my partner has been watching Death Comes to Pemberley on Amazon prime and says their subtitles must be AI now

tenants should stan their landlords

Everyone under 30 in the entire world is constantly watching anime on their phone

the internet is cool for forcing you to constantly have a stance on things that should never enter your mind

when a contemporary classical musician has a track called something like “Island pt III”? that’s the juice brother

Huge loser energy from the brisbane cbd today

I love seeing a Facebook page called something like ‘History in Videos’ and then it’s mostly clips of people accidentally blowing up their houses with a home made oven.

hearing that the Grug Memorial prize has been cancelled this year for antisemitism

Australian writers love to get short-listed for the Grug Memorial prize

Reading performatively (reading aloud in such a way that my utterances bring about the states of affairs they refer to)

I hate when a supermarket provides you with a recipe. Whatever I do with the groceries at home is none of their business.

it’s Father’s Day and I’m in the dad chat furiously ranking Talk Talk albums

I know it a meme now or whatever but you could solve a lot of the male loneliness epidemic by chatting to an old bloke at a pub, and that’s why the government should subsidise the pint

My favourite reoccurring character in literature is one that slots into the Slimer category, as in a gross antagonist who becomes a friend.

I’m not exactly sure that this is true

good example of a headline that gets worse as it goes on

I think if in trainspotting every time Ewan McGregor’s character Chef Casper said ‘I’m cooking up’ and then made a cubano sandwich, to the enjoyment of everyone, instead of just taking heroin it would have been a very different movie

lowered our son’s graphic settings so he could run around the house smoother and now kids at school are teasing over his low poly count

most of our problems stem from being unable to sit alone in a room without also going on the computer

They should have a section at the bookstore for books they think are bad

the novelisation of the Bluey movie is just under 350 pages and has a long section about how the expansion of Brisbane's public transport for the 2032 olympics will raise the crime rate and sink the Heeler’s property value

The old world is dying, and the new world is so fucking stupid dude

The Cars had a massive hit with Drive because it was the first time they sang about what a car could do, the machine they were named after

4am sharp getting on the loom to weave my prophecies before any of the other monks have wakened

Pretty cool that the camera in your car that beeps when something passes too close in front of you is writing screenplays now

albanese is the principal skinner of australia

Foreword: *crying* I know you haven’t read the book yet but please listen to me Afterword: you’re very smart for finishing the book and here’s why I support you

The virgin Foreword vs the chad Afterword

these are the books I read growing up that helped make me really annoying

Would be pretty cool to be a teacher in queensland next week when we strike on wednesday

we’re living in pretty unprecedented times but luckily in Australia we have some of the worst journalists in the world to help navigate us through the waters

I think a lot about Steve Irwin stumbling into his own personal Greek myth

Me bringing Ahab out of his quarters at 4am to look at a black clump of seaweed

Snapple facts under the cap, nutrition facts along the side…… this bottle is teaching me a lot about this crazy world of ours

the first time James Bond walked onto screen and fired at the camera at the start of the movie audiences panicked and started blindly shooting back

mums love to become politically awakened by a twenty minute discussion from guy at the markets who runs a honeycomb stall

it’s so cool how almost everything is a scam and is simulatenously killing us

Australian publishing is in celebration mode as Anh Do secures a 50 book deal about the mushroom trial

broke: a voice to parliament for indigenous Australians. woke: a voice to parliament for Benjamin Netanyahu.

reading this all-timer for bedtime

narrative maxxing by reading a novel and simultaneously listening to the audiobook while my wife scrolls a big pdf on the tv in time with me

You know libraries hate to see my oral tradition ass coming

The reading crisis is worrying because if people stop reading Henry James's late novels they will completely lose the capacity for moral decision making

The journalist just adding ‘my wife left me’ into a headline about the mushroom poisoner has broken my brain