[Looking at an agency whose agents shatter glass onto newborns as they abduct fathers] body cameras will fix this

My next guest is Ed Grunkus and he says need to abrolish ICE.

This is the exact right message. And the "Tim and Eric" style video is the exact right format.

huh?

Everybody keeps saying Ilhan Omar was about to knock that guy out, but I’m pretty sure she had a pen or something in her hand and was actually about to introduce him to the gom jabbar.

(Dude suddenly stops pushing his broom across the floor of the Death Star) Does this look like a big laser to anyone else

The constitutional violations, murder, cruelty, and chaos were all just part of the job. His only mistake was making the Big Man look bad.

They seriously expected to be greeted as liberators by some imagined long-suffering silent majority when they rolled into town and started owning the libs. It never occurred to them that the people they live to argue with online aren't just role playing.

know the facts

"Democrat group chat"

Pam Bondi just sent a letter to Minnesota officials saying ICE will leave if the state turns over its voter database to Trump. Guess what? This has never been about safety or immigration. It’s a pretext for Trump to take over elections in swing states.

the mood is not subtle

We're going to get a scheduled post about the Baileys any time now.

The dumb Nazi fucks just shot teargas upwind of themselves.

Every republican politician and voter thinks this shit is cool and fun

I think I found the final boss of Bluesky bios

They don’t care if it’s even plausible or not. They’re just as likely to say he was trying to him them with his car as they are to say anything else.

When I say “don’t tread on me,” I’m being incredibly specific

CNN is not just imagining things, they're burying the lede: Brooklyn Beckham is apparently a guy's name.

Would you trust Tingle from the Legend of Zelda to park your car? Please explain your answer. No one-word responses.

TROY NEHLS (R–TX): “The fault [for January 6] does not lie with Donald Trump. It lies with Yogananda Pittman and the U.S. Capitol leadership team. We know, we know, they had the intelligence—” MICHAEL FANONE: *coughs* “Go fuck yourself.” *cough*

The problem is that most elected Democrats are terrified of alienating the people who are very explicit in their desire for things that are incompatible with a free and democratic society.

Everybody who uses an iPhone needs to know that holding the unlock and volume up buttons for a few seconds will lock the screen and disable Face ID.

Don’t forget about selling them to a machine like they did to that one kid.

babe wake up trump's logan roying

Actually that's incorrect. The Insurrection Act does whatever Stephen Miller tells him it does until a court says otherwise, and since Stephen Miller tells him it bypasses the courts, whatever a court says can be safely ignored.

This is going to be tonight’s kidnapped musicology duck saga.

In 2026? Give it one month.

Machines may do it cheaper, but they'll never do it better.

I’ll do it. Try and stop me, dead man.

Just, uh… throwing this out there. These bad boys have a range of like 500 yards.

It is wild that Will Stancil is currently the main character (laudatory). When he earns it, he earns it.

Just, uh… throwing this out there. These bad boys have a range of like 500 yards.

This just happens to be the exact combination of words that makes an REI employee’s eyes turn into the numbers on an old timey cartoon cash register.

Very cool. Now do VMI.

alright here you go

Allergic reaction to rubbing Machado's Nobel Prize over every square inch of his body.

The goodest boy. 15/10

Without having heard the stories about how he absolutely reeks, I honestly would have just assumed he was surrounded by a thick fog of whatever the most popular faux-fancy cologne was in 1987.

dogbert has been surrendered to a kill shelter

we don't need any of this shit. I was a grown adult before they even had ICE. reduce the office to like 5 guys who stop weird oranges from coming over the border and fucking up our orange trees and throw the rest of them in jail

If anybody in the Democratic Party had even the slightest bit of social media savvy, they'd be paying somebody full-time to add Hanna-Barbera sound effects to every video of a fascist eating shit.

I want to be careful not to sound to be one of those "oh you really think we're going to have elections" people, but it seems very plausible that they're going to send these goons in to try to pull some shit on the ground on Election Day.

"An analysis of footage from three camera angles shows that the motorist was driving away from—not toward—a federal officer when he opened fire." Great video analysis of Minneapolis shooting from NYT. These frames show drawing of gun and exact moment of first shot. www.nytimes.com/video/us/100...

You don't hate these people nearly enough