"Oh Gawd, my wife's gonna kill me!"

Was literally just sitting in the gym sauna and a lad of around 24 said, 'I'm sweating like Gary Glitter in a nursery.' Had to applaud such a retro reference from one so young.

My granddad told me it was God farting after eating mushy peas. I still believe that is the case.

I hope all those who complained about the heatwave are happy now it's bastard freezing again.

I've never watched Breaking Bad because Bryan Cranston will always be Hal Wilkerson to me.

Oh, fuck off!

Harsh, but I can see why it was given.

Senegal seem to have forgotten how to play football.

What the actual fuck was going on in that Senegalese defence then?

Imagine thinking an immobile lump of a centre forward is the answer.

Belgium deserve to lose because their manager is bald-denying wanker.

One of my favourite paintings is “The Garden of Unclaimed Dishwashers” by Anonymous Bosch.

“He’s got no right to shoot from there”, says Alan Shearer. In fact, he has every right. It is well within both the rules of the game, international humanitarian law, and all principles of freedom.

Jammy bastards. And I say that as an English man.

Makes no difference, we won't beat Mexico if we get through.

Fuck me, I'm agreeing with Rooney about the penalty. Wonders never cease.

Ref got that spot on.

Madueke is shite. He's not the only one in this team. Tuchel should be sacked at half time for this shambles.

This is hilariously bad. From boredom under Southgate to bedlam under Tuchel.

HYDRATION BREAK

If only there were English right backs available 🤔

Oops!

They do this shit for clicks, but the look of regret in her eyes as she tastes it in the second part makes it worth watching.

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France are a joy to watch. Can't see anyone other than them winning the World Cup.

That deserved a goal by Olise. Tremendous skill.

companies on july 1st

Everyone banned from a pub because of Humphrey Smith's archaic rules should go to the funeral, film it on their smartphones and shout "cunt" as loud as they can.

I'm finding the orange and white kits of these two teams aesthetically pleasing.

What a cunt. US security chief 'danced happy dance' after Iran exit - www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba...

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DRAMA! UNBELIEVABLE.

Casemeiro once again proving how shit he is.

Moja unsuccessful on her eggs but happy to meet our rescue kitten @carolineartist.bsky.social

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And they say modern footballers are spoilt

Why has Trump stayed away from the World Cup? Because his fragile ego won't take being booed by the rest of the world. - www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba...

Bumface in picture number four.

A few rumbles of thunder in the distance. If it does start pissing down I'm going to stand in the garden. I'll take my chances with the lightning.

Who remembers when Ecuador's manager got twatted in the face by a bird when riding a roller coaster?

Music albums by television presenters (Nick Knowles, Alexander Armstrong and the like) are psyops by the Russian government.

I keep expecting the announcer to shout Hi-De-Hi when that chime rings out.

There are few things more needy & tragic than minor celebrities who respond to any interaction on Twitter, Bluesky, etc. by "Quote-Posting" their reply. The desperation to maximise visibility of their responses utterly trumps any inclination to engage politely in a conversation.

Favourite Brazil XI (2024) Nimmo Gilberto Sullivan Martin Clunez Vimto Brandreth Artur Negus Alberto Balsam Noledmonds Roberto Carol Gees Junior Senior Junior (Jr) Haiho Silva

Oops! That wasn't very good from McKenna.

I don't know which is worse, the hydration breaks or the music they play during them. It's making me wish adverts were shown instead.