Random fact that I learned from the episode of What Went Wrong on Halloween (the movie): the screenplays for Bad News Bears and The Thing were written by the same person, Bill Lancaster.

Whenever generational discourse comes up, there's an angel on one shoulder reminding me of all the things I love about being gen x and a devil on the other shoulder reminding me of every asshole I went to high school with and singing: youtu.be/XOsNsOhyG8I?...

Oh wait I have one more hot take... anyone still insisting that you have to throw trans people under the bus should be buried at Make-Out Creek (don't worry; it's just a name*)

My only hot take about yesterday's election results is you do NOT have to hand it to the @democrats.org. Yesterday was the American people rejecting Trump and not the result of anything the Democrats did. Fuck, how many of them couldn't even bring themselves to endorse Mamdani?

I always say never forget that a political will eventually let you down so I suppose being a Gunner is a better way to do that than having bodies buried in your yard (though it's close)

Sobering news for a lot of top Democrats, tonight, as they realize people would prefer they actually fucking do something.

@bvrlytweetmaker.bsky.social while Mr. Bungle is playing in the background

I took this pic to show how excited I am and then realize that my finger is reflected in the touch screen of my car such that it really looks like a dick

A++++++

Don't make me tap the sign

ICE agents are gonna wear their masks at half staff today in memory of Dick Cheney

Bo Butt Bovember

For all the curmudgeonly old white people who threaten to leave Illinois for Indiana or Florida or some other red haven, the only ones I know who have actually done it are retired (i.e. not paying taxes but using govt services—what will we ever do without them???!!!)

Whatever you say grandma lets get you back to your chair now

"We asked 3000 former NYC residents now living in New Jersey and Connecticut and over 1/3 said they would move back to NYC just so they can leave again if Mamdani is elected."

I remember somebody saying early in the playoffs that playoff baseball is like edging and last night reminded me that it is indeed like edging, only there's a 50% chance you'll eventually get to cum and a 50% chance you'll get kicked in the junk instead

I'm watching Jeopardy and thought "ooh that one contestant is pretty cute!" Then they get to the interview and it turns out she's only 18. On one hand I'm feeling a bit guilty for my initial thought but on the other hand I have a bright future with the Republican Party

Oh wait our UNDEFEATED Chicago Bulls play this evening. Do I dare tune in (and watch them finally lose I'm sure)?

Between last night's game seven and today's Bears game I think I'm ready for a break from sports (at least until tomorrow night when the Hawks play again)

My post-game analysis:

Okay, Tyrique....keep your head in the game here.

Ask any Bruins fan

As I was saying...

Well the good news is Caleb can absolutely march us down the field to win this game. The bad news is this is still a catastrophic failure either way

I miss Buffone

Seriously. Fire Richard Hightower into the sun.

More "special" teams from the Bears

Our prevent defense is absolute trash, which I suppose makes sense if our secondary is trash

woof what a garbage call

Joe Flacco’s wife is not amused.

lol at the dude who was busy celebrating and almost forgot to block Flacco before Edmunds pointed him out

You have got to throw that flag for horse-collar there. That should have 1000% been offsetting penalties. Ridiculous.

How did it take that long to call intentional grounding??????

The Bears' secondary is so bad they just had back-to-back pass interference calls and still let the receiver make the catch each time. Not sure I've ever seen that before

Caleb Williams is gonna have 300 yards passing on check-downs alone

Question for those of you who have more football smarts than me (which means pretty much all of you): I know the Bears' special teams has been glaringly awful so far today, but hasn't it been pretty bad all year? Putting Santos aside, it feels like the other team's return game is always better.

You will be shocked to learn that last year he added a Trump/Vance sign to his menagerie of Bengals cut-outs.

This game is giving me flashbacks to the time we beat the Bengals because they committed like 100 penalties. Afterward I tweeted "who wants to go to the Bengals house on 99th St. and throw yellow flags at it?" Somebody snitch-tagged me and the owner saw it and threatened to beat me up.

Thread. 🧵 No one should use Nazi Germany etc as an analogy, for the ICE kidnappings etc. When you know your history, you know this is all American.

Fuck Clayton Kershaw

If the Blue Jays end up losing because they let Will Smith beat them they'll have to change their name to the Toronto Chris Rocks

Approximately 27 minutes ago Fox dropped a Northwestern football promo in the middle of this historically epic World Series game. Nothing has been normal since

Miles Straw sounds like a small-time hustler in an Elmore Leonard story

that’s an all-timer for smoltz. time to go to bullpen for the FOX lead MLB booth.

IT’S A SIGN…THE PEE TAPE IS REAL!

"Touch 'em all, Vlad!" has a nice ring to it