Just lying in bed doom scrolling, caught my reflection in the phone and realised I look like Andrew Mountbaton-Windsor in the back of a police car.

Been hit with the Mandela Effect and it's sending my head west. In the Young Ones, I swear Vyvyan says "YES, WE'VE GOT A *BLOODY* VIDEO" - but searched extensively for the clip from the episode 'Nasty' - it's not there. Googled it to find other people remember it, but it's not in the show 😬

Isabel Oakeshott claiming asylum in the first safe country she reaches, yeah?

Trailer for the new Leprechaun movie just dropped

Dog did a cock-shaped shit yesterday. Then was greeted by this on my windscreen this morning. Not sure what the universe is trying to tell me...

Next door have put their tree up

I would like to publicly state for the record that I have NOT, now or ever, joined The Kaiser Chiefs

I have been the victim of a DDoS (Distributed Delivery of Slander) attack orchestrated by the rogue state of Ron Mexico. I have instructed my lawyers. See you in the Hague, Ron

Inside the plight of Blackburn Rovers: this is a call for football to do better | Rachel Dugdale

Pissbag imminent

@digitallysquat.bsky.social Finally made it over

Alright mate x

Swedish Lonely Island banter lads #eurovision

This would have gone down well in Blackburn nightclubs in the late 90s #denmark #eurovisiom

Normalise telling people their 'concerns' are not, in fact, 'legitimate'.

Clitheroe Beer Festival this weekend if you're out and about in the Ribble Valley - well worth checking out 👍

"Keir Starmer to cap immigration at 0, blow up the arrivals terminals at all major UK airports and order the Royal Navy to shoot approaching vessels on sight - but in greatest Brexit betrayal yet, still refuses to allow us to hunt people with foreign vibes for sport! Only Farage can save us."

This is the vibe I bring to the party

Not sure who the Bad Sex Dangers are in your life? Simply ask friends and family what they think about the Brand New tour announcement 👍

Just sat here waiting for the nurse to mispronounce my name like always

Me irl searching for the least soiled chair at the doctor's

Haha! Artist: Ninj https://b3ta.com/board/11415905 From the 'The Bondiverse' challenge https://b3ta.com/challenge/thebondiverse/popular/ #TheBondiverse

Finally, social media that's billionaire-proof. ⚡ Bluesky's first IRL ads spotted in @boston.gov @mbta.com.

Whoever smelt it, dealt it

“stay out of the black and in the red - nothing in this game for two in a bed”

“Give it some minge”

Saw a man with the worst teeth I've ever seen in my life earlier

GP surgery has just text saying I qualify for a 'free NHS health check' - they should just be honest, 'you're 40 now, it's time for the finger up your arse'

@nicolasillybum.bsky.social Unclear as to whether this band are mocking us or not

Cask lovers, you're going to want to read this. This week, @petebrownbeer.bsky.social is on top form, telling the story of @burtonbridgebrew.bsky.social. “Tradition is the handing down of the flame and not the worshipping of ashes.” www.pelliclemag.com/home/2025/1/...

I am a year into a journalism job after a degree and years of grafting to secure a career in journalism. My advice to anyone considering this line of work - do it if you want a peanut salary with a load of unpaid work in a dying industry.

Deleted my twitter

Well, I guess we’ll just never know whether it was a Nazi salute or not…

Well i got like 100 scam DMs today. Thats pretty good. It could have been 200 or 1000. I guess theres no way to make this happen less often. The devs are doing their best. Its basically impossible to program a computer to do any thing

welcome to the cocktagon

Bring back the banhammer

I quite miss old messageboards with moderators popping in every two minutes to tell annoying dimwits to shut the fuck up or they would be ostracised.

Followed that lass who's listening to her late father's record collection on Insta but I'm not sure I can cope with how out of control her eyebrows are

Giles Coren must be stopped

Me and Mrs San when I've eaten all the onions that came with the poppadoms

People who order complicated af sandwiches when the queue is already massive in the butty shop #names

EATING FOOD IS WOKE www.theguardian.com/politics/202...

Manchester

Got a beer-lover in your life? Want to get them something they'll actually love for Xmas? My latest newsletter is here to help! open.substack.com/pub/katiemat...

Dublin

Went to a black comedy show in LA and made friends with an actual Crip in the queue