My sister writes such scathingly funny negative reviews on Goodreads that my partner and I wait for them to drop so we can read them to each other and are always disappointed when she actually enjoys a book 😹

The skates I bought are too small and are so painful but NO ONE ON MARKETPLACE WILL RESPOND TO ME ABOUT SKATES IN MY SIZE

Y’all I got these Jelly Blox to play with during meetings and stuff and they’re so fun and satisfying! Just a rec for my fellow neurodivergent baddies 🖤

I want to show you all my cute earrings but why is it so mortifying to see let alone post a pic of your own ear

a lil mar #promosky! some of the things i yap about: ✨my pets (1 dog, 2 cats & 1 dog that crossed the rainbow bridge last month) ✨music - mayday parade, the band CAMINO, bon iver ✨traveling ✨family/wifey ✨friends/mooties ✨complaining about work ✨tv - bob’s burgers & the pitt here for the vibes 🫶🏼

sorry I love being petty

Kinda crazy how you can just make a bunch of plans and then all of a sudden you have a bunch of plans and then you’re like who made all these plans

My boss sent me this song but it’s kinda 🔥 tho lol youtu.be/T5rSwbuJuWc?...

Just a reminder! That there is nothing inherently valuable about being thin

Imagine counting on my to take notes for your meeting and I’m over here camera off trying on elf ears and taking selfies

I hate an “I’m free whenever” ass response cuz that’s just avoiding the actual effort it takes to schedule something and 9 times out of 10 when you suggest a time it’s “oh not then though” 🙄

Do it. Lean into your worst impulses. Maybe this is what love will feel like.

Gm just thinking bout this how is everyone doing today….

lend me some sugar, i am your neighbor!

I'll have 5-7 items available on a rolling basis (knitting hurts the wrist after a few hours lol). I've also created a form where you can upload proof of your donation, add your shipping address, and indicate which item you'd like to receive in exchange!

Just put the tiniest most expensive earrings in my formerly unused ear piercings. If they ever fall out it will financially ruin me. Also I’m in for a world of pain as they re-heal. Thank u for coming to my ted talk

Tbh in the past I’ve struggled with actually watching movies (sounds dumb but is true lol) and I barely started watching horror movies a few years ago so it’s exciting to have all these lists made by so many cool ppl!!

post you in another country ✨ Me in the most sick ass cemetery in Portugal with a CEMETERY CAT

My friend is so lucky she left our workplace before people started making bad AI pics of themselves

Okay after seeing all of your top horror movie posts I’m honestly not sure what’s a horror movie or not lol

No one told me BLAIR WALDORF was in I Love LA

Let us not forget your dildos and your dildon’ts

hey siri what are their intentions with me???

My friends and I decided to take turns dressing like each other and I think that’s pretty cute 🥰

Thought y’all would appreciate the Washington state DNR post

Brb, putting on cat ears so a baddie will smooch my stupid little face

My boss: I don’t read books Me: you don’t say

in life you will have your scooby doos and scobby donts

How funny would it be if I called in on 4/20 when I have a ton of meetings

lmao people so obsessed with OF and shutting it down kill me. where's that energy for pornhub, pookie? or are you only mad that these SWs (specifically femme presenting) are doing it with consent and getting paid for it?

I always wanna post song lyrics when I have them stuck in my head but I don’t want to come across them when I’m scrolling my own profile and get them stuck in my head again

All that suffering for what?? 3 mins of Hunter Schafer?

Unfortunately I’m watching Euphoria

Gorl dinner aka shark coochie part 3

you know that lady that said “before you leave the house look in the mirror and take one thing off” ? that lady named coco chanel ? she was a nazi,, so put more shit on actually

Just closed 357 tabs on my phone who knows what ancient knowledge was lost

I’m a machine that turns normal songs into songs about my cat

I need everyone in the new avatar call that a gaang bang

At a time when mass surveillance and autonomous weapons companies like Palantir are openly announcing their plans for violent world domination, it is crucial that our attempts at “big tech reform” don’t actually give them more power—ie via government mandated age verification/identity software

My junk journal pièce de résistance: a pic of my tiny pizza inside the pizza box from my tiny pizza

The family haul

I understand it’s just a cute lil quiz but for the record calico cats are NOT harmonious and sensitive, they are opinionated and cranky, which everyone told me *after* I adopted my cat !!

When the day off has a trip to the local record store and a local bakery 😏

Took my nails off last night and now I’m sad cuz I can’t use the clack clack to stim anymore ;(

Appreciating that NIN is one thing that can bring my mom and older siblings together lol

In case my tone isn’t clear when I post, this 😎 is the face I use when I’m plotting and this 😏 is the face I use when I’m scheming

Remembered I had free will and made myself an iced matcha instead of a hot one 😎

Hey so I have a y2k party later so I did these

The only biologically female trait is being able to make me laugh actually

We were watching Ethel Cain’s Coachella set last night and my partner asked me if she was trying to out-bayou Lana del Rey 😹😭