daughter is freaking out because someone on the school yard told her there’s a version of red light green light you can play where they kill you

we tell ourselves stories in order to agree with everything the protagonist says and does

me and my buddies dressing as turn of the century loggers for the Train Dreams opening weekend

(DMing girl) Life is so randommm it's like.. Whyyyyyy Lol. (logging into Albert Einstein role playing account) (DMing same girl) Life makes perfect since

absolute score

the socialist Victorian government is jailing ten year old kids for life, to push their woke agenda

Kendrick Lamar “Swimming Pools” voice

me and my buddies are gleaning

We love to get on the clock app and look at our timers history. 4 minutes. 11 minutes. 8 minutes. Those were the good ones.

going to be awesome to be 15 years old in victoria, where you won't be allowed to watch youtube but will be allowed to go to prison for a thousand years

my 5 year plan is to become evil and my 10 year plan is to become good again

your uncle has been radicalised online again by James Bond casting rumours

accidentally played anthem for a seventeen year old girl during the school run this morning and when we arrived my daughter said she didn’t want to go to school

with Bluey taking off in America there will be a whole future generation hungry for more a Brisbane-centric pop culture. They will listen to Regurgitator. They will read Praise by Andrew McGahan.

I came to bed and my partner was awake and watching my dinner with andre clips on her phone

bit of a disconnect between me, an early years teacher who can’t really afford to rent near the inner city school I work at and the senior teachers who say they can’t strike in case they miss a mortgage payment on their third investment property. it’s curious

had a dream I booked a restaurant and failed to pay for dinner insurance so we'd be out of pocket for the doctor and ambulance ride if the food happened to poison us

lol ok enjoy your pleasures of the flesh bro. We’ll be here on the computer engorging our minds

is it a good movie? well it only got three and a half australias out of five so you tell me

When God closes an Overton door He opens an Overton window

alexander pushkin may have been an incredible writer but i would’ve destroyed his ass in goldeneye.

AI video your mother shared of a bird stuck in Halloween decorations. AI post of girl in hospital saying she survived by praying. AI video of Robert Redford talking to his family who are crying. AI video of John Lennon saying he was killed by antifa and you must avenge him.

would rather have a railroad spike shunted through my head than read this

If the twelve rules you followed led you here, of what use were the twelve rules

Jair Bolsonaro hospitalised again after drinking contaminated ground water

me slowly boiling to death: this pond is mad warm.. (texting my frog buddies) you gotta check out this sick pond

the human mind was only supposed to absorb three or four posts a day before rest time

Evil Paul Simon

Chess would be pretty cool if you could use the pawns as moveable cover and knights were able to have guns

reading a 700 page book in the ocean

my partner has been watching Death Comes to Pemberley on Amazon prime and says their subtitles must be AI now

tenants should stan their landlords

Everyone under 30 in the entire world is constantly watching anime on their phone

the internet is cool for forcing you to constantly have a stance on things that should never enter your mind

when a contemporary classical musician has a track called something like “Island pt III”? that’s the juice brother

Huge loser energy from the brisbane cbd today

hearing that the Grug Memorial prize has been cancelled this year for antisemitism

Australian writers love to get short-listed for the Grug Memorial prize

Reading performatively (reading aloud in such a way that my utterances bring about the states of affairs they refer to)

I hate when a supermarket provides you with a recipe. Whatever I do with the groceries at home is none of their business.

it’s Father’s Day and I’m in the dad chat furiously ranking Talk Talk albums

I know it a meme now or whatever but you could solve a lot of the male loneliness epidemic by chatting to an old bloke at a pub, and that’s why the government should subsidise the pint

My favourite reoccurring character in literature is one that slots into the Slimer category, as in a gross antagonist who becomes a friend.

I’m not exactly sure that this is true

good example of a headline that gets worse as it goes on

I think if in trainspotting every time Ewan McGregor’s character Chef Casper said ‘I’m cooking up’ and then made a cubano sandwich, to the enjoyment of everyone, instead of just taking heroin it would have been a very different movie

lowered our son’s graphic settings so he could run around the house smoother and now kids at school are teasing over his low poly count