bortled worter

if i had $$$ growing up i absolutely would've become a pianist first and foremost but. for better or for worse i've been poor my entire life and didn't really get a chance to sit in front of a piano and learn until i was like...23 lol. anyway. my fingers yearn for the keys.

wish i had the energy to work on any of my solo music stuff... i miss my synthpop project :(

to be fair i say that but americans had motherfuckers like dane cook and jeff dunham who were just as bad in different ways so. maybe comedy was just really bad on a global scale for a decade.

90s-00s british stand-up comedy is so fucking bad dude. it's always just "i'm some guy who's an asshole and i'm gonna be an asshole on stage for 30 minutes" and people fucking loved it for some reason!!!

🍫

evil metallica would be like: light. releasing me. all that i see. absolute wonder. i CAN live, i CAN die, free from myself, body is my home

i gotta buy weed and groceries but i dont wanna go outside aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

In the State Department’s original tweet, they tagged the wrong Gustavo Petro. Imagine being a random guy from Brazil and waking up to learn you’ve been visa banned from the US

oof ow my everything

she's so real for this

marathoned all of malcolm in the middle... now what

evil they might be giants is like. you ARE the boss of me now. and you ARE so big.

i miss having the space for a fullsize midi keyboard :(

googling "how many organs do you actually need"

saw a rocky horror picture show drag act that involved one of the actors getting a t-shot mid-set. phenomenal.

probably losing my odsp at the end of the month and i'm trying to be. so normal about it.

hey whats up im the guy who just followed you and went through your media tab to like all your pics. how does that make you feel. horny right

queer relationship memes are rooted in being too attached to your partner (see: u-haul jokes). straight relationship memes are rooted in not giving a shit if your partner died in front of you right now immediately (see: wife jokes). the duality of man or whatever.

i love seeing straight relationship memes on instagram and they're all like "when your boyfriend doesn't read your mind so you break all of his things so he pays attention to you" or "when your girlfriend goes outside without clearing it with you first" and at this point i think normies are doomed

back to chopping amen breaks in LSDJ :)

its impossible for men and women to date each other ethically. because of the power imbalance

Ringing endorsement for Silent Hill f

this is me btw. if u even care.

Some threats are bigger than others

Travis Scott falling off stage still makes me lose my shit ₕ 𝔞 ｅ 𝓨 🎤

- the modern public universal friend

i haven't had a gender in a while. not since the accident.

oh fuck put it in my veins; it’s getting better known DNC shills: GWAR

if jimmy kimmel was a bojack horseman character he'd be a dog named jimmy kibble or something

if you ate food from 2005 you could become ill. but in 2005 you ate it all the time

hey whats up. does this to you

this is a lie, they're actually throwing pillows, stuffed animals, blankets, and other assorted comfortable objects at me

my mutuals are always throwing hammers, knives, glass jars, and other assorted dangerous objects at me. :(

today was swagadocious (saw some art and got free weed)

the name peaky blinders is so funny. you're telling me there was a street gang basically called "gentlemen with hats" ??????

thought my stomach just made the most horrifying gurgling noise but it was just the mice that live in my ceiling... 👍

why on god's green earth is puyo puyo champions almost 10gb. it's a fucking puzzle game involving blobs. it's just weeaboo peggle. what the fuck.

it's tough being a catgirl in a sea of puppygirls but someone's gotta do it. someone's gottta be the contrarian.

wish opiates weren’t life-ruining like that bc the closest i’ve ever felt to my body being back at my pre-disability baseline has been after surgery lol

3 more months until i turn 30 and every goal i set for myself is rapidly disintegrating. maybe i'll play frogger IRL about it on my birthday.

i fucking HATE when they're mean to dewey on malcolm in the middle!!!!!!