Two women trained as first responders were abducted by three ICE agents. One of the agents starts seizing. The other two don’t know what to do. The women jump into action and save the agent’s life, only to be re-handcuffed and processed. www.startribune.com/detained-by-...

1600 Pennsylvania Ave

seen at 38th & Hiawatha this morning

Everyone bullied JD Vance into knocking up his wife because of all of the rumors about him and Erika Kirk.

Checking the news every morning: Worst case Best case

The blood of these people are on the hands of ICE and the federal government. ICE must be destroyed.

The Nobel Peace Prize becoming so prestigious that wars are fought over a head of state coveting it is some real monkey paw stuff for Alfred Nobel.

Moving has me craving physical media again. End downloads. End streaming. Give me CDs and tapes.

ICE seems to get completely flummoxed when they’re being yelled at by white men over 35. They kind of put their heads down and shuffle their feet. It’s like their kryptonite.

If you have any observation skills and interact with the public enough, you’ll become militantly against open toed shoes.

Scott Adam’s died the way he lived: As a cancer.

“True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.” — Kurt Vonnegut

The Milk time baby (praise be unto him), is not a god to be mocked.

Bullying the missus into listening to Japanese Jazz albums.

WH sources say Venezuela's opposition leader committed the "ultimate sin": She accepted the Nobel Peace prize. “If she had turned it down and said, ‘I can’t accept it because it’s Donald Trump’s,’ she’d be the president of Venezuela today,” one said. www.washingtonpost.com/national-sec...

billions of dollars for unprovoked foreign wars, not one cent to force the Bloodhound Gang to reunite put out a new album

Trump is doing a press conference, where he criticized… Jimmy Carter?

Italians really knocked out of the park with mortadella.

The noise was disturbing and I couldn't find Irving. It was like two stations on at the same time And then I hid your car keys, and I made black coffee and I dumped out the rest of the rum. Fuck 2025 and 2026 as well.

New year, new me. I’m just worse.

It's sad to know that we are not alone. And it's sad to know there's no honest way out.

I’ve also taken too many edibles and had a panic attack on the metro after a Ricky Iglesias concert.

This is how you do it folks

A quiet room for the overwhelmed.

“Are you suggesting we break the law?” “Yes.”

Me, drunk as shit, screaming over the touch tunes playing “Jerry Was a Race Car Driver” by Primus for the 8th time that night: So anyways, Alan Tudyk and I went to the same junior college for acting.

I leave my bed unmade; I like to see the exact moment I gave up bliss for responsibility.

When we walk out in the sunlight we tell everyone we know it hurts our eyes. When the real reason we don't like it is that it makes us wonder if we're dying.

part of what I like about Mamdani is his admission that housing affordability is a more complex problem than either building more housing or expanding rent control. You need to do both in order to protect the most vulnerable now and improve the problem long term.

hey guys, bolsonaro is currently in prison 🥰

The most unrealistic thing about Parks and Rec is that everybody in Ron Swanson‘s orbit drinks Lagavulin 16 without a reaction. It’s like drinking a campfire.

I vanish into the dark, And rise above my station.

I’m watching the new documentary about Marines on Netflix, and in the beginning they are tattooing each other with, what I assume is, an Amazon machine. I miss the clowns. Not the circus.

“So, in the interests of survival, they trained themselves to be agreeing machines instead of thinking machines. All their minds had to do was discover what other people were thinking, and then they thought that, too.” -Kurt Vonnegut

I wish people would stop asking me to do my job so I can listen to this podcast about Peter Thiel’s thoughts on the antichrist.

idea for an alternate history show: British imperialism never changed or fell. the East India Company remains mighty today. they created the first powerful processed opiates and use them to maintain control over their far flung colonies title: The Sun Never Percocets on the British Empire

Bullying my friends into listening to French revolutionary songs.

I’m sorry Hell’s Kitchen and Gordon Ramsay; I’m sure his chicken is good, but you can’t tell me THIS vanilla looking dude is the go-to fried chicken expert.

Today, the White House Press Secretary told the country that this ridiculous damn ballroom is “the president’s main priority”…not reopening the government, not lowering the cost of groceries, not lowering the cost of housing, not lowering the cost of healthcare….building a ballroom

J.D. Vance says it's OK to joke about gas chambers, rape, and "watermelon people", but if you quote Charlie Kirk you'll get your VISA revoked

Fuck Christopher Columbus all day and every day. Forever.

Please remember that the disgust people have over Christopher Columbus is not based on some modern, 21st century “woke” ideology, but rather on contemporaneous accounts of atrocities that make many modern genocides appear quaint in comparison. Below, are the accounts of Bartlomé de las Casas.

FUCK ICE FUCK THE IDF FUCK THE YANKEES