Spray paint a plane and they'll detain you without trial and call you a terrorist. Kidnap a foreign head of state - and Keir Starmer will make it clear we've played no part in it but will wait for the scheduled press conference in a few hours before potentially condemning it

Walliams just popped up on this Martin Parr documentary, unrelatedly.

"I keep eating my feather pillow in my sleep. It's really starting to depress me." "Down in the dumps?" "I dunno. I haven't been yet".

Me, after Google Maps sends me up a dirt track.

Odd Book Review: 2010, by Frederic Carrel. Ranking of the races! A giant asteroid hitting the Earth! The greatest marriage proposal in all fiction! oddbooks.co.uk/oddbooks/2010

Pat Kelly, popping by with his message for the New Year. www.youtube.com/watch?v=an2k...

Scenes out of Hieronymus Bosch in Chepstow Tesco car park, lads. Avoid, particularly near the entry to Hell, which is rammed.

Tarkovsky's Carry On Screaming.

David Lean's Starship Troopers.

They gentrified the tinfoil hat

I just exported my LJ after reading this and, browsing through old posts, found a link to the "Accelerator Chair" which thanks to the wayback machine can be revived for your amusement. web.archive.org/web/20070224...

Wait, what?

Dog chewed up the TV remote earlier so I had to locate the power button. You may not know this, but on recent Sony Bravia models, it's just like finding the clitoris. Happy New Year, everybody!

#NowPlaying Free under tyranny.

I was in the aisle of a shop squatting down to scan the lowest shelves, when I heard a woman say "just shove him out of the way" an instruction immediately obeyed by her child.

Stood behind Morrissey in the queue for the tills in a record shop. No, I don't know what he bought.

DUNE IS BUSTIN' OUT ALL OVER

Ronald Duncan! 🧵 Duncan used to be mid-level famous but has faded, probably deservedly. In the early 70s he came to our school and read some of his poetry to a mixed group. I recall he read from "Man", an epic work of towering ambition, thrilling, preposterous or both. 1/5

I'd Rather be With You, by Bootsy's Rubber Band is forever associated with our late dog Netty, a three-legged German Shepherd. When Netty died my gf played it on repeat.

What's everyone's favourite Avatar quote? Mine is: "Avatar? Is the tar fresh? If you don't have a fresh tar I'll have some tartar. Ta-ta!" *exits*

While he drinks a glass of water in Buckingham Palace. The vent act of the century.

Tomorrow evening it’ll be my annual duty to vaguely shepherd the activity on the #duvetknowitschristmas hashtag and urge people to give small sums to charity. 7.30pm? Something like that?

"Immutable & Eternal: Using blockchain technology, once a film is added, it cannot be altered or removed, creating a permanent Akashic Record for the 7th Art." You won't find that in the YouTube Ts and Cs, will you? www.innervisionpictures.com/about-4

Horny Julia (Parton/Cohen): Now you can have your choice of men But I could never love again He's the only one for me, oh, Julia I had to have this talk with you My happiness depends on you Whatever you decide now, Horny Julia Horny Julia, Horny Julia Horny Julia, Horny Julia

The Bored Monkey Gland Club

I was only meeting Epstein to research the column I would finally write, many years later, called "Yada, Yada, Epstein, Schmepstein, Change The Record, Puhleease!"

As previously mentioned, for some reason I get spam emails for the excellently named Chuck Cocagne of Recent Additions. Today Asem has been in touch, offering to quote for cleaning my industrial kiln, which is kind, I think. www.linkedin.com/in/chuck-coc...

BIG RUPE SAYS COME BACK TO MYSPACE, LIBS

Elon's little serfs are quite literally begging journalists to come back because every publicly available source of data shows people have fled the platform and young people won't use it. They are literally begging regular people to come back. Don't do it! It is a website by and for actual Nazis!

RIP JOSEPH BYRD amazing musician with United States of America, the Field Hippies & solo. he was the guy who turned John Fahey onto indian music back when they were at ucla & did one of the weirdest xmas LPs ever. no firewall www.nytimes.com/2025/12/12/a...

Bley-Peacock Synthesizer Show - A Loss of Consciousness [USA, Jazz] (1971) Analog synthtastic Quaalude jazz https://redd.it/24i06g https://youtu.be/JnLNwLAlfDw

On prime there are charming documentaries about Incapacitants AND Renaldo and the Loaf, you hipster brainiacs.

The Ralston in Ralston Purina was taken from the pseudoscience of Ralstonism invented by Webster Edgerly. Thank god such cranks get no traction these days.

Stumbled on this EP cover on Tidal. You can almost smell it.

Your year in malware: how many times were you caught wanking on webcam? Click this *totally safe* link and find out!

ChatGPT cuts the crusts off my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I'm a big business boy.

ChatGPT: a baby can survive without food or water for 60 days

Bit late for Christmas. Buck up, people!

The NHS is under pressure to adopt Palantir software. Its founder openly despises the NHS. You can push back: use our tool to see if your local trust is using the software, then send an email to say no to Palantir https://goodlaw.social/658abc

What skill did you master that you will never, ever use again? My brother and I shared a toy rather like this, except it was mounted on its stand and you manipulated it using handles. Could almost do it in the dark, eventually.

"And the barman says, 'See this pub? I built it, with my own bare hands! But do they call me Jones the pub-builder? No'. And then he pulls a pint, and says, 'See how well I pull a pint? But do they call me Jones the pint-puller? No.' And, then, well, he says a third thing, and that's the punchline."

Attracting the ninnies like flies. Block, block, block.

Scientists now believe that the human brain--a magic goo for worrying--can also be used to do other things

Client: website needs to be easy to use for our customers Me: *uses AI to reveal the soul of GOD* Client: website needs to be easy to use for our customers Me: Open your mind to radical disruption at the cutting edge! Client: website, customers, please! Me: BUGS LAY BARE THE TRUE NATURE OF REALITY!

I treated myself to this for Bandcamp Friday. It's avant-ambient-skronk-jazz-pop-electronica, or thereabouts, and it's tremendous. Moving, mysterious and unabashedly weird. (And swathed in autotune, to further annoy the close-eared.) mondoj.bandcamp.com/album/the-he...

"This is a provincial shop for provincial people."