I hope Santa shits in his stocking

We once again will have scissor lifts, five point harnesses, and various tree strands for non-binary (defined broadly) community members who wish to croak ominous portents from the trees. Please remember to dress warmly! A Soothsayer Supply Group will make the rounds with hot cocoa & extra gloves.

TOMORROW IS THE WINTER SOLSTICE AND Y'ALL KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. It is time for the women (defined broadly) to hunt the Year King through the woods and tear him apart with their bare hands!

eternal mood art by @nervous.bsky.social & Counting Crows

catching up on stranger things and uh they're really wigging out this season, huh? getting wiggy with it? wiggy stardust? wig bad wolf? fuck it up, wigface?

Work phone, caller ID. "Hey, that's the same as Old Friend's mom's name. How about that." Turns out? It actually was Old Friend, calling on behalf of her mom! We haven't talked in years. It was so exciting to make contact. She was my second real friend, ever. We merely grew apart: I still love her

This piece on Cassandras and anti-alarmists by @polphilpod.bsky.social is well done, and I bet some Bluesky users will see themselves in.

A customer selected a bunch of roses, saw me smile, and sneered "they're not for you." Hey man, thanks-- I've been having a rough time lately, and it really helps to know that you see me as a piece of shit who doesn't deserve courtesy, let alone kindness. Eat shit and die, also.

Republicans don't exist without someone to victimize, it's all they know

i built a house on a rock and called it roots

Widget, you bitch, I miss you I wish you hadn't killed yourself how has it been 6 years? GOD DAMN I MISS MY DEAD FRIEND

okay so the book I'm reading is good but the voice actor who does the audiobook has Joey Ramone yelling "HAAAY! HOOOE!" like a drag queen getting your attention at at brunch

all I'm saying, history podcast people, is that if you focus too much on WWII, you're gonna get too granular & alienate your listeners, bc not a lot of people want a 6-parter on every nazi history is so much bigger than dubya dubya too. please read another book and break the curse of our fathers

i just upset my drink on the coffee table and immediately kicked over the bong 10/10

my boss doesn't like me anymore, can't be nice to me, and clearly wants me to quit I'll embrace the breakdown and get institutionalized before I quit a job in this economy it is a standoff

While I recognize and respect that everyone's brain works differently, "You're Wrong And Here's Why (With Footnotes)" is my least-favorite conversation to have

THEE best books I read this year are as follows, chronologically: The Last House on Needless Street - Catriona Ward These Lifeless Things - Premee Mohamed Wearing The Lion - John Wiswell Hemlock & Silver; What Stalks The Deep; and Snake-Eater - T. Kingfisher Actress of a Certain Age - Jeff Hiller

I could clean my truck & wash the dishes, but instead, I'm gonna order Christmas gifts & read The Vicious Circuit trilogy by @brockway.bsky.social who was once kind enough to send me a free copy of his book Carrier Wave. I think about those vignettes all the time. His latest is up for pre-order!

Diavola was mid. I'm not sorry I read it, but I just could not get my teeth into the actual horror parts. I wasn't freaked out at all. I think it wanted to be two things, family drama + ghost story. It's almost one thing but not quite another. It didn't miss the mark; it couldn't choose a target

John Fetterman is so awful

but "she handed me a heart-shaped locket that said 'be a selfish son of a bitch' and then I shivered as I watched a roach crawl across the toe of my high-heeled shoe" isn't as good a lyric

I'm not going back to Twitter because I'm not online to "combat the right," I am here to get rid of intrusive thoughts and maybe make like six specific women laugh

"it's Sunday, and it's been 2 weeks, so I guess I'll at least scroll through the headlines-- WHAT THE FUCK HAS HAPPENED HERE" 🍕 🔥

christmas has gotten so far from its religious roots, wish we could celebrate our holidays like medieval christians (cross-dressing, being told by the bishop to stop cross-dressing, resolutely refusing to stop cross-dressing, threatening the bishop in defense of cross-dressing)

I heard a catchy Christmas song that was very clearly Barenaked Ladies & Weird Al but I couldn't find it anywhere bc it's credited to Elton John & Ed Sheeran what

SINCE I mention that, I've read 3 good books by Nat Cassidy in the past couple of days. One of them was When The Wolf Comes Home It's a love letter to Stephen King, and it explores the parent-child dynamic. Kids feel fear so acutely and have so little power. It's a hard world for the little things.

watching the video of the angry Minnesota grandpa and feeling like "if this is how other people get mad, maybe Dad was just a fucking werewolf"

erika kirk has resting cult face

reading and enjoying a very good horror novel with lots of goo & ancient monsters, but there's one scene that's worse & more upsetting than any blood or guts and it's when one character moves another character's wheelchair out of their reach PUT IT BACK

i was bored

If you've never gotten to watch a disgusting racist piglet throw a silent tantrum & refuse to eat the meal someone else bought him simply because he's seated adjacent to a family of Spanish-speakers, I highly recommend it. I've never eaten a more satisfying meal in my life

Tiktok Is Vaudeville: Art, Artists, Performance, and Prejudice In this essay I will

my cat does better pull-ups than secdef lol

I woke in the middle of the night to see unfamiliar shadows moving in my home and I approached them and stood in the doorway until they were only trees after all

anybody else a complete mess in their day-to-day but absolutely baller in a crisis? on a related note, i wonder what my neighbors think when they hear me shouting "GET INSIDE! NO, GET INSIDE! I'VE GOT THE ANIMAL-HANDLING GLOVES! AND A HAMMER!! AND A KNIFE!!! I AM IN CONTROL HERE! GO INSIDE!"

who's got an upstairs screened porch full of squirrels? THIS GUY god damn it

if you do this to me after I die I will find a way to kill you

"why does he hate her more than he loves me?" okay so a cartoon owl just explained my entire relationship with my dad. that's cool

when i'm stressed i only ever need a little vitamin z warren zevon will soothe me absolutely anytime heavy rotation this week, lemme tell you

if one more person demands my attention at the cost of my own well-being I'm going to see myself out the window

Cold snap, hot flashes I have no idea how to dress anymore

ok, i read a bad book and then a sad book so now i get to read a fresh premee mohamed book as a treat for being such a trouper

ok well my drawing tablet is packed away but here

Nobody's Girl, by Virginia Guiffre, is an important book and a stone-cold bummer RIP

changing the gc avi to the grinch throwing ass bc it's crimbus and we all need a little treat

It's Detox December, so I'll see you on the other side, friends

Girl Dinner is possibly the worst book I've read all year

the new T. Kingfisher book, Snake-Eater, is worth the purchase price I accidentally preordered both the ebook and audiobook versions and I'm not sorry at all it's a good story. sometimes people need to learn how to say "no" and when to say "yes"