2-3 weeks out from the Big Move and so far packing is going great as long as I don’t think about the kitchen

met a hairless kitten and it instantly fixed my mental health

now for something completely different

sweater progress

Discovering computer as an adult makes you go crazy. Discovering computer as a baby makes you go crazy. In all of human history, there will only ever be one generation to discover computer at the correct age: 13

*taps sign

there are other worlds than these

if anyone needs me I’ll be sitting in the sunlight staring at my hands

IN THE FIGHT AGAINST FASCISM PORNOGRAPHERS HAVE YOUR BACK DO YOU HAVE THEIRS?

Myles: “did you see they’re euthanizing Scruff McGruff? too woke. 😔”

someone is furious with me because I cleaned poop off her head with a baby wipe

impossible to adequately describe the joy that comes from completely reimmersing yourself in your most all-encompassing teenage obsessions in your 30s

oh now that we’ve both told work I guess I can announce that Myles and I are moving again (to new jersey this time)

it’s been a long week how many martinis do we think I can get away with tonight before it becomes a problem

Myles says he won’t watch the five hour Billy Joel documentary with me. ☹️ divorce?

I didn’t know this was possible but the kitchen cabinet where we shove all of our plastic bags is…empty? genuinely thought they were reproducing by themselves in there

Tabb has been with me for over 20 years and now he’s gonna be with me forever

new york should install a series of Eric Adams Zoltar machines that spit out Eric Adams-isms like “go to sleep with the boys and wake up with the men”

we’re in a hotel so we’ve been watching forensic files for 4 hours and are all tv ads just for prescription medications and mobile games now

they should make a goodreads for people who can pass an AP English exam

the depression is hitting kind of hard lately maybe a new tattoo will help

what’s the stupidest red flag you’ve ever ignored? my worst ex used to chastise me for thanking his Alexa

new pleasers looked up at me from their box and said “please may we dance to Billy Joel’s Stiletto 🥺” and who am I to say no

oh hai

wait what did the muppet people do

It’s almost the end of the year, so time to bring out the Tarot of the Divine 12 Month Spread~! If you you do it, QRP this so I can see your spread! #tarot

it’s onesie season ❄️

patron: you have a creature on your shirt! me: yes! patron: is it a cow? me: …no

one irish coffee and half a bloody mary in and getting a little teary eyed about how much I love dogs

every year my lattice work gets just a tiny bit better. at this rate I should have a photogenic pie in about 10 years.

on the move

finally time to break out my sweater magnum opus

notes from the library

hey ur girl is: bruised

am I depressed or is everything about existence actually terrible

#cornflakes #bondage

hi hello I finally finished this sweater

happy birthday @maladroithe.bsky.social !!

I'll never get over how the best line in all of noir – "I've got eight slugs in me. One's lead, and the rest are bourbon" – doesn't come from Raymond Chandler or Dashiell Hammett, but Calvin and Hobbes

Edward Gorey illustrations for 'The War of the Worlds' (1960)

You can’t tell the guy robbing you he’s got a panty on his head anymore, because of woke

can I interest you in some Izzie pics?

so I got a new baby

every time I visit my (deceased) grandmother’s house I return with more of her clothes. this time: two wool kilts.

meanwhile in florida

had a job interview this morning and when I got home I managed to lock my keys, phone, credit card, and ID in my car so. not a great sign.

someday maybe we’ll be able to post videos here

i first saw this in like 2017 and i still say “taco baco” and “america run no dundun” because of it

The energy I intend to bring to the New Year.