I can’t believe Byron Allen and the weather channel came up and nobody remembered my always relevant “tropical storms and weather” theme song! @nevernotfunny.com

“I think it’s time to fall on your sword, Samurai” is my exact response to Elon’s money can’t buy happiness tweet

Is it insane that there isn’t a “fist pump” emoji? I just went to use it like I do that every day and am having Mandela effect. Fist pump “success kid” baby was one of our most pioneering internet memes! This is a glaring blind spot I will not accept.

As a gender fluid trans queer I feel okay admitting that I think drag queens with recording careers are usually very bad musicians and are only doing it because rupaul taught them it’s another revenue stream. Obviously not Trixie. I’m sure there’s other exceptions, but I said what I said.

I’m so convinced this was someone else’s bit comedy nerds pls help me - and no I’m not thinking about the whole movie Pineapple Express

When they were talking about the porno remake of Pluribus @lilyyily.bsky.social said “Bluri-puss” and no one in the room seems to have heard it but just for what it’s worth that wordplay sent me

I am entirely disillusioned to discover that Carl Tart has never listened to Eat Pray Dunk @cbbworld.bsky.social

I am mostly a platinum member so that I can have an exact visual on whatever sleeveless tee, age inappropriate hat or dental garb Jimmy happens to be making fun of at the time @nevernotfunny.com @jimmypardo.com @eliothochberg.bsky.social @mynameisgaron.bsky.social @mattbelknap.bsky.social

JK Rowling not being in the Epstein files is very strangely disappointing

I did NOT like the show Big Bang theory, however I did find Kaley Cuoco entirely unlikeable on her episode of Comedy Bang Bang.

They have manipulated you into thinking talking about it on the internet is equivalent to doing something about it.

Hey! My small indie record label startup needs help getting across the finish line with our gofundme! This effort frees artists from streaming services by making them CDs and Tapes to sell on the merch booth!!! One of our artists made $75 the other day because of our support. #gofundme #plshelp

Googled open road Stetson, I gotta say Eliot could definitely pull this off! It’s the California cowboy hat. It’s like when John Mayer did those country albums! It’s like a Mumford and sons stomp-clap-hey cowboy hat! I’m making it sound terrible but in earnest i like it! @eliothochberg.bsky.social

Look at this guy blaming his farts on his fucking car

With The Neigborhood Listen and Threedom both on hold, CBB world has never felt more primed and ready for a Kushtopia pod! @cbbworld.bsky.social

Crazy that the controversial Scott / Jason pillow fiasco was over 6 years ago, what even is time? @scottaukerman.bsky.social @cbbworld.bsky.social

He is intentionally escalating so that he can declare martial law.

I am so SHOCKED and ANGRY and I am going on my PHONE about it!!!

Your country needs to stop colouring within the lines. A one day outing is not a general strike it’s a picnic. You need sustained pressure until they feel it. You need to organize and prepare to fight hard. But you’re a country of fat lazy narcissists. The rest of the world has no faith in you.

I think the problem is so many of you still believe America ever was great. The pilgrims weren’t victims of religious persecution, they just weren’t free to persecute people for not aligning with strict Calvinism. The Nazis learned genocide tactics from USA. You’ve been the villain all along.

Seeing people STILL shocked or outraged in a way that implies anything can be surprising anymore is exhausting to me. USA as a country is somehow stuck in the “I can’t believe this is happening” phase while it’s been happening for a long fucking time. You all look stupid as if this isn’t normal.

I’m sad when people die but America has an American problem and isn’t doing one fucking thing about it, and I’m sick of hearing about it. Overthrow your government. Form militias. Burn down the White House. One day protests with paper signs isn’t working and I Canadian am not coming to save you.

It used to just be the Super Bowl when America as a country made it impossible to enjoy being online. Now it’s just every fucking day.

I want you to know that I BLURT LAUGHED at your “what does the fox say” joke - which no one in the room noticed aside from Garon who clearly just misunderstood, it just before the throw to break on the Alison Rosen episode @eliothochberg.bsky.social

shout out Shaboozey

garon is canceled forever

If there was a trophy for audible laughter in the background of podcasts it would have to be called the Paul F Tompkins award otherwise we’d have to give it to him every year. Who would you nominate for the PFT award? I’d pick Dan Lippert! @cbbworld.bsky.social @pftompkins.bsky.social

@scottaukerman.bsky.social @cbbworld.bsky.social

I’m so glad someone has finally spoken out. STOP the Ninjogyny! #stoptheninjogyny @cbbworld.bsky.social @scottaukerman.bsky.social @shaundiston.bsky.social

Some of the best music of all time are TV themes from the 70s

Star Trek: heated rivalry A fanfic about a passionate romance between Miles O’Brien and doctor Bashir taking place on the squash court AND in the locker room @cbbworld.bsky.social

Does the Hollywood sign sound just like Sebastian Maniscalco is it just me? @cbbworld.bsky.social

I feel like letting every president of my lifetime get away with Unlimited War Crimes was a serious mistake

Not to be this nerd but Rings of Power is NOT lotr canon. Idk why I feel the need to announce this, because as previously stated, I am not this type of nerd.

Being mad at Wayne Brady for maligning the rabbits in watership down but not Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman Al Saud is something which happened to me and possibly even someone else in the world last year, and then again this year. @cbbworld.bsky.social

The more like the word HOST your name sounds the more likely you are to have a successful career in hosting: Jeff Probst. Colin Jost.

The fact that Anthony Rapp DEFINITELY has more money than Kevin Spacey right now is a small victory I repeatedly return to when the world feels dark and hopeless.

Oh no! My local favourite cafe has very recently become a BEEP HOUSE 😭😭😭 @scottaukerman.bsky.social @cbbworld.bsky.social

I really hope Gordon Ramsay wins the Michelin peace prize this year

Despite Burnt and Joan’s incredulity, the moment Doug said “carrots and celery” I knew he was making nuclear explosion noises. It’s really a no brainer honestly. @cbbworld.bsky.social @brettmorris.bsky.social

Someone tell Epson the only reason we need a new printer is because the current one I’m using illegally won’t accept third party ink, and I’m STILL gonna replace it with an Epson product (cartridge free version) - so they should HELP ME PAY FOR IT #epson #FUCKEPSON

Hey! My small indie record label startup needs help getting across the finish line with our gofundme! This effort frees artists from streaming services by making them CDs and Tapes to sell on the merch booth!!! One of our artists made $75 the other day because of our support. #gofundme #plshelp

PLEASE HELP ME SUPPORT SMALL ARTISTS If my small indie record label can fundraise enough for a new printer it will enable me to prop up a handful of local artists!!! I know there’s a million billion better causes in this world, but this art keeps me alive. Help me share it!

OMG! PFT as RFK on CBB? LOL!!! @cbbworld.bsky.social @pftompkins.bsky.social

BRAXTON IS MY SON

this is not behavior becoming of a FIFA Peace Prize recipient.

“I’m just like Paul McCartney” would be an hilarious clip for the intro music (47:22 is rhe timestamp) @eliothochberg.bsky.social

Hey!!! Do you want to support small artists this holiday season? Pls help our indie record label get off the ground by supporting our printer campaign!!!! Artists are starving, struggling and being replaced. One printer will help me support a handful of them. Cmon bluesky I know you can do this!

Who gives a fuck about Christmas? Well sometimes me! Pls donate to our record label help us get off the ground!!!!

Drugley’s. Drugs awful, and it drugs! #getsickdodrugs #howisthislegal