Takes a special kind of leadership to somehow break a perfectly functioning reflecting pool

Due to his love of stop motion and his deep exploration of hospitality as a theme in his work, I believe Wes Anderson is the only choice to direct “Monster Mash: The Movie”

The idea of saying “You couldn’t make ‘The Office’ today!” when you can barely make ANYTHING new today because ‘The Office’ is the only thing currently airing on Comedy Central. There’s a separate price tier in Peacock for just this show you couldn’t make today!

RIP David Hockney

It pays to do a visual spellcheck before sending emails, because I nearly offered my services "pro bobo"

not getting much sleep because I am often up late crafting memes designed to upset my enemies, encouraging them to make tactical blunders as they undertake their villainous endeavors.

are you just going to do this for every generation

Gorilla Playing Saxophone with Balloons has dropped out of the White House concert

Enjoy a baby groundhog snuffling in the grass

still writing "2025" on all my checks

incredible

I'm gonna party with goblin wolf

Bless up the man by purchasing your new favorite T shirt or perhaps hundreds of stickers. www.teepublic.com/user/kthorje...

Pounding Trader Joe’s snacks to replenish my HP and Mana

Birdwatching is great because you can stare out your windows with binoculars and mutter stuff like “he’s a beauty…” or “get a load of that fella!” to create hilarious misunderstandings with your roommates and/or nosey landlord.

“Oregon Trail” imprinted in me that life is ultimately a game of surviving long enough until you can settle down in Portland.

Are we sure this is AI? Did you ever think maybe some poor podcaster was surprised and subsequently strangled by Frankenstein?

guys will say "I know a place" and it's MacGuffins in the AMC Americana

I love that the Director of the FBI believes he’s going to find out he’s been fired from a job the same way a 2010s blogger would.

It's great being old because you'll suddenly think of a day on a high school summer job that you thought was the worst day of your life and you'll just chuckle at how far low in the rankings it's fallen since.

So, tech CEOs invented machines that don't know what they are talking about, cannot perform any physical labor, and have no inner life whatsoever... and that machine is replacing everyone else besides them?

TIRED: “I’m dying.” WIRED: “I’m working on an exciting new project with Nicole Kidman attached.”

I HAVE BECOME THE LASAGNA JON

I have some new AirPods and they have great noise cancelling, except for when there is a really loud sharp noise nearby like a hammer dropping on concrete, which they bizarrely isolate and amplify for what I call “Auto Deafen Mode”

Saw "Michael Clayton" last night. Makes a great double-feature with "The Informant!" if you love Steven Soderbergh- produced corporate thrillers where a man has a mental breakdown taking on the agricultural industry.

News used to be better

these days famous people are weird lookin’

made

🎶 Moneymogging Savingsmaxxing When you shop Menards! 🎶

From Roanoke VA

This is only funny if you’re a real F Plus head, but I read this in @montrith.bsky.social ‘s voice

I thought this was just a weird flub where the audience is primed to cheer at anything, but then they cheer after the second attempt. They’re so completely fucked for this election

lemme get uhhhhhhhhh

The Jetsons lied to us

“I can’t wait to watch that stupid dork go to school for 10 years again but on a premium streamer!” —the terrible nerds who ruin everything

This “artist” uses the astronomical profits from the “art” to actively ruin other people’s lives around the world. Is there room in your nuanced argument for drawing a fucking line about caring about the well-being of vulnerable people?

I hope when he goes they entomb the rest of them in there so they can all continue serving him in immense suffering in a parallel afterlife

But Black Dynamite, I consume petroleum-based products and services!

me, to myself, in the middle of every project that I take upon myself to accomplish: www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXZ-...

Being a famous actor seems like a hard life. If you want to eat a double-double with fries, first you have to win a damn oscar. Anonymity is truly a luxury.

I have no idea why I find it so funny, but this is one of the funniest typos I've ever seen. Been laughing here like an idiot by myself just looking at it.

Instead of attempting to navigate the Strait of Hormuz, why not have all the items just get delivered to their final destination?

Say what you will about Kristi Noem, but during her short and cruel tenure, she almost turned the Dept of Homeland Security into the television network from “The Running Man”

All You Can Eat (mandatory)

The Greatest Satan, okay?