* You want to hold someone at sword point but they could just kick you.

* MMm Jelly Cup

* Get His Ass

* You think you hatched around the time Legend of Tenna was actually introducing player sprites.

* [[papa]]

* EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER

* Stabbing fetuses #abortion

ooc: I have a bad post to make considering there being titan spawn

I'm not the stepmom I'm just the mom that stepped up

* You accepted stepmom Battat ages ago.

[ 𖤓 @hero-sword.from.software ] INTRO: "...man, did you get caught behind booster's closet? i- okay, okay, fine, sure." VICTORY: "game over." (a pause, then,) "fuck, that's stupid. get back up! i need a better punchline!"

* Fucked up and evil light-dark world.

* Mike Points. * Small Mike is in the lead by 1. * You don't know what Mike Points are. * Just that Small Mike is in the lead by 1.

* You're in a predicament.

* THE SUN IS IN YOUR NONEXISTANT EYES

* ...You like how the trees look in the light world more than they did in that weird game. * Wait there better not be a bitch in the bunker.

[ So shocked and flabbergasted by the current events brought on by The Knight she immediately breaks character and yells at the top of her lungs ] 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊

* Following the first darkner you can into the light world just to run around hometown.

* Scary. * Mixed Up Mikes.

[ Wondering if HERO_SWORD technically counts as her kid too, considering she worked on the game itself. Decides to quickly drop this train of thought ]

This studio is a fucking 🩸NIGHTMARE💀

* Almost everyone in this [STUDIO] is a bad influence. * Wait what the fuck was that you've never done that before.

* Somehow you've only just now noticed evil small mike.

* Baby Pluey Boy Is So Small Fig In Two Hands New Baby Pluey Boy Toy Tiny For Baby Small Aww Mike Fun Pal Happy Happy Pluey Baby for 2 Or 3 Every Pluey All Aww Cuteness Adorable New Toy Pluey Pet Shadowguy Cute Kitty Baby Pluey Aww

* Spamton is super gay actually. * All of them are, you think.

ooc: this is what I get for doing a reply at 1 am on an account with a nonstandard format /silly

* !cursedoak

⠀

* Holy Shit.

* Small Mike is full of whimsy!

* Were it not for Pugle's inability to respawn, you would have killed her at least 4 times by now.

ooc: KIKU NUKE

* Woah now you aren't very fond of Pugle either. * Killing Pugle is too far though. * Pugle can't respawn.

@souloflight.bsky.social * Are you in the dark world that makes you old.

* You've never even met him.

* Once again, that thing is not your brother.

* Yippins was always your favorite non-mike pippins.

* ...You should stop putting off seeing Dollie. * Mom and Spamton are gone anyways.

* Cat mike is the only cat with pink and yellow eyes that you tolerate.

MIKU AND HERO_SWORD POWER HOUR!!!!!!!!

* You wonder where your mom is.

Why Pipis isn't an aesthetic. A thread.

@hero-sword.from.software ( SwordTea ) ( It’s carbonated… and tastes like clams. ) ( +100 HP )

@hero-sword.from.software [ Battat takes a sip of the HERO_SWORDTea ... ... It tastes like the indescribable feeling of not being ready for motherhood? ] [ + ??? HP ? ]

It pulls the strings and makes them ring.

* You don't think you're anybody's favorite. * That's alright. (Lie)

* ...You wonder if this is just an attempt to not be eaten or if he knows this from experience.