The rise of the lolcowsultant

You gotta pump those numbers up, those are rookie numbers

RIP #RalphTowner

For sale: baby shoes, never worn. Friggin baby has feet like a kangaroo.

Me standing in my underwear in front of the open pantry, housing store brand creamy peanut butter out of the jar with a serving spoon

A bunch of posts got locked on the cyberpunk subreddit because people kept comparing Night City to the contemporary United States

Buddy, what is happening right now is what any training theyre going to get does

I'm at the home depot fuckaas

if they did January 6 today, it'd be called "January 6-7." Thank you for reading. RIP Ashley Babbert

i just found out trump can't do all that stuff cuz it's illegal

You know who was great? Claudia Cardinale. Terrific actress, fine human being, never became a fascist. Also extraordinarily beautiful. She was a feminist and a UNESCO goodwill ambassador. She died earlier this year. Just remembering her today for no particular reason.

It must be weird being a kid taking Flintstones vitamins now without having any idea who the Flintstones are - just weirdly dressed vitamin trolls.

Fun fact: it's not as hard as you probably imagine to yank all the strings off a box guitar

coming back from a weekend at burning man to my HR job at a startup that uses AI to bury dangerous chemicals in suburban parks

Oh boy, I get to be a games journalist!* [*uncritically publish press releases for war crimes profiteers]

🐔💩🌊

Turns out when the hiring process selects out for smart applicants you get a whole lot of not smart outcomes

Fallout Season 2 starts tomorrow. In true insert credit fashion, we had to find out the answer to the big question on everyone's mind: What level was Lucy by the end of season 1? Thanks to the hard work of @iantothemax.bsky.social we now have the answer, just in time for her journey to New Vegas.

I like that when I joined bluesky it was a place for sickos to not be bothered by Nazis but now it has a reputation for being super libbed up so when I say something like "do you think Wolverine got regular boners or did it pop in and out like his claws" someone will stop by to say "VOTE!"

Me when it happens

Getting whooped in the numbers by Clint @lgr-yt.bsky.social reviewing a clearance rack rip-off CD ROM from the 1990s youtu.be/EXlqb3a4U4M?...

Microphones

I go to posts but right before I do octacon calls me on my codek "whoa, watch out. This website has really strict rules - you can get in a lot of trouble telling someone to kill themselves" "Trouble?? Otacon, you saw what they were posting right–" "I know. But the admins..." "Admins..."

JIMMY FALLON: [set and his suit looks like it’s from the 1970s for some reason] So you’re telling me the reason we are all sad is because of Volcano ghosts? That’s crazy. Haha. That’s nuts. Haha. L RON: [Grin like someone mashed chiclets into ground beef] That’s entirely correct Jim.

Skyrim is the Harry Pooter of video games. PLAY ANOTHER GAME

I think it's neat how now if I see a YouTube channel I've never seen before, covering content I'm interested in, I have to click through to the channel and check to see if they're posting an hour long video every other day, so I don't get tricked into watching clanker slop for a few minutes

What is this fascist, some kind of COMMIE?

He wears that hat now because he got tired of getting clowned for what his white barber was doing to his hair

NOW PLAYING: ⛤ 𝕯𝖊𝖒𝖔𝖓𝖘𝖈𝖍𝖔𝖔𝖑 ⛧ from @necrosoftgames.com ! Developer’s Summary: Demonschool is a new-style tactics RPG where motion equals action. Defeat big weirdos in between the human & demon worlds as Faye and her misfit companions, while navigating university life on a mysterious island. 👹😱

INSPIRING: do you have a gambling problem and read the news? this man figured out a way to take advantage of you, and he doesn't even have a college degree

ME: (shivering, stripped naked and tied to a chair) Drag queens have pretty privilege… CIA AGENT: Again. Do another. ME: Please, I can’t, I— CIA AGENT: (dousing me with a bucket of ice water) Another take! Hotter! ME: (sobbing) Dating someone who needs glasses is a predatory power imbalance…

Pearl Forrester @maryjopehl.bsky.social

one of the coolest things about ChatGPT is how you can actually just never use it. you can fill your whole entire life with simply not once using it. it's incredible.

Greebean casserole could vanish tomorrow and I'd never miss it once

every fucking year man

It is good, it's just a huge pain in the ass to make it good

elon installs a new feature that publicly displays the country where your app was installed and operates from people find out the most racist pro-US accounts are based in israel, india, bangladesh, etc US DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY TWITTER BASED IN ISRAEL elon pauses location feature

Patton Oswalt say no to an on camera chat challenge 2026 Seriously, creepy old Bill Maher's people call and you just show up to watch him get shitfaced so he can be even less funny? Do less.

Incredible headline.

whatever the Xai people did to make grok speak more positively about its owner seems to be backfiring

Remember when Eliot Spitzer had a clear runway to the white house and he was immediately wished into the cornfield for paying adults to fuck him?

Thank goodness we now have the option to report posts as misleading on the website where no one understands jokes

Raising Arizona has entered the chat

whoever selected the photos for this article deserves an award for photo selection, this is peak photo selection, unsurpassable perfection, all other photo selector people can just get their coats and go home because this selection will never be bettered

When Tingle and Navi aren't on screen everyone should be saying where's Tingle and Navi

Dems: Mamdani is too radical for our taste. Plus someone said he's antisemitic. And that name is scary to us! We need to keep him out. Dems, 1 week later: Look lots of people have tattoos like that Dems, 2 weeks later: Marjorie Taylor Greene, welcome to the Tent