The human spirit is endom- imdona-…The human spirit goes hard as fuck.

Is this a false memory? Back when Modern Family came out, Eric Stonestreet did an interview holding a basketball to show he's actually quite manly.

I think I'm missing the plot.

Those sex workers shouldn't have chased that guy off in Unforgiven. He was just trying to give that poor girl a horse. She seemed like she wanted that horse.

"Americans are prosperous, but without any deep sense of obligations to others. We are a highly commercial, individualist people, and when we let go of even a thin liberal conception of the public good, we become nasty, petty, small, vindictive and irrational." Lots to reflect on in this piece.

Well, I could have invented, uh, the floor. But I didn't.

I love magic.

Those sex workers shouldn't have chased that guy off in Unforgiven. He was just trying to give that poor girl a horse. She seemed like she wanted that horse.

this manifesto could’ve been an email

I think I'm attracted to men simply because I don't like the objectification of women, but I still have the urge to objectify. And it's okay with dudes.

It's amazing the psychological damage I seem to have experienced using that social media app. Let me get on this social media app to talk about it.

Myhrr was used in biblical times to rub on a corpse to keep it from stinking, in case you were worried you might be the worst baby shower gift giver in history.

A rising tide lifts all boats, and that sounds good, dependent on the availability of boats.

I was thinking millennials are pretty awesome. Boomers are stealing all the wealth, Gen X listen to Phish, and Gen Z are little nazis I guess. We Millennials are cool. Then I remembered. I'm the same age as Mark Zuckerberg.

The perpetually online are consumed by thoughts about people who deserve no thoughts. Watch a Ken Burns documentary and bore cashiers about it like the rest of us.

I just have to say, as aging goes, Jerry Seinfeld looks unbelievably great at 70. I want the sort of face that looks like I haven't gotten upset since middle school.

A rising tide lifts all boats, and that sounds good, dependent on the availability of boats.

Boomers scrambling to purchase extra large vault-caskets after discovering you CAN take it with you. Gen Z investing in DeathVaults Inc. Wealth transfer.

It's not a mid-life crisis. I just happened to realize that I wasted the first 40 years of my life, my youth is slipping away completely, and I'm desperate to regain the vibrance I appreciated so little while I had it. Nothing like a mid-life crisis.

What are knife guys up to? Are they just carrying knives, hoping to get into knife situations?

Where some people are funny all the time, @andyrichter.co has the bravery to stand next to them, funny on occasion.

Same goes for cult leaders. A little sleight of hand magic, and you're golden.

Swiss A.I. Jesus is out there turning water into hot cocoa.

I know it's gauche to be proud of yourself, but I really love this story "A Big Old Pit of Fire" I wrote and published in @vol1brooklyn.bsky.social. www.vol1brooklyn.com/2024/10/06/s...

Some of y'all are really losing your grasp on the meaning of words, and it's confusing me. Like these kids with their complicated shoes!

Got my thinky time in today. That sort of somber rumination that accomplishes nothing.

Your horoscope for today: Be like a clown - try to amuse others with the deep sadness that dwells within your soul.

If I was built like that it would take a goddamn SWAT team to get me to put on a shirt.

It says a lot about humanity that in a hypothetical situation where time travel is possible, the first and only consideration most of us have is "what baby should I kill? "

I just want you to think that I don't care what you think.

You think Justin Long is sad that he can't grow his hair long, since people will just mistake him for Carrie Brownstein?

I just want you to think that I don't care what you think.

No gravy at Thanksgiving dinner. On the plus side, I'm not in a death penalty state.

Ever watch a terrible reality show, pay no attention while it's on, and still feel obligated to finish just to see who gets kicked off? You have not liked it all season, but you still watch it each week. You don't know why. You cannot stop. You have no control. Watch House of Villains on Peacock.

No gravy at Thanksgiving dinner. On the plus side, I'm not in a death penalty state.

I'm very gullible when it comes to minor trivia. You could tell me the song Scarborough Fair was originally about a guy going down on hig best friend's wife and I would be repeating that absolute truth for the rest of my life.

Parades are praxis. Yeah, it's back. We're talkin' praxis, baby!

Remember, Thanksgiving isn’t easy for everybody. Some people got sewn into Charlie Brown’s pants at the big parade and, to this day, can’t stand bald boys because when they see them, they think they’re back in the pants.

Parades are acts of aggression.

Just went online and selected my seat for my flight. Chose the pilot's one. Now my phone keeps ringing but I'm not picking it up.

I think this account has enough followers for now. Follow me instead, please.

I was about to make this joke, but I searched and saw that someone else already thought of it! Gosh, that would have been embarrassing. But it IS annoying, right?

If you will it, it is no dream. @nathanwpyle.bsky.social is here.

Dropping a knife is how I found out that I can kick both feet out and hover horizontally for several seconds, looking like a dang hummingbird.

I like my suitcase.

Client 1: draw a skull Client 2: draw 2 cats Me [bcc’ing both clients]: done

Can @dieworkwear.bsky.social talk to reviewbrah, the guy who reviews fast food in a suit and tie on YouTube? I'd love to see him in a proper fit.

Not Walmart! They were always so upstanding.