So I accidentally shaved my mustache off if anyone has been wanting to kill me now’s a great time

People who are sus about Chappell having an ex-boyfriend are so dumb. Like how many songs about compulsory heterosexuality does this woman have to write

There is no opposition party

I had no doubt this is what happened. Remember that he became obsessed with the idea of immigrants coming from “insane asylums” because he has no idea what “seeking asylum” means. That’s why he was talking about Hannibal Lecter for a year. However stupid you think the man is, he is far stupider.

Florida man, Ezekiel, saw a wheel—and you will NOT believe where it was!

Honestly the thing that most surprises me is apparently Trump hadn’t ALREADY shared AI slop of him as Jesus before now

It is unacceptable for warehouses to be lit on fire. Someone needs to stop this chaos by paying us enough to live.

The best explanation for why Trump seems to be embodying the antichrist is that petulant tyrants have existed throughout history, they're unoriginal, and the scripture was less prophesy than description of a pattern. The second best explanation is that Trump is the antichrist.

Me af

Here’s a tip: don’t go 5 days without taking your ssris

Perhaps Magyar's most important promise, and the one that certainly resonates with voters: "never again a country without consequences!" The crowd chants: "To prison! To prison!" [with the corrupt officials of the outgoing government]

People didn't finish reading the story. The cocktail hit Sam Altman and he blew up. He just exploded. He went boom. His hand is still alive and he's an Addams Family Thing.

A PUBLIC GOOD IS NOT A REVENUE GENERATOR, IT IS AN INVESTMENT IN OUR CIVILIZATION YOU DUMB FUCKS (USPS is and always has been a miracle and a bargain)

Gay boy

Me anytime someone speaks to me

My grandmothers voice inside my head: I sure wish they wouldn’t take the lords name in vain so much in this gay porn

So liberating to remind myself I don’t have to compare myself to anyone

Hey folks. Call your representative and demand they file articles of impeachment. Took me 37 seconds.

I’m practicing radical denial

One battle ever

After the White House complained about an unflattering photo of Karoline Leavitt, it was removed from AFP and Getty’s systems. This is the photo in question. Please do not repost it. 👇

The Supreme Court's "conversion therapy" decision today is indefensible on its own terms. A ton of medical regulations restrict speech on the basis of "viewpoint." Nobody thinks they're unconstitutional. This court just subjects pro-LGBTQ protections to special hostility. slate.com/news-and-pol...

Hey everyone! I don’t know if you knew, but I’m a conversion therapy survivor. No, it didn’t work and yes, it made me suicidal. Fuck SCOTUS.

Thank you! Medical therapy is not free speech. This SCOTUS blatant disregard for common sense interpretations of the Constitution will be the end of us if Dems don't expand the court.

Supreme Court legalized conversion therapy for kids because it’s “free speech” as if therapists don’t have tons of restriction on our speech already. For instance, I can’t tell a client to kill themselves - a comparison that’s pretty close to conversion therapy tbh

can't be reformed, can only be abolished.

Just sent a super bitchy email that was extremely deserved. I’m so over it

I don't think people fully appreciate how apocalyptic things are for US science. I haven't had any new funding since 2024, but I'm still ok since typical grants are for three years. This means next year I will be completely out of funding and will have to fire everyone in the lab. It's not great.

You really shouldn’t say that something's gay when you mean it's bad, it's insulting. What if every time something was bad, everybody said, “That’s so Governor who personally dismantles homeless encampments rather than addressing the housing crisis in their state”

Deeply troublesome that the majority of Americans seem to think the terms “justice” and “retribution” are essentially the same

You don't need to watch this. The trailer, the show, none of it. You are not a child anymore. There are other stories. Potter may have once been a well of inspiration or joy, but that well is poisoned by the venom of its creator who sees every engagement as endorsement of her war on trans people.

Feeling the strong urge to call out sick for the second half of the day

Who was your first porn crush? I, uh, was into twinks 🫣

I’m at ICE HQ

Notice how quiet Republicans have been about it this time? No authoritarian government has withstood a challenge when 3.5% of its population peacefully mobilized against it. For the US, that's 12 million people. The last #NoKings protest saw 7 million.

Chappell Roan Makes Amends By Kidnapping 11-Year-Old Fan https://theonion.com/chappell-roan-makes-amends-by-kidnapping-11-year-old-fan/

Time to sacrifice a virgin by making her dance to death 🥰

Cute boy! At the restaurant

The way I accidentally made it to 8pm with fewer that 300 calories in me today 😩

Over 15,000 civilian sites have been destroyed in Iran and 1444 people killed 30% of whom are children

Office? The!

One thing you will NEVER see me do is write a concise work email

Call it a purity test but if I find out you’re still a Harry Potter adult in the year of our lord 2026 I can’t help but respect you less

Do I have any real friends 🥺

Oscar winning film Weapons is craaaazy I’m gagging

There aren’t enough mental health providers anywhere- we have a national shortage And they aren’t subsidizing more folks going through school and training so there aren’t going to be more And this means communities are going to have to start/relearn to provide normative support wherever they can

Running on insomnia, 5.5 hours of sleep, and caffeine, what mistakes CAN’T I make at work? 💪🏻

If I’m muting someone it’s most likely because I adore them but they’re giving me an eating disorder. And if I unfollow it’s because they made me so insecure I got mad