The self and the cyberself in quiet introspection

Unclear Where Girlfriend Keeps Making All These Friends https://theonion.com/unclear-where-girlfriend-keeps-making-all-these-friends/

astronauts sometimes describe a transcendent feeling of connection with all human beings when viewing the earth from space, an effect previously only achievable by taking a little edible and grilling hot dogs in the sunshine

He is risen

It’s been over a month since the last Family Function and I’m still thinking about how my cousin asked me “do you ever think about how our moms’ anxieties shaped who we are as people?” and I said “haha, what?” and I really have to remember this for therapy tomorrow

Preparing for Easter by reflecting on the Elizabeth Hurley tweet

When I say I am actually crying at this

🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦

I Can’t Believe It’s Not Pollen! (it’s covid)

My sweet friend took this pic of the girls at the brewery today and I’m literally ill 🥲

STEPHEN MILLER: so you've gone through all of these files and made sure there's nothing incriminatory about Trump or his friends and associates, right KASH PATEL: *standing in line at berghain dressed like the Ikea monkey* oh yeah definitely

I took this pic of Crou last night and I keep looking at it and tearing up because how is she even real? I am so lucky to be her möther ❤️

Gimme the beef, boys and free my soul I wanna put beef In my eating hole and drift away...

Sometimes, in the quiet of the night, I still think about the announcement that the Metaverse was adding legs

anybody else just immediately feel calmer when they get put back in their crate

still true btw if you even care

listening to divorced dad rock again

lots of men will read this and think “aww she’s talking about me 🥰🥰🥰” no i am not

First morning at the new gym after mine closed and, with at least 40 better options, at 7:10am, my GPS decided to take me through the unofficial high school drop-off line otw home 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 I will be at work by 8:45 am on March 19, 2027

A beautiful afternoon in the backyard with my Cashew 💓

My work bracket with Florida winning is currently in 69th place, hell yeah brother

Getting sunburned in March bc my car window is down is real peak Florida-ass shit

Whatever happened basketball-wise while I was at the bar last night absolutely fucked 2/3 of my brackets 💀

(be)heading to the Halloween bar 👻

Sunny and 75° and the Friday beers are calling to me like sirens to a sailor

everyone's so insane right now i don't even know if declaring a big beer friday would help

“He wants to see, he’s learning how to do tradesman stuff” 😭

The Office Drama that has befallen into my workplace this week is far too on the nose to be included as the plot of a sitcom, and yet is TANKING the vibe and making everyone miserable 😃 I am having a beer about it

Every year I get super aggressive about my brackets despite doing almost no research and compiling them last minute based solely on vibes and reading one article 🤗

Waking up every day like

Tummy in absolute shambles after 42 beers and the most fucked up quesadilla that it’s possible to build at Wawa at 12:15am

SOMEONE IS CLIPPING THEIR NAILS IN THE OFFICE AGAIN

Today is Friday the 13th, which is funny because I tripped on my flowy pants and fell down half a staircase at work *yesterday* (I am, shockingly, completely fine aside from minor soreness and a major blow to my ego)

Laughing, the courthouse security guard pulls my purse out of the scanner and says “… do you have an eyelash curler in here??”

Down bad cryin at the Comptroller’s Office

Finding out that a stranger with whom I briefly interacted later described me as “kind of redhead, kind of blonde” feels like a personal attack because what do you MEAN “kind of redhead”??? It’s RED god damnit

It’s 5pm on Nana’s 89th bday weekend and we’ve been through 13 bottles of champagne

My aunt just asked me “what are you doing to get these biceps???” so I’ll be riding this high for 6-8mos

I am rapid cycling between “it is so over” and “we are so back” at a speed that might impact the earth’s rotation on its axis

pretty much every time I feel the need to remind someone they are being impatient I think of this

On Saturday at a brewery, during a particularly stressful food truck setup, we heard a man yell “I’m not stupid, I’m from Jersey!” and I am honestly still thinking about it @phelca.bsky.social

Announcing a 2nd season of Heated Rivalry already?

Feels like today’s purple category on Connections was actually yellow for women 🙃

are you fuckin kidding me

Looking forward to seeing my boss’s time entry for the time I spent crying in her office this morning “.2 hr - conferring w/ Carly re: mental breakdown; providing tissues re: same”

These popped up on my photo memories today 😂😂😂 Cc- @carlysintothat.bsky.social

how we got here

I am once again being disrespected by The Weasel

*NYT Spelling Bee spoilers ahead* . . . On February 13th, we can make all kinds of festive words such as DULL, LONE, UNLOVED, DELUDED, and DELULU 😃 thanks 😃