Gee, I wonder who might have been "egging them on"?

How many days is this stupid empty state fair going on for?

Happy 100th birthday Mel Brooks! Proving the saying that if you do what you love you'll work til you're 100.

This is real "There were 8 people at our 'sold' out comedy show" energy.

Stephen Miller: If I can't see my reflection in that pool, no one can! (Overly long evil laugh...)

A performance from a more civilized age. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pmvd...

Well done, Knickerbockers.

#squadgoals. Make this happen, Universe.

😱😱😱 And just like that, it’s completely VANISHED from the media. A sitting congressman, Ted Lieu, said on the record the Epstein files are being blocked because they show Trump raped and threatened to kill children. Lets make this viral again 👇

Kristen Welker is my hero this morning. www.mediaite.com/media/news/i... This is what every journalist should be doing.

Me after the gig when audience members say "Come do karaoke with us!"

Is someone going to mic up Hegseth at the UFC match so we can her him go "I could do that. I could do that."?

Conservatives are yelling at the wrong people for "stealing the rainbