Folks, good news: The Onion is a hundred or so subs away from reaching the long-awaited number of 69,420 paid print subscribers. If you’re that one magic subscriber, we’ll send you a mystery gift box as a thanks. Sign up or regret it forever. We’re on sale for a week. Make sexweed number history.

Please keep an eye out

For the new interested followers: This is somewhat of an unintentional spiritual successor to I Just Watched A Video and mandatory viewing in the Cupps Extended Universe youtu.be/YWYaBeqZMkY?...

Literally if you ever need anyone to write a song for anything or make you an insane video for one he’s the only call you need to make. He will whip up a feast for the senses in less time than it takes me to THINK about creating something sometime later. Dan is a God.

THE DAN CUPPS ERA HAS BEGUN !!!! He is a pure comedic genius. Works with Tim Heidecker and other alt comedy gods but he’s too humble to demand the vitality he deserves.

Thank you Mr. Tim Onion

FOLKS we have corralled Dan to make an account on here, follow his crazy ass @danielcupps.bsky.social

Always thought this video with 800 views by a guy on YouTube named Daniel Cupps should have a few million more. It is even better that it ends in the most reprehensible way I can think of. No better way to prove the point.