I think of this tweet often

I am the #1 ticket holder in Australia for the Melania Trump film

GUY DIRECTING AKIRA: In this scene, I would like the motorbike to do the Akira Slide

that’s right

da world is poison

Cool history dude, but before I really get into it do you happen to know if it was written by the victors?

Dogbert has been executed by firing squad

It important to know that there are two major Facebook pages dedicated to Brisbane weather forecasts and they both fucking hate each other

I can bring back the dead but they can only live in Adelaide

they’re beating my ass in the temple of blessings

imagine owning a newspaper and still having to write a letter to the editor of a completely different newspaper

only the most normal people on earth air their grievances in a letter to the Australian newspaper

can you image an arts festival not guided by a real estate agent and an airport manager? makes me sick just to think about

added to a group chat where I don’t know most of the people and was added late so it’s mostly people saying ‘sounds good’ and ‘I’m in’ but I don’t know what everyone’s agreeing to

the human mind will not be able to comprehend whatever insane editorial Caroline Overington has cooked up for the weekend australian

whoa even Trent Dalton has dropped out, the tide is turning babey

it’s pretty hard that we seem to be in an age where everything sucks but is also really embarrassing

Punishing artists for (alleged) political speech hasn't worked for Creative Australia, Melbourne Symphony Orchestra, State Libraries VIC and QLD, Bendigo Writers Fest, and the ABC... but maybe it will work in Adelaide

Guy named Toby who has to workshop his short story the week after Franz Kafka: ‘Yeah I guess I would say this one’s a little Tobyesque.’

a gym is going to employ an AI coach that recommends a kind of lunge that instantly kills you

every time you hit post the computer feels pain

they’re calling it The Tuesday The Bakeries Reopen

the main thing I remember I from reading Murder on the Orient Express is when Poirot mistakes 8 people stabbing the victim all at once as the work of an emotional Greek or Italian man

Seeing a large bird being chased through the sky by a tiny group of loud, smaller birds. Now that’s a sight we can all enjoy.

when I put the tea towel over one should that’s when I’ve gone dinner mode

very embarrassing to read this kind of thing in an australian national newspaper

I would trust a 16 year old to be safe online way more than any adult who regularly reads the courier mail

google is so good now

lmao

They're coming out with a huge new machine that fucking sucks

while I know there’s no real ethical consumption anymore I still think people should feel embarrassed using the drone investment company app

I'm in under my head. Feels great

[soul calibur announcer voice] everybody knows you're high, and they're mad at you

Our daughter wants an elf on the shelf and I’m telling her that she’s wrong, she should be into other things like Slint albums, or the cruel and depressing short stories of Ottessa Moshfegh

me and my buddies are all wide awake and calculating our volume

daughter is freaking out because someone on the school yard told her there’s a version of red light green light you can play where they kill you

we tell ourselves stories in order to agree with everything the protagonist says and does

absolute score

the socialist Victorian government is jailing ten year old kids for life, to push their woke agenda

me and my buddies are gleaning

We love to get on the clock app and look at our timers history. 4 minutes. 11 minutes. 8 minutes. Those were the good ones.

your uncle has been radicalised online again by James Bond casting rumours

accidentally played anthem for a seventeen year old girl during the school run this morning and when we arrived my daughter said she didn’t want to go to school

with Bluey taking off in America there will be a whole future generation hungry for more a Brisbane-centric pop culture. They will listen to Regurgitator. They will read Praise by Andrew McGahan.

I came to bed and my partner was awake and watching my dinner with andre clips on her phone

bit of a disconnect between me, an early years teacher who can’t really afford to rent near the inner city school I work at and the senior teachers who say they can’t strike in case they miss a mortgage payment on their third investment property. it’s curious

is it a good movie? well it only got three and a half australias out of five so you tell me