of Malarkey Public Radio has been in the can for a while and we are excited and thankful to finally see it released today. @ljabouttown.bsky.social talks with @yoadrianididit.bsky.social about thinking about being dead and having fun with it! podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/m...

It’s official: Guillermo del Toro is a Toronto mans

My favourite characters so far are Ye I’m Savage and Boba Fett

If anybody needs me I’m going to be hanging around the Rogers Centre tonight pounding back some Molsons just in case someone from the Blue Jays walks by, sees something in me, gold like pony boy, and asks me to be team captain

Nah brodie, I don’t play for the Jays. Thank you for saying so tho. I’m only holding this baseball bat cuz the geese around here are scary

This is so damn good! @burialmagazine.bsky.social, you a killer!