Kids requested English dubbing to this show I was watching but I left the subtitles on and the difference between the English dubbing/subtitles was giving me heartburn. They were way too different from each other 🥲

The reference book I need for the book I’m writing is missing so I’m just gonna make shit up for now until it materializes

I was off today and the kids get home in a little over and hour how tf do I make the most of it? Idk but I had my phone blocked all day which was a double break. It was marvelous

If I’m trying to pick up a feather or something in Stardew Valley and my inventory is full and I’m holding an egg, a prompt says: “Eat large egg?” and somehow I still keep trying to pick up the feather, and eventually I accidentally eat the large egg instead. Reminiscent of my own inattentive nature

Ok this case the fried rice was from frozen but I finally got the fried egg how I wanted it so I’m sharing

🔥🔥🔥🔥

This morning I sent @joeyhedger.bsky.social stickers to put on my books at the @malarkeybooks.bsky.social AWP table since I won’t be there this year. Be sure to go say hi and buy a bunch of great books. There will probably be other cool Malarkey merch too. (P.S. I’ll be back next year!)

I have a spreadsheet on my laptop in dark mode that for some reason resembles an AS400 screen when viewed from the corner of my eye. I keep having flashbacks to an old place I no longer work at and jump scaring myself

Thanks to Carson Winter and PLM for having me on their podcast to gossip about fairy tales and stuff!

as the only person (to my knowledge) to ever be given a sports beat at Cracked, it is my right to once a year turn the Shipwrecked Sailor Blog into a @kdonhoops.com impression. It’s the Annual Shipwrecked Sailor NBA column! www.lazyandentitled.org?p=162657949

Have you heard the news? The dead wal- Wait, wrong song! The news is: Tenebrous has signed a distribution deal with @ipgbook.bsky.social ! What does that mean exactly? For our readers: hopefully more places where you can find our books, especially more bookstores and retailers. ⬇️

Coming in November! Black Ink: Pulp Stories from Black Newspapers, 1929-55. Stories of daring rogues, alien encounters, zombies, future technologies, and punching racists. Co-edited by Timothy R. Granger (aka Timaeus Bloom) and Mike Phillips. frombeyondpress.com/books/black-...

I’d just like to give a shoutout to this incredible guide for writers with an upcoming book from @ljabouttown.bsky.social malarkeybooks.com/publishing/s...

At 1pm, we announce the resistance. And the zombies. And the aliens. And the punching racists in the face.

The Dogmen Fudge Incident is officially out today!!!! Please check out this wild cryptid story that is a wacky chocolatey bloody adventure!!! Links below... And let me know if you'd like a signed copy...

Always fun to see your book on a bookstore shelf, and the neighbors it finds. Just me and Herta hanging out. @malarkeybooks.bsky.social

When someone says I’m not allowed to do something

I stepped on marbles but I didn’t run in place on top of them until I went flying to the ground but maybe it was bc they were on a carpeted floor

Post a banger that isn't in English Sorry it’s Korean/English but it’s new and I love it and wanna share it youtu.be/vqkfEUqjl6Y?...

Bad Bunny’s performance began in the plantation, featured broken electric poles, and ended by centering a hemispheric understanding of “América”—among many other things—and some Anglo journalists are like “his performance wasn’t political.” This is why we need to be telling our stories.

I’ve reached the phase of mothering where I ask if someone wants me to turn the light on and they say no and I turn the light on anyway and if they don’t protest I just leave the room with it like that

ICE is still abducting people. ICE is still arresting peaceful observers. ICE is still gassing people. ICE is still showing up at grade schools. www.cnn.com/2026/02/08/u...

Please take the time to read what the children detained in Dilley wrote me in their own words: www.propublica.org/article/ice-... 10/

A bookstore returned some books back to Malarkey and my debut novel, Kill Radio, was among them. They’re going for $13! People told me after reading that they enjoyed the possession stuff in this book malarkeybooks.com/store/returns

Happy birthday to a real one! Still Alive is one of our best-sellers for a very good reason, which is that it’s fucking incredible.

