Hats off to the elderly man sitting in his Honda in the grocery store parking lot absolutely blasting Elvis, hatchback open to reveal a trunk packed to the gills with magazines featuring Elvis, a collection that must have taken years. Is he selling them? Not apparently. Showing off? Maybe.

My weirdo artsy a capella album Canon Seraglio is now out on every streamer except Spotify. Happy listening. Cheers! #newmusic #experimentalmusic #avantgardemusic

The absolute restraint of the MRI tech who didn't "accidentally" leave a couple dozen pipe wrenches sitting in the room...

everyone in this administration was the kind of kid who pulled wings off flies

The next piece of music I record will be a concept album where every track is based on a Citizen app headline.

I've been making some decent bread doing dubbing for Netflix recently. I really like the work. The cast makes the original project come to life. It's fun and profitable. Please continue demanding that level of quality over whatever the hell this is.

The magnitude of the change over time is striking. www.nbcnews.com/health/healt...

It's horny giraffe day at the LA Zoo in case any of you need to have that conversation with your kid.

I, for one, am looking forward to fixing up some fried corn husk with tamarind nog for my family this holiday.

Every victimization story from Republicans over the past several years reads like this. Also, tell me you've never worked with your hands IN YOUR LIFE by googling "zip ties near me". www.bbc.com/news/article...

The US Ambassador to the United Nations and Nicki Minaj.

Epstein survivors release powerful PSA. Make this go viral so every member of the House of Representatives sees it.

"The Imperial need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear. Remember that."

I swear, if his hatred of Hillary was just blind jealousy, we're going to need an entirely new genre of Tubi movies.

Turns out that putting a professional yapper in charge of the most secretive organization in the world is bad casting.

Hi, friends. I cooked up new artsy music for you. No genre, no words, all vocals. It came out sounding like music for a cult I haven't founded (yet). Enjoy. rythojo.bandcamp.com/album/canon-... #newmusic #experimentalmusic #acapella

Re: Epstein emails, I am again amazed at how anyone becomes wealthy and powerful, even by criminal means, without being able to master capitalization or figure out where a comma goes.

My income just went up by getting an alert from the South Pasadena Emergency Alert system.

Oh, look. Mike Johnson is suddenly tired of being on vacation.

Friends and lovers, I'm gearing up to release some new artsy music. All vocals. No words. Enjoy a first look/listen. #experimentalmusic #newmusic #newart youtu.be/iq_DQjx71Ok?...

He looked at an exec collapsing in front of him like it happens all the time.

Yo, it's my birthday! 🥳 It'd mean the world if you checked out my clean energy newsletter, Green Juice. I work really hard on it. Clean energy—how it works, why it matters, and who's trying to stop it—is more important than ever. Here's a good one: www.greenjuice.wtf/electric-uti... #EnergySky

Don't bother looking up. Not what I thought AT ALL.

Thanks for voting like Bluesky users, everybody!

It's Tuesday and I'm appreciating the AP's ability to write a no bullshit obituary.

O'DONNELL: Why did you pardon Changpeng Zhao? TRUMP: Are you ready? I don't know who he is O'DONNELL: His crypto exchange Binance helped facilitate a $2b purchase of World Liberty Financial's stablecoin. And they you pardoned him. TRUMP: Here's the thing -- I know nothing about it

For those complaining that the poors should never eat a cookie.

Hats off to the Korean chef who got high and watched 9 hours of Nickelodeon to prep this menu.

From the future book "The American Century of Humiliation," the page dedicated to October 29th 2025

Under Trump, the draconian future of homelessness policy is coming into focus: mass internment. Utah is building a 16-acre site to detain up to 1,300 homeless people inside locked "accountability centers." This is profoundly alarming. Vital reporting from @ellenbarry.bsky.social and Jason DeParle:

Cool.

specific maguffin aside ("TEH AUTOPEN") what they are doing here is laying the groundwork for undoing a previous president's orders due to mental incapacitation and we'll see how that bold strategy eventually works out for them I guess

I'm building a swimming pool at my house, headquarters for the nonprofit Johnson Jacuzzi Impact Fund where we do meaningful work for needy bikini models. It will cost $300M and take 25 years to build. If any corporations are interested in claiming a loss this year...

Among the range of right-wing slop news sites who joined the Pentagon press corps this week is Infowars, the conspiracy website run by Alex Jones. Breanna Morello, who said she left "Fox Corp over the Covid mandate," will be representing the group.

Carny working the Super Slide wearing a Brazzers cap, you're the mascot of your profession.

Time Traveler from 2025: What is this? 2005? In 20 years, your political leanings will be signified by which frog you identify with! 2025 guy: Whu...? Time Traveler: No time to explain! I have to get tarps to shield protesters from President Trump's poop jet!

can i get an lol

Facebook thought today would be a really good day to only show me friends' posts from two weeks ago. #nokings

I got antifa all over me! #nokings

I got antifa all over me! #nokings

DAILY MEMO: ICE Rips Mom From Her Infant, Takes U.S. Citizens and Parents After School Drop-off, and Assaults Worker with a Taser 🧵 2 parts If you appreciate reporting like this, please consider becoming a member or helping our fundraiser so we can continue to bring you this vital information.

You're either mourning D'Angelo or Ace Frehley. If it's both, I consider you a unicorn.

We were actually getting somewhere, too. 😞 @sbmitche.bsky.social www.library.hbs.edu/working-know...

I feel like we're straying from Doug Engelbart's vision.

Welp, this explains the Joe Rogan podcast. www.consumerreports.org/lead/protein...

If the government really cared about falling birth rates, it would have funded research to keep D'Angelo alive.

a russ vought special

MAGA is about to lose their minds over the Nobel Peace Prize. So I encourage you to glance at X to see the non-existent opinions regarding the other Nobels, the Macarthur Fellows, or the Kirkus Book Awards.

Waiter, take this pizza back. It tastes like cheese and tomato sauce!

this is incredible