Spent the last 2 days working on my taxes and little else, because I’m shit at keeping monthly records. An entire year’s worth of commissions and expenses calculated, hundreds of things looked up in my bank accounts, and hours putting it all into TurboTax. Went to bed at midnight, exhausted. (1/2)

First the White House went for Venezuela, because it wanted the monopoly on oil. Then it went for Greenland, because it wanted the monopoly on oil. Then it went for Iran, because it wanted the monopoly on oil. Then it went for the Vatican, because it wanted the monopoly on paedophiles.

> the emperor is at war with the pope what century is it

I genuinely believe that people don't appreciate just how much of all the bad vibes right now are still largely a COVID hangover. It was a profoundly traumatizing event for American society, on the order of the civil war or the great depression and we've largely decided to just pretend

He’s attacking the Pope. THE POPE. Look, I was raised Catholic and left the Church at least 15 years ago, but it’s time we poured a bucket of Holy Water over him and see if he melts. At the very least it might wash away some of the orange self tanner, so it’s definitely worth a go.

Average GOP Congressman: We err...uhhh...don't uh need uh...oversight of the DoD because uh...we trust the President to decide what's best Donald Trump: I AM JESUS CHRIST RETURNED TO EARTH THE POPE ISN'T MAGA AND HE'S WEAK ON NUCLEAR WEAPONS I AM GOING TO BUILD A HOTEL ON THE MOON

From new Hungarian Prime Minister Péter Magyar's acceptance speech tonight. This is the absolute BARE MINIMUM platform for any Democrat running for President in 2028.

Will always be one of my favorites ❤️

Lolol I’m such a Hobbit

The struggle is real #shortgirlproblems

For fuck’s sake, DC. It’s only April 4. Dial the heat down a notch 🥵

God I wish we had a president who wasn’t a moron

The fact that Trump is going to oral arguments to pressure the justices to acquiesce to his attempted nullification of a constitutional amendment and create a stateless class for the first time since the civil war, illustrates what is really at the core of the Trump project and it isn’t tariffs.

This. The court may even pair the release of the ruling in favor of birthright citizenship with the one gutting the Voting Rights Act, and the usual suspects will proclaim it’s a sign of moderation

wish SCOTUS would examine "a well regulated militia" with the granularity they are debating "domicile"

Raise your hand if you’ve ever: Switched to decaf, made a small pot of decaf, and before pouring yourself a cup, realized just how tired you are, poured the entire pot down the drain and made a medium pot of regular coffee

Igor Tudor at Spurs

Transgender people will soon be banned from teaching at any level in Kentucky. As a reminder, Germany did the same thing to Jewish teachers in 1933. But, it can't happen here. Because democracy and good people or something. transitics.substack.com/p/kentucky-b...

I'd put the percentage of mornings in recent weeks when my first thoughts could be categorised as Arsenal-related angst at ~70%. The remaining ~30% of mornings have been defined by anxiety over other, arguably more important things. So maybe I should be grateful for the relief Arsenal provides.

I don’t know if I’d say extraordinary, given the fact the red line catches fire so often that someone built a website to tell you whether or not it’s on fire. According to the website we’re currently at 2 days since the last incident. It is really clean and fast, though, so props for that.

I don’t know how many more times I can read “may do more damage than he’s already done”. He outdoes himself on a monthly basis. I’m so tired.

There are not enough words to fully express how much I hate the BW Parkway. It’s my nemesis. Took me 2 hours to get home from Baltimore.

The. Treble. Is. On.

Apparently they did 🙃

Do they need directions to our half of the pitch?

Come on you Gunners.

Doors are open here at Franklin Hall for the EFL Cup final, so come on down! #GoonersAtTheHall #VCC

I’m not nervous you’re nervous.

Holy shit that delivery from The Child was 🔥🔥🔥🔥

Calafiori proving he’s not just a pretty face once again 😍

Where does one post a job opening for a cup bearer? I would very much like another glass of wine but I don’t want to disturb my cats, who are on my lap.

Congress failed to pass the War Powers Resolution, leaving the door open for a prolonged war with Iran. Now Washington is already floating billions more in military spending. Democratic leadership needs to decide: are you funding this war, or will you oppose it at every turn?

Every time I am reminded of this dweeb’s existence, I roll my eyes so hard they basically get stuck inside my skull.

So far the war in Iran has cost an estimated $5.5 billion. That's roughly $1 billion per day. $41,666,667 per hour. $11,574 per second. People do not want this. They want a living wage. They want healthcare. They want to be able to afford a home. They want their basic needs met.

The fact that Lexus is the stoppage time sponsor and they have to say Lexus Stoppage Time every time is so weird to me. Like, just hearing “Lexus” doesn’t make me want to buy a Lexus. Now, if they were to say Oreo Stoppage Time is might be another story

I don’t need this stress while I’m this sick we need another goal. Pitter patter, boys

Come on you Gunners

Happy St Totteringham’s Day!!

Let it be known that Sir Iwobi of Hale End sealed St. Totteringham's Day on the First of March, in the Year of Our Lord 2026, the earliest this blessed day has been celebrated in the Premier League, and the Greatness of Arsenal covers the land, even beyond North London, which remains Red.

New — I spoke to eight trans people in Kansas about the new state law that invalidated their driver’s licenses overnight, what’s it’s like to live there right now, plus details of two DMV emails exclusively obtained by The Handbasket that shed light on the law’s chaotic and cruel rollout:

Weird they dragged in Hillary Clinton when there's another First Lady right there in the White House who actually knew Jeffrey Epstein.

I think we need to take a step back and acknowledge the absurdity of House Republicans targeting their Epstein investigation on HILLARY CLINTON (who says she never met him!) while ignoring DONALD TRUMP (who Epstein described as his best friend!) These are not serious people or good faith actors.

It’s been 44 years. They Might be Giants needs to get off the fence and decide if they’re giants or not.

During his first term he said he’s always wanted a Purple Heart, which was incredibly disrespectful to service members who have been wounded or killed in action.

I actually think the behavior of the Republicans in the audience has been more noteworthy than Trump’s speech itself. The braying, boorish jeers and yawps of a party fully given over to fascism.

They want to go back to before women and POC had the right to vote, because the majority of white men vote republican

I didn’t watch the SOTU, so I don’t know what he said, but I’m pretty sure this is all you need to know

Haven't seen anyone even mention him in a while and I swear | was doing just fine. Still too soon

NEW: Judge Aileen Cannon permanently forbids the Department of Justice from releasing Volume II of Jack Smith's report on his prosecution of Trump. Also bars DOJ from sharing "any information or conclusions" from the volume. A sweeping, perpetual gag order. storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...

They’re getting butchered and they earned every bit of it. These comments are giving me life rn