Found a bougie bassinet for cheap on Craigslist and asked the guy for the pickup address. He said “I can send you the address when you’re on your way if that works.“ Motherfucker, on my way WHERE???

I never knew how to smile in photos until I read this blog from Dan McQuade (RIP) about John Madden (RIP) and how a photographer taught him to smile by saying “TESTING.” I’ve been doing this for four years now and frankly have been smilemogging my friends and relatives defector.com/john-madden-...

Are the government Twitter accounts speaking Latin today can someone check in

the time has come

Prayers up for my boy Eugene Mirman www.tmz.com/2026/04/01/e...

Gary Larson bodied by Twitch

My wife’s boyfriend is associating with known antisemite Hasan Piker. Wait until she hears about this…

Seeing a job you like and discovering it’s only on these fake ass Temu job boards is so infuriating man

Great news everyone, the kids are playing edgelord humor flash games again. They’re going to be all right! www.yahoo.com/news/videos/...

gooooooodness me

sitting in traffic when a smart beautiful woman, w/an amazing personality, walks close by—about 5ft away. i lock my car doors out of respect

@sheilkapadia.bsky.social @zberm.bsky.social whooping in my kitchen at the mention of Walter Thurmond III

your man is watching “Baseball” on “Netflix” while I’m enjoying the triumphant return of Joel Embiid to the hallowed hardwood of the XFinity Mobile Arena. Don’t compare us.

2 weeks late pop culture take: the last episode of Neighbors was amazing

Hey y’all!!! @raeforla.com is only 15k from unlocking matching funds!!! Wanna help get a REAL progressive and dem socialist elected to mayor? Come help us! City of LA friends get us closer to getting 6-to-1 matching donations! secure.actblue.com/donate/rae-h...

Holy FUCK I’ve never listened to this guy talk. Oh my god. It’s like listening to a homework assignment on 1.8x speed to get through it

This view that Christians are in a spiritual war against Muslims and “Marxists” is the prevailing wisdom of not only 90% of American billionaires but probably half the country as well. It’s totally normalized even though it’s a deranged racist fantasy.

we’re all trying to find the guy who did this and give him a spanking

They’re using Sheldon Brown for evil!!! This offends me viscerally. Though I have to point out, Eagles lost that game dickheads!!!

So now Hawk Tuah, Wolf Blitzer, Mare of Easttown, and SpongeBob can all be in one Rick and Morty episode together? I’m not seeing the problem.

Republican excellence ❤️ 🐘 🇺🇸

I know Partizan Belgrade fans are SICK watching this from Cam Payne tonight. They absolutely have to fire General Manager Žarko Paspalj for this blunder.

schizo twitter way ahead of bluesky on this

Caitlin just turned on Hereditary then walked away during the decapitation to knead dough

not a regime change war but we kill everyone in the government and get to choose who leads the country 👍

One big problem with bluesky is that woahhvickyyy isn’t on here

So crazy being exposed to this Simpsons joke as a child and thinking “I wonder what this means, I thought the Democrats are good?” and the joke slowly being revealed to you as you age. Punchlines keep coming!

most Victorian lyric of all time?

I don’t give a shit about this guy but if you’re running for senate and are active on Twitter you probably should be screening the individuals you retweet for being open white nationalists. Especially if you have a Nazi tattoo! How many strikes am I supposed to give him lol

They’re forcing regime change in Iran so that the NFL can play an international game there

my job just had a big week of in person meetings and one of the main sticking points was how we need to get all our files and shit in one place because they’re split between Teams, SharePoint, and OneDrive in ways that should be impossible considering they’re the SAME FUCKING THING

For the new interested followers: This is somewhat of an unintentional spiritual successor to I Just Watched A Video and mandatory viewing in the Cupps Extended Universe youtu.be/YWYaBeqZMkY?...

THE DAN CUPPS ERA HAS BEGUN !!!! He is a pure comedic genius. Works with Tim Heidecker and other alt comedy gods but he’s too humble to demand the vitality he deserves.

Was reminiscing about how Ed Rendell would appear on Eagles Postgame live every week while he was the active Governor of Pennsylvania (the 5th largest state in the country) and came across a McQuade article from 2015 about it. Read this paragraph and almost shed a tear

It’s all being done in your name if you live in the USA.

In case you haven’t been keeping up with Scott Adams since he died (understandable), he’s an AI now who still puts out a daily podcast. His family is trying to sue to get the AI to stop podcasting but the living Scott gave “explicit permission” on the record www.businessinsider.com/scott-adams-...

There are still internment camps standing you can go visit. The one in Manzanar in California is really striking. It’s completely comprised of bare-bones log cabins where they crammed 100,000 people- American citizens- after forcing them out their communities. Sadly relevant today in a lot of ways.

It should be said that the bagels are bad too 🙏

New York Times Opinion page in two weeks: The Online Obsession Over the Underground Cloning Chamber at Jeffrey Epstein’s Zoro Ranch is Misguided Subhead: Take It From Me - And My Clone By David Brooks

We’re naming our daughter Clavicular ❤️ yes it’s unisex

no big deal for RFK Jr.

US POLITICIANS: IF YOU TRY THIS MOVE I AM GOING TO BECOME LUIGI MANGIONE Thank you for your attention on this matter.

God forbid someone be a gentleman online

Everyone vants to know what de odds are….. vell, here it is

Got it in my head that this sounds like Melania Trump and now I can’t stop reading it in her voice

Woke 2 shaming Trump into deleting a racist Truth Social post is the first missile hitting the Independence Day spaceship. Their shields are down. Direct hit. Gentlemen you may fire at will.

NBA Trade Deadline day on Elon Musk’s X

Ever since I saw this email I’ve been looking for this screenshot