It's The Muppet Show with our very special guest star Pac-Man!

They say imitation crab is the sincerest form of crab

My buns are hot and cross.

I haven't showered since last year!

I made lil beef wellingtons (which is definitely a British rapper name) and my wife made cream cheesy mashed potatoes and balsamic brussel sprouts holy FUCK I love food, Merry Holiday

Just saw a license plate that said FAHRT, let's fucking go

Jack Frost nosing at your nip

Burriton't

AI has actively made life worse for literally everyone - tech is now more expensive - you cannot trust most media of reality anymore - programs barely function - energy prices - literal psychosis - your voice can be literally stolen for evil - more spyware but hey, you can avoid paying an artist.

*record scratch* so you’re probably wondering how I ended up here

I am chopped… I am unc… but I am free

me peanits for absolutely no apparent reason while driving:

*as homies

they call me Jimmy Two-Nipples, on account of my two nipples

genuine question why are construction managers like this

I will make whistling illegal

Luigi needs to keep his brother in line smh

with marzipans frosting we gonna win de competition !!

*drowning pool voice* pour the oil down the sink POUR THE OIL DOWN THE SINK 𝗣𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗢𝗜𝗟 𝗗𝗢𝗪𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗜𝗡𝗞 𝙋𝙊𝙐𝙍 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙊𝙄𝙇 𝘿𝙊𝙒𝙉 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙎𝙄𝙉𝙆

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

surely that baby has SOME money by now

I gotta say as a white person...we're really not beating the accusations against us

the working man’s burrito

The frontline PvP diehards on my timeline

lost about 12 pounds after working out off and on for a month-ish. I think it's showing?

if you’re looking for a job in copywriting/marketing and live in Omaha, KC, Des Moines or Dallas, shoot me a message!

Today's mood: MJF saying "suck my dick" in an impeccable Randy Savage impression

I wish magic from DnD was real, what do you mean I can't sing a song and conjure a literal cloud of daggers irl

Cap'n Crunch is sandpaper for your mouth. Delicious sandpaper.

arrest war criminal Benjamin Netanyahu

STARTING OFF TODAY'S STREAM WITH A SPECIAL EVENT! A bunch of friends and I have worked together with Creo cards to make OFFICAL SCIENCE SQUAD COLLECTORS CARDS! All proceeds go to Ovarian Cancer Research Alliance (OCRA) AND Trans Lifeline! www.twitch.tv/veggiebltail

Eeeeeee!

hail to the skanking, baby

I need the world to know that Earl just uttered the word "Traptelback" boo this man

Skamagotchi

all grown up is just Rugrats Shippuden.

🙂‍↕️

#Ska & Cyclists all together in one big night‼️ @plasticpresidents.bsky.social

making breakfast naked ama

Chicago we are going to be in you

heheheheheheh

That is a man that is pleased with his burrito.

hi Detroit :) see u soon xoxoxo

why is my hair shaped like this

Goochland Restaurant Goochland, VA

nothing but quality over at P$P$HQ