productivity hack: do the annoying task first. what’s that? you have multiple annoying tasks? uh…which one needs to be done today? oh man all of them? oof wow. I got nothing here

if I were CS Lewis this vending machine I saw in New Jersey would be the wardrobe

so many sports gambling commercials. newsflash: theres a whole documentary about what a mess you make when you bet on sports, it’s called Back to the Future 2

it is extremely entertaining to me when someone activates the unflinching ball-strike robot

some intangibles that will make me like your hotel more

pretty suspicious that the pilots are already on the plane when you board it. starting to think there’s more than one “airport”

Beyond thrilled to announce that “Extremely Accurate Birds: An Anatomically Precise Field Guide” is coming this April via Running Press! Been working on this thing for years now and can’t wait for you to see all 200 pages of accurate bird information and *extremely* accurate illustrations!

For Slate, I wrote about what it's like to get a terminal cancer diagnosis when you're 42. slate.com/life/2026/03...

I think it’s beautiful that if you told a bunch of vegetables to imagine being at a water park, only the celery would imagine being the water slide

My debut book of comics is officially LIVE for PREORDER!

i bet if you are the spare button that is sewn into the bottom of the shirt that you have one specific varsity button whose downfall you pray for

if your garbage disposal ever gets a hold of a knife it’s gonna use Spin Attack (the only move it knows)

what year are you on the “I Got…” lyrical chart

common bear questions, the third being most important (answer:NO)

there should be a middle blinker you can use to indicate to other drivers that you are continuing in a straight line

the predicted searches sound like an octopus vacillating between harmless fun and murder

tip: by drawing a simple shape on top of your cat photo, you can create a charming rendering of a large-headed cat in different poses

to improve your afternoon: here is how to sing the times between 3:01 and 3:30

[tune of Mr. jones and me] 🎵 apple Bottom Jeans 🎵

I’ve drawn all 50 states 1/50

today i was surprised to find a hole in my bread. But not nearly as surprised as the bread

it’s important to show your 4 year old how to shine a light through the mystery flavors so she can select her favorite

a more interesting thing to tell your kids is that these are all scale replicas of the monsters that have attacked our city

would it kill the mechanic to say something nice about my car for once

there’s always one person in the family who looks at the Doppler radar

if a dish doesn’t say “dishwasher safe” i just give it a big pep talk before i put it thru the dishwasher. it’s gonna be scary and wet in there, but u got this

on one of our first dates, my wife and I drew each other. this is when I knew

The distance between what is in happening Gaza, fully backed with US dollars and political support, and the reaction of American politicians who by and large just don’t seem to care or support it is just completely brain-breaking. www.nytimes.com/2025/07/23/w...

the fun font choice here makes it look like this is the SHOPPING CART sequel

when you ordered the salad but then you see the antelope burger

birds are hard to draw. one reason: photos of birds often look absurd

a cool combo sport would be "Ice Hockey But Eventually Water Polo" where they keep turning the temperature up throughout the game

take a break with crab

I drew the cover for this week's @newyorker.com