I think Pope Leo would make a great wrestler.

I'm gonna be honest here: the sex with Princess Toadstool? Not great. Don't see why Koopa is such a morto di figa over her.

Nosferatu looks like the incel version of a vampire.

Hey Paisan: the Captain noticed you've been hollering about this for almost TWO WEEKS! Buddy, your mama must be worried suck about you! Go log off. Take a walk outside. Maybe give Ma a call. She'll appreciate it!

Logging on! Do something that would make Lydia Spivak proud today

Good morning Paisanos! Capt Lou noticed Disney Adults was trending on the blueskys yesterday. Well, The Animal and I got something to say to about THAT:

Capt Lou here reminding you that ALL COPS ARE BASTARDS! Why are we wasting good tax money on them anyhow? BIGGEST CRIMINALS IN THE RACKET!

THIS IS A JOB FOR THE SUPER MARIO BROTHERS!

wait since we are strolling down memory lane, how about when kaitlin bennet and kirk wore diapers in public

DEAD MAN WALKING

french-kissing is OUT italian-kissing* is IN *meatball go back and forth forever

I tried telling everyone for years what a racist shitheel Hulk Hogan was. In fact, Hulkamania was his code word for "White Supremacy"!

Throw that pencil neck in a steel cage with Mr Wonderful!

Bring back calling your close friends paisano, Super Mario Super Showmaxxing our language

Listen fans: I've gotten in the face of Morton Downey Jr. and told him to on LIVE TV. I pissed on a man in a restaurant because he said wrestling was fake. I publicly apologized to my friend and trans right activist Cyndi Lauper, effectively ending my stunt as a heel! You shitlibs don't scare me!

i would not have foreseen that "outspoken progressive ally Captain Lou Albano" would be the account that reminds me Bluesky has the juice

The Brakrooms "Yeah, buddy!"

GOOD MORNING GOMBAS AND GOOMBETTES! Capt Lou here reminding you that:

The world will rejoice when the West falls

GOODNIGHT PAISONS AND GOOMBETTES! GET PLENTY OF SLEEP, SAY YOUR PRAYERS, AND STAY AWAY FROM DRUGS.

You can't fool me. That's Joe Rogan!!

Capt Lou would rather stick his salami in Ric Flair's Nature Hole than fuck Erika Kirk!

No paisano is free until we're all free! Except for Hulk Hogan, he's a real stunad!

Here's a Super Mario Fun Fact: Princess Toadstool's name is really Princess MushroomShit

uncircumcised christian girl who doesn't shower enough got that smegmata

so many b plots about beard grooming

Hi! I'm Captain Lou Albano and I just blew up the #sheshed after eating 5 lbs of mortadella.

And if you don't lay dead, you'll turn into a Goomba!!