Sometimes I think about our legal system and just think "How the fuck did we get here?" Almost always, the obvious answer is "a combination of maniacal religious zealotry, indifference to human consequences, and gutter racism."

This is so far down the list, but how the hell do you type "we destroyed 100% of their military capacity" immediately followed by descriptions of their military capacity?

Back in 2001, the film Rat Race had rich people betting on absurd scenarios like "which maid can hang the longest on a curtain rod" or "who would throw up first on a turbulent plane." In hindsight, I wish they would have gone that way.

Oh no..... Now how will I know where I should vacation by clicking on stock pictures of desserts?

Do we all agree that (1) they had no idea Iran was going to control the strait and (2), they can't run escorts because they have no answer for Iran's mines and drone ships and don't want the visual of US Navy ship ablaze in the gulf?

"When I decided to rob the Burger King, I didn't plan for the possibility of the line cook throwing boiling oil from the French Fry station."

$120,500 a year to this twit. Let that sink in.

I have concluded way too many Genxers and Millennials played Sim City without ever taking off the pause time function.

I must say... I enjoyed the "What if the US President was deranged/maniacal" storylines a lot more before I was forced to try and survive it for real.

I figure we're about 3 years from Israel passing a law that officially declares Palestinians to be unpersons with no protection under the law. Supporters in America will immediately jump in to defend the move and insist it's only going to bring peace and stability to the region.

Pitch an unnecessary sequel: President Kong: Democracy on Skull Island.

The UN has the same level of power and respect as student congress in a speech and debate tournament.

This is the most bizarre, exonerative framing I've ever seen in a news report. This is how you start an article in somebody who was falsely convicted and declared innocent.

Al Jazeera reporting that Israel is imposing an information blackout on accurate reporting about Iran/Hezbollah missle strikes, going so far as arresting journalists accused of saying too much on air.

It actually really helps to conceptualize this in terms of dealing with a cult. Republicans who acquiesce to Trump are either in the cult or scared of those who are (either physically or for their access to power).

This is the exact same nonsense they used to pull to excuse Fox News being a Republican mouthpiece. "Oh Fox isn't right-wing. It just looks that way because all the other media is so far to the left." It was bullshit then. It's bullshit now. It will always be bullshit.

I'm in Ellsworth today for court. Gas prices jumped by about 20 cents in two hours and every station has a line of cars waiting. Thanks Trump (and the spineless Congress that continues to enable him)

It's almost as if the courts allowing (and approving) military abductions of foreign leaders so long as the government pinky-swore it was merely a law enforcement action might have some entirely foreseeable terrible consequences.

In Trump world, surrender is like consent. You know it's given when you decide it's time. Too dark?

Maternal: Freelance laborer and craftsman. Paternal: Longshoreman.

A friend asked what it's like being a public defender. I said some days I feel as if I took a position at the Orphan Eradication Factory but I get paid to try and stop them killing the orphans. No matter how good I am at my job, I work within a system built specifically so I can't possibly succeed.

Nothing motivates the masses to form a new democracy favorable to US interests like bombing their infrastructure to rubble and killing their entire family. That's why massive bombing campaigns have brought us to the utopia of alliances we live in today.... Hold on, I'm getting an update. Oh no.

Excellent thread here and I'll just add one extra thing: I have worked on a few clemency petitions for my clients and it's like pulling an impacted tooth. The entire world looks down on them and hates their guts. No amount of rehabilitation or repentance is enough. No works are sufficient /1

Excellent thread here and I'll just add one extra thing: I have worked on a few clemency petitions for my clients and it's like pulling an impacted tooth. The entire world looks down on them and hates their guts. No amount of rehabilitation or repentance is enough. No works are sufficient /1

I'm sorry, if you're going to make a big show about how you've got a Department of WAR helmed by a Secretary of WAR and staffed by WARfighters, it's totally inane to then claim that your massive bombing of a foreign country constitutes something other than a war.

Look it’s not a war and we have been at war since 1979 and it was defensive because otherwise they would have attacked us in an act of war that we are not in but have been in since 1979 and Netanyahu was going to start a war anyway that was actually started 47 years ago.

Just open oppression and discrimination without even a fig leaf of justification.

Boy was I wrong about this one......

We are so fucked.....

"They all laughed at me" I cackle, clutching my star charts and astrolabe. "They called me crazy..... But who's crazy now you derelict satellite humpers? WHO'S CRAZY NOW"

Congrats to Rob Schneider on the gig.

Republicans think everybody, including their own voters are idiots. That's the only explanation for putting this nonsense out there. "My buddy was going to attack this bloke at the bar, and I knew he'd get mad and cause harm to me, so we had to jump him." www.independent.co.uk/bulletin/new...

Forgive me some pettiness, but I'm gonna go ahead and take a quick victory lap for my "international law isn't real" position given the events.

Congestive heart failure.... Come on congestive heart failure.

Walked into the hair & makeup room at the Drew Carey show and there’s DT delicately arranging his coif It was like watching the construction of Disney hall First thing he said to me after repeating my name was “that’s good blood” He’s a eugenicist

Those three downed jets run around $90 million each. It cost $20 million a year to operate the food kitchens serving 816,000 people in Sudan.

Excellent idea. America removing leaders in the Middle East and replacing them with hand-picked lackeys has always turned out great for everybody.

Incredible how Trump's illegal and reckless attack on Iran is now blossoming into an unpredictable regional war that threatens global stability. It's like 40 years of warnings that a reckless attack on Iran would blossom into an unpredictable regional war that threatened global stability were true.

At a certain point you just cannot keep extending someone the benefit of the doubt. www.yahoo.com/news/article...

Does Zootopia count?

Jesus fucking Christ. I cannot wait to consign this entire administration to the garbage pail of history..... And prisons. Lots of full cells in prison.

Yeah. Our media's obsession with treating policing politics as a sporting event means no pundit is ever held accountable for their terrible analysis. Glen falling for lies and becoming a Trump propagandist is shrugged of like he predicted a good game for a QB who went on to throw 5 interceptions.

Also for putting together Lego sets.

1. They are the exact cowards we always knew them to be. 2. Remember when Republicans argued government coercion and jawboning were the worst things a politician could do? 3. Fuck everybody involved for actively seeking to harm children for no good reason. www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...

She wasn't put into power to be subtle.

Ah fuck. I'm already asking the universe for like 8 different heart attacks and now I need to hope for another stroke. *Sorry friends, my posts are probably going to be dark and hateful for a while

Leave trans people alone. We aren't doing anything to anyone. This is fucking bullshit.

::Stares into the middle distance smoking a cigarette::