Okay now I'm mildly worried for the Chicago pope.

Grocery trip is only allowed on lazy Saturday bc I'm getting snacks too.

The world has gone crazy.

“What are the best and worst Morrissey lyrics?”

What is the treatment for soul-death-weight envy? I'm repulsed by what I'm feeling.

I think my flirt muscle has atrophied.

Sorry to say that men I had flings with in my youth are dying, but at least they had one brief perfect memory. And they also knew me.

Taking the cease out of the ceasefire.

Now I have to tell the people who came over for an end of the world orgy to go home.

Shitty day but one of the foster dog influencers I follow's memoir is being turned into a TV show, so that's good.

My brothers in Christ, sit the fuck down and learn to pronounce capocollo.

Michael Stipe said I'd feel fine and I really really don't.

Another day, another jar of Nutella trending.

Today, my fellow founding worker-owners and I are launching a subscription drive to @feedravenous.bsky.social. We are a group of experienced and award-winning food journalists here to publish thoughtful writing and incisive reporting from around the food world. www.weareravenous.com

I have words for the person who decided the chicken was tuscan.

I wish our brains weren't so cooked and that history existed. New York City in the 70s was cheap as hell bc violent crime was sky high, infrastructure was falling apart, and no one wanted to live here. We immigrated to the Bronx in 1972. My mother didn't let us out of the house except for school.

Not too late to order. You have until May at least.

Too late to order these, but if you're in the Westchester area, get your butt over here for these. Two adults just fought over the last bite.

Happy "he is risen" joke day. (And I'm happy for you if he has.)

My kingdom for a slice of carrot cake, or why was Trader Joe's out of the sheet carrot cake that I was craving.

Bring back doing something for 10,000 hours before you can call yourself an expert.

it’s true that overall likes are way down on bluesky over the past year. however, if you look closely at the data, that’s mostly an anomaly resulting from the fact that your posts specifically have gotten worse and are dragging the vibe down.

Has anyone else been in a bad mood for about 15-16 months or so? No? Just me?

[reading a book in first person] i dont remember doing any of this

This image of home just came down from the Artemis II crew. Taken after their translunar injection burn, there are aurorae at top right and lower left, and zodiacal light at lower right. Credit: NASA/Reid Wiseman

Maybe he'll release the Epstein files to distract from the war.

I canceled something I shouldn't have just to feel something (guilt.)

Wow I hate that guy.

This is America (complimentary)

Meet me in the Shetland islands, at a place called Twatt. Don't go to the wrong Twatt - there's another in Orkney.

My presidential library is going to be a pizzeria that only sells pizza to people who have never said "pizza pie."

Be kind to your Italians today. The team did not qualify for the World Cup for the 3rd time in a row. We now officially have a curse (mediocrity.)

I need more nonsense in my life.

I have many good qualities but I'm fucking up again and I just wish I were better at this bullshit called living.

I just used gravity to pour 30 lbs out of a 50-lb bag of ice melt into containers to store, and I feel so smart that the universe will balance it with something just as dumb.

Agreed and please for the love of god do not reward this cash grab by one of the worst people in the world

I thought of making blondies 4 hours ago but somehow the ingredients are all on the counter and ths pan is still empty.

I went to an all-girls school a block from Jackie's apartment in the early 80s. A girl was always on lookout in our first floor biology lab. There were sightings. But one day, I was waiting to cross 5th Ave and there he was, 2 feet from me at the light, and I stopped breathing. Otherworldly beauty.

Maybe I should go to bed instead of having the snack that I'm craving.

My baseball allegiances: 1. Old Yankee Stadium should still be standing 2. Ice cream sundae in a helmet 3. Dusk games when the stadium starts to feel like it's floating in space 4. The Yankees, but I get it 5. The Red Sox suck and they always will. 6. The Astros too.

I love when I scratch Pignoli's little butt and he gets this face, "I don't know what you're doing back there but I like it."

I'm stuck in a waiting room with The View and these people are idiots but that's the way it goes. "Goodness will win." How? "The two party system has to work but I'm not political." (Cross talk)

All I want is one slice of pizza rustica. (One slice is all my arteries can handle.)

Name a bigger high than realizing your avocado is perfectly ripe when you're ready to eat it.

Also do not fuck with Scaachi Koul, who has more wit and talent in one of her baby hairs than that entire man.

I hate the "you can do better" discourse bc it's a way to rank people and that is not my thing.

Mom has the flu and my weekend plans are now to keep an eye on her, wait to see if I also have the flu, and order things.

lmao the eurovision mascot is so ugly I literally screamed at this reveal

I have no real nostalgia for the 90s. I was young, smart and hot, and made many mistakes. Some of them were fun. I learned nothing. I'm more interested in sliding doors moments. Alternate timelines.