if the first part happens this site is gonna have close to zero discourse leading up to it

Arguably, a significant chunk of "median voters" (derogatory) were more traumatized by being asked to wear a mask and not go out to eat than they were by +1 million deaths.

well he’s pro-Amtrak at least

Blew my three leg parlay on omenbook, I got calf with the face of a man and a clap of thunder in a clear sky but no fucking two hawks fighting which is crazy because I figured hawks were always fighting

remember when the worst red flag was a Groupon on Valentine's Day

before social media if you said 'I'm shitting without end if I eat that' people would be like hell yeah me too but now there's always people accusing you of having American Tummy

Hypothesis: If I Drink This I Will Shit My Shirt Somehow

list of things you can't say without being a cop just gets bigger

Douglass was more literate than anyone who posts 50 times a day

it's so cool that he sounds like he's being played back off of an Edison wax cylinder. archive audio of a civil war veteran ass

Complete list of fast food restaurants where I have eaten: McDs, BK, In and Out, Culver's, Taco Bell and most of those not at all in the last 30 years but I kinda like muckbang vids and am wondering if I'm missing out

so let it be done

"cooled by the vacuum of space" - huh, neat. hey does anyone know how thermoses work

Live at Trace Brewing (Pittsburgh) this Friday, 8 PM. Be there.

half terrified the Savannah Guthrie story could change the course of history in a bad way and half expect it to be a traditional in-family psychopath

And that’s exactly what I said on that other app when she said it KSKKSKSAKAKSKKSKSKSKS

denial of death by chocolate

Yeah, this is extremely common. And if you have a good relationship with your spouse, you're not spying on their stuff (or vice versa) anyway.

Not everyone has the same relationship with their partner and/or devices? It's not particularly strange that one person has a desktop computer which isn't a private device, or which they trust their partner to help them with if they need tech advice.

sorry for the delay, my phone died a little inside

Yeah I’m looking for my dog (girlfriend who has a restraining order against me and she has a dog) and here’s the picture of the dog (she walks this dog and I can use it to figure out her schedule) thanks for sending all footage my way

they're doing presidential ahegao and nobody cares

imagine your elderly mom is kidnapped and likely dead & you have to deal with a guy saying ‘we’re doing very well on that, very strong discoveries, you’ll be hearing reasonably soon’

selling gummies by making women think their pussy tastes bad is some of the most fucked up, misogynistic, disgusting marketing i have experienced in A WHILE

Pre-orders for my 10th release, Extra Cheese, are LIVE. The album drops 3/27, but if you grab a vinyl or CD today on the Three Dollar Pistol Bandcamp, we’ll send it to you a week early. There’s also a Bandcamp-exclusive track available for stream. Consider it single #0 🧀➕

wish I had enough money to buy Stove God out of his contract man to be the Tony Danza to his Tupac

yeah my playlist for when it happens is problematic

yeah there are unlimited creeps but few have what it takes to be a procurer: even when he was at BS Epstein was assumed to be hooking up his boss (who had way more social status and money) with women he was happy to get dirty on behalf of the elites, that’s incredibly valuable

we stan a headless king

the Mount Sinai hold music is a soundalike to Bruce Hornsby’s ‘The way it is’ huh

Jason Voorheated Rivalry

a chomsky fried this dinner

You have achieved financial success + professional prestige in your field. Congratulations! The Disgusting Pervert wishes to meet. Accept?

got a cramp at the gym that was so embarrassing they’re gonna put my picture up like a shoplifter

They’re not job creators turns out

OK, so Musk was planning to go to Epstein's island, but it's not like he went there with the intent to go to a wild party or something, it was probably just some business. Excuse me, an email just came in. *Reads:* "What day/night will be the wildest party on your island?"

6 7, or a bakers dozen, is how white kids without imagination play the dozens

lots going on but can we talk about zoomers needing their phone in the sauna?

hell is one particular other person

and it was

no one tell this guy his "dna" is half ladies

‘libs call it a clip lol’ ‘some of us know it’s a mag‘ ‘then you must die‘

At this point unprecedented times bring out the horny real bad

these boys are really good, just go (Philly tonight)

from this to Whiskey Fridays