Absolute all-timer sentence in today's @nytimes.com

I was hoping to get raptured today but ended up in a house of jealous lovers instead.

seeing a lot of discourse on things like moralistic views of cheating and public shaming and I think we're losing sight of the main point here: a CEO is sad and that's fun.

this rules

in fairness to the vice president, i do think he genuinely gets off on the of trump’s gestapo kidnapping immigrants and terrorizing their communities. he probably can’t shoot if he isn’t watching some ICE thug stick disappear an abuela

at least he didn't do something truly reckless like try to forgive student loans

A handheld Nintendo Console that is a marginal but noticeable improvement upon its predecessor with the backdrop of an unnecessary war in the middle east predicated upon the shaky premise of the existence of weapons of mass destruction? Welcome back, Gameboy Advance SP.

Stamos praying to St. Peter at the gates.

I recently saw a guy try and turn into a Target via a left turn into an entrance that is right past a very busy intersection despite there being a number of other options. He had a Yang 2020 sticker on his car, which was very illustrative.

@frankconniff.bsky.social, @tracebeaulieu.bsky.social

Love this dude. Been so wonderful to see him develop. Each album pushes his boat out into deeper and deeper waters.

Forever an inspiration. RIP Ariel Kalma.

The newspaper that gave the world Roger Ebert & published his Pulitzer-winning film criticism for five & a half decades can't be bothered to pay a human freelancer some tiny pittance to compile a summer reading list, so they outsourced it to the free lie generator. I have no joke. This is just sad.

As a kid I always thought this was a photo of George Wendt.

Goddamn I thought this was Ceaușescu at first.

Guilt to Spill

A Chicago Pope implies the existence of an MLA Pope and APA Pope

In retrospect, my purchase of popepizzaballa.net was shortsighted.

Black smoke, black shoes, black hat, Cadillac. No new pope today!

I personally believe that caring at all who is in the rock and roll hall of fame is a character flaw

Roses are red Children make angels in the snow

Very sorry to hear about the passing of David Thomas. I'll get a Spicy Chicken Sandwich and a Frosty on the way home in his honor. 🙏

that scene in there's something about mary when ben stiller is in the bathroom and can't find his load but with a fingernail i just trimmed

Cliff Conclavin'

drinkin chips out of a coffee mug

me when I finish the jug of pb pretzel nugs that was supposed to last all week

Help! I saw Soul Coughing the other night and can't stop scatting at my dog and wife. They do not like it!

Very sad to hear about the passing of Stephen Houldsworth. He and Graham Matthews were tireless chroniclers of the noise and underground scene a decade or so back. Their channel is a deep and real legit well of what was happening in STL at the time. RIP to a real one. www.youtube.com/@GrahamandSt...

driving back from s/e mo and thought i saw a little dead monkey on the side of the highway. i was like " theres no monkeys in missouri" then like 5m later i passed that budget ass "safari" wildlife park that had all the illegal animals 😳 😬 😵

Pokey Lafarge recently updated his sound from Jim Crow old-timery to post-WWII exotica. Maybe by the end of the summer he'll match the 90s MOR adult contemporary vibes of this lineup.

I haven't kept up with LCD Soundsystem in fifteen years but it's a bummer that they're coming to STL to play in an outlet mall way outside the city.

[Youth pastor voice] You know there's another guy who is orange and hates Mondays

Is it Paw Patrol or Papa Troll?

Hungry bread and butter hustle.

this is the second worst liberation day ever

Fun fact: this actor's real name is Lawrence Korn but they had to change it because the technology to print a reversed R didn't exist yet.

same but cotton-eyed joe.

mfw the pizza chain is about to deliver my detroit-style pie

i was never a fan of curly fries but i like shemp fries even less.

Two macarons don't macaright

Big ups to my mom for never putting together why she only had nickels and dimes in her coffee can filled with change. All of those quarters went to arcades and Taco Bell. Also cheers to the Taco Bell employees who patiently waited while I counted out three dollars in change every day.

ICE kidnapped another student. This time a grad student at Tufts, Rumeysa Ozturk. Turkish national, in the United States on a student visa. Her lawyer does not know where she is being held. Rumeysa wrote op-eds criticizing the university's response to student demands on Gaza.

People who are annoyed by the slow reveal of the new Avengers cast never got distracted while watching the Preview Channel and had to wait for it to cycle all the way back around.

I almost convinced my mother in law that the name for the little chapels inside Spanish cathedrals were chappelrones, but my wife told me to stop.

you’re fired. wait you’re rehired. email us a list of things you’ve done today wait forget it you’re fired again. come back your job was important. you’re fired. or hired. come in to the office. wait the office has no computers go home. we are the department of government efficiency.

Yes goooodddd

When I was in college I bought and read all of Evelyn Waugh's novels, with the exception of Brideshead Revisited because it was "the popular one". That double layer of snobbery says a lot about that period in my life.