guy who invented getting his dick sucked: ohhh shit i really fuck with that. i fuck with that heavy

I would like to formally retract the big ups I gave to Imperial Japan earlier

Seafood that’s boiled in a plastic bag is sweeping across america like lead paint

Lead paint bf seafood boiled in a plastic bag gf

Yeah I’m a leftist. I left dis kid at the fire station and I’m gonna leave dat one in da hot car later

i love when cool shit happens

okay but if it was 1970 and i heard the first song on that first black sabbath record i would have been like “yep this is the work of the devil alright”

list the power rankings of the original line up of black sabbath based on how spectacular their names are

okay so putting aside all the bad stuff, do you guys think epstein was chill?

merchant marine? so you like, sell stuff from your lil shop which is located at the ocean???

in high school, you were reading anthem by ayn rand, i was listening to manthem by the bouncing souls. we are not the same.

me when someone calls me out for doing something legitimately unforgivable: “oh okay so you’re a cop?”

me when i write an article for jacobin speaking out against all those anti-goose people who are like “nah i hate a mean old honkin ass goose”:

Thank fuck for traumaqueers. Fr fr no cap april

weed morpheus: this your last chance. after this there is no turning back. you smoke the blue mids, the story ends. you wake up in your bed and eat whatever munchies you want to. you rip the red kush, you stay in Wonderland and i show you how dank the rabbit hole goes

too nervous

thinkin about posting a “take”

me to my mom: lmao you named your daughter “joshua” dumb bitch

it’s perfectly okay to be a baby in a grown ups world just don’t impose your jingle keys ideas on me is all

remember tenderqueers? glad we all kinda put our foot down about that one ngl

downloaded a ship tracking app so that every time i look at a ship out on the lake i can look up what it’s called and how old it is and where it came from and where it’s going and i read all these lil factoids about the ship and my lips twist into a slight grin and offer up a reasonable “hell yeah”

i have reached true enlightenment… i have transcended discourse… i exist on the internet yet beyond the internet… billions of blades of grass brushing against my body at all times

Were you guys born innocent like me or did you leave a trail of blood and broken dreams behind you on the way out of your moms pussy

Do you guys like car insurance

Test YES to 3477 to explode an oil tanker

Text NO to 3477 to demine the strait of Hormuz

Ruined the vibe by calling myself Bark Suckerberg with her dick in my mouth

it's cool how theres three career paths for trans women and theyre all variations on Charlie Work

When the horse fails the pick pocket check but manages to pull a nat 20 on the adorable honse check, so I was chill with him searching my pockets for snacks 🐴 The only snacks he found examining my coat were my fingers. I still have all of them so we’re like best friends now.

This pony finally got to spend some time with other horses again! 🐴🐴 Special thanks to my wonderful girlfriend @thehouseofwills.bsky.social who set up a long over do wonderful day of riding! More pics to come! Also it’s so lovely that my coat now smells like a barn, best smell ever!

Ugh being knotted sounds hi key goated rn fr fr. What? Pony’s can enjoy being knotted by dominant wolf as much as the next pup. Isn’t that right @thehouseofwills.bsky.social

“Dressage is just math rock for horses” - @thehouseofwills.bsky.social The thing is she isn’t wrong 🐴

(Fight club 2 voice) I wanted to kill every chopped unc who wouldn’t looksmaxx to not get pussy

me after she cums: okay let’s do a silly one

aka @ponygal.bsky.social

Mesopotamia is cheugy

doing research before i form my opinion ever heard of it?

ive seen the greatest minds of my generation destroyed by memes, washed af

im not gonna talk shit about any of these bands because theyre all pretty nice people and no ones done anything too fucked except maybe that tacky shit but i dont believe in socially murdering someone over that but god i cant stand some of these fuckers youre not twee you dont know what twee is

there was a minute there everyones metamour was starting a band whether or not they were any good at it and getting the worst t girl meme lyrics played on local college radio and now you cant say shit about any of these bands sucking ass because your hooking up with their singers wifes fiances bf

War is over if you crash out

get a group of trans girls together to start a band call that prog rock

pretty good title for a prog rock record

If you can dream it you can destroy it

What’s the name of that oyster cult color you like again?

I can’t believe the president threatened a heckin mass unaliving

“you’re just like a pill, instead of making me better you keep making me ill” p!nk go on infowars immediately

Be the change you want to see in the employee handbook

p!nk’s “just like a pill” givin hardcore RFK energy in that chorus

hot girl shit