You don't know how to decorate your own dorm room??

I love that every commercial for ai makes it clear it's a product for lonely dimwitted losers

<assembling a lineup of the 50 best non-Jewish non-female non-queer comedians> uh... Jimmy Carr maybe?

Sebastian Maniscalco doing the best act out you've ever seen as they saw him into pieces

Shoutout to people who don't follow me but reply paraphrasing my own joke back to me so that it's not funny. Great work today!

We're abolishing prison, unless you work for ICE. If you work for ICE you're going to prison

Bad Bunny’s surprise special guest is Kendrick Lamar who performs “Not Like Us” again

Open Borders, Except For white South Africans.

We're making guns legal and bullets illegal

Starting a new political movement called Fourth Way that's the opposite of Centrism

As much fun as it would be if this was true, $55 is a case price. It's $2.50 a can on their website erewhon.com/product/8297...

They should do a photo like this but it's just Jimmy Carr, Louis CK, and Whitney Cummings

If your Williams is Chatterton, your block list's malfuctionin'

"New Yorkers are not looking for a handout" says the man who tried to route every flight he took through Istanbul so that the Turkish government would give it to him for free, in exchange for his explicit promise not to acknowledge the Armenian Genocide

With the presidential election only 3 years away, it's time for us to rally around our presumptive nominee Eric Adams

having the time of my life with multiple talent agents who want to sign an ai actress. They're drawing up the paperwork right now just out of frame

the "abolish ICE" people were right

my current 2025 ranking is Sinners #1, then Twinless, then uh Weapons maybe?, then some other stuff I forgot, then One Battle After Another, then most other movies. OBAA was fun. Perfectly good. Thumbs Up. I liked Licorice Pizza better

One Battle After Another confused me. If Gabby's dollhouse is her most prized possession, how could she let it end up in Vera's hands? and which one was Leonardo DiCaprio??

You too can read it! Right here! www.officialstuntlist.com/stunt-list-s...

remember this when rfk says 'there didn't used to be autistic people'

Al Hartley is King

Sort of a cop out to bring Kimmel back AFTER the rapture

Any movie poster / promotional material designers available for some work this week that requires a quick turnaround?

This is a great, and if you like it you should watch some rugby. Look up the Women's World Cup on Paramount+

You guys, so many Romance girlies are reading "On Tyranny" that they've broken the Goodreads recommendations algorithm. 10/10; no notes. #romancelandia

This stuff'll change your life

*Editors Note: While Too Much Backstory Man was speaking in this panel he went to outer space, died, was replaced by his son, was resurrected, died again, came back, lost his powers, he's a clone now (see: Spectacular TMBSM vol 6 #22 (Legacy #566) pg 7-9 for the full story!)

I'm writing on Sketchcram at UCB today! The show goes on at 11pm tonight! ucbcomedy.com/show/sketch-...

BUG NEWS -- TIMELINE REFRESH

*** ORIGINAL TOILET PAPER STILL INTACT *** RARE!! *** CGC WORTHY

We're in good hands

This is how i feel about Quibi. I could have stopped it

They didn't? What did they think was gonna happen?

This is a disgraceful way of honoring a charlatan who took credit for other people's work

They should hold it on January 6th

native pink praying man hanging out on the trash can at the los feliz library!

@stanferguson.com some fun recent comics

this is peak television

You can't trick me into watching a clip of Jimmy Fallon. I'm not falling for that

If I wanted to see Body Horror, I'd look in a mirror

As a comedian, this hasn't been my experience at all. Of course the 50 losers that moved to Austin in 2020 are silent but I'm not friends with them. My socials have been flooded with solidarity from comics big and small. Basically everyone is speaking out

They're still working out the kinks

quoting Mein Kampf from memory but shaking my head the whole time so the people who know me primarily as the author of Harry Potter know I disagree with it

finally figured out what melania looked like, pretend I skeeted this 12 news cycles ago