Nothing to see here, folks! We’re just taking out the trash by helping him into his own grave.

Concerning reports out of the north that Trump shot an Albatross on the 7th hole of his golf trip. While typically docile, our Albatross’ have started formal squawks with the So. Georgia/Sandwich Islands for “strategic positions”, close to DT’s Sealago Flaco resort @southgeorgiaht.bsky.social

ADMIN REVEAL: Our tireless Gov Social media manager (also our sec of finance), has had quite the week. Pingu the chinstrap penguin has learned alt text, created a commerce merch store, and has become worryingly sage on the topic of guano’s chemical and economic value. Thank you Pingu

Waddle up. Kendrick Lamar, your move.

Fight fascism. #3E #Handsoff #FiftyFiftyOne 📷 @njcoatldc.bsky.social

Penguin leadership approves of this message.

What would YOU do if they triggered your fight or flight response and you couldn’t fly? FIX BEAKS! MAKE READY! HOLDDD!

I am obsessed with the penguin Gadsden flag

Most birds have a fight or flight response. He forgot we’re flightless birds.

The Council of Penguins will never use Signal chats to discuss our war plans. You have our guarantee.

For the humans: today’s the day! Be safe, pack extra fish and sea water, and come out to waddle for your rights! #FlippersUp #HandsOff

Friday smiles 😃

me getting out of the stupid house for my stupid mental health

Don’t mind us, we’re just practicing how we’d behave if we ever see him in person.

Press Sec: “Nobody understands how normal it is to have a secret cabinet meeting chat group on the beach, and that loser Jeff just materializes “

Effective immediately: Heard Island will be canceling our contract with Spacex for ALL future space travel. Dr. Amelia Sealhart and CPT Charles Icebergh will be leading our charge to adapt all flightless birds to flight capability. This will supplement our already extensive Albatross Space Force

What are you gonna do, deport us? We’ve been dealing with ICE for centuries.

Threads thinks the human we hired yesterday types too fast, and we almost lost our account. Thankfully we’re back, but we’re going to spread things out more evenly here and there. It’s clear they just can’t handle this much penguin.

Can't believe it as well. Aoshima, an island inhabited by cats, was left untouched. Sounds about unfair.

Science is being dismantled and vilified around us. I’m angry. Disappointed. This cute painting is conveying these complex feelings through the juxtaposition of a fake star with real telescope data. If you want a limited edition print when it’s finished (sooooon), join my email list to get a ping!

If you’re new here, welcome. Our Antarctica Nudist Colony Government was formed after Seal hunters left our land around 1920. We occasionally allow scientists to study our 29 mammals, multiple seabirds, and limited flora, but have no permanent human settlement. Australia partially protects us 1/2

Thank you @sanders.senate.gov for your support. Hands off Heard!

Opus in solidarity.

Ugh.

Remember folks, not only has he tariffed penguins, but his Defense Secretary spilled the krill on top-secret military operations. Even the penguins are aware of it.

Current mood.

I stand with the penguins of Heard and McDonald Islands!

The representative from McDonald Island has tried to filibuster our renaming of the island but did not have the same stamina as @booker.senate.gov and stood for only 24 minutes.

Us finding out about the tariffs yesterday.

Defence Ministry: Shoreline defence force Gentoo’s prepare mortars. Our Navy Seals conduct clandestine training, and teach tactical camouflage and concealment to juveniles. We stand ready. Flippers Up.

SAVE THE PENGUINS. STOP TRUMP’S TARIFFS.

Can’t believe they flippered tariffs against us yesterday.