That was the best halftime show I can’t even 😭

I rescued a teen girl from the woods, and all I got 36 years later was This Horrible Woman! Page o' sketches, some from a few months ago, some from a few minutes ago!

I knew someone who asked their dr a long time ago about the anti vax thing and they said “if your kid is really sick, who would you rather take advice from? A licensed physician or Jenny McCarthy?” and i thought that was a pretty good thing to say in that situation

Punk rock reviewers of the world, please sign up for our digital ARCs list. If you ever want a print copy instead of a pdf just ask and we’ll see if we can swing it malarkeybooks.com/for-reviewers

New newsletter out in the world. Kind of do hope it gets read at least a little bit. buttondown.com/MalarkeyBook...

Whenever I see art with stippling, I think of my summer school art class in high school when a kid repeated “this is just tedious busywork” like every 30-ish minutes the whole time we worked on our stippling pieces. He was the best artist in the class too so we felt justified in our frustrations

In 2026 we should bring back movie scenes with rolling and jumping and cartwheeling through a room to dodge a security system that is a billion lasers that you can only see because you put smoke in the room or something to make them visible

Friday Links is UP! Featuring @djbyrnes1.bsky.social @juliametraux.bsky.social @gritsforbreakfast.bsky.social and MORE! Leadbelly, sadly, not on bluesky www.lazyandentitled.org?p=162657965

Maybe this counts as a "take," but today I weigh in on this week's food discourse about whether broke folks should learn to make do with salt, pepper, butter, and oil. (Spoiler alert: NOPE) ko-fi.com/post/A-Month...

Happy new ATEEZ album day 💜

If you watched the Netflix series Locke & Key, this is the kind of wild, beautiful stuff you’ll never see in the show. just look at those *eyes*. I’d just run screaming if I saw that. Gabriel Rodriguez is the artist. Read the orig. series. Story by Joe Hill. Maybe you’ve heard of him :P

The kitties will see you now.

hint hint

Also have Toadstones, Faith, Kill Radio, and Still Alive. Cheap books for you; we get to recover lost $$$. Win-win.

Guys Backmask is so good. Like, $13 is such a steal. Get it if you like New York, the 60s rock scene, wild characters, or satanic panics!

loot that drops after defeating me: - My headphones - a Labubu - Ghost merch - cups of whipped cream, roasted salted pecans, semi sweet chocolate chips, pretzel bits and chocolate sauce - Flonase - a Green Lung CD - an ATEEZ CD - a black hoodie

Really hard to be big and scary and not burst out laughing when getting my kid to complete this pile of missed assignments when I take her tablet away from her, and it looks like this, and its playing ? elevator funk music? and I tripped and almost dropped the tablet and accidentally said “SHIIIZ!”

Reading this book and just had to send a shout-out to @robertottone.bsky.social for his creepy story "In the Deep End." Yikes! Deixa o menino dormir!

Read The Night Ship by @alexwoodroe.com ! Incredible Cosmic Horror, beautifully done. Really loved this book.

I’m watching Thirteen Ghosts. I can’t believe it’s 25 years old.

And if you buy it, you can chat with us about it at the @jackofallgraves.com book club next month, too!

💜 In this book, there’s a town with a lot of weird activity going on, which is my *love* letter to the book The Mothman Prophecies. 💜 The Barre Incidents has Romance in it, too.. Kinda proud of that part of it. 💜 Sorry. I’m trying to be topical 💜 How’d I do? Buy my book!!!

We got my oldest a smartwatch bc we need to contact her when she’s not home & don’t want her scrolling. she did voice-to-text to text me at recess today, and something’s off unless a dead rat *is* skating around the playground and gave Mr. Adams rabies (there is no Mr. Adams at her school)

I hate every YouTuber who got a show on a streaming platform bc you still talk in the same annoying internet-affectation voice but you have managed to bypass the “no YT rule” we have in this house so I still have to hear you

THIS WEDNESDAY: @alexwoodroe.com, the badass editor-in-chief of @tenebrouspress.bsky.social, joins the show! We talk about her work at Tenebrous, her new novel THE NIGHT SHIP, and we dig deep into the Weird classic that is RETURN TO OZ! Episode drops 2/4 at Noon Central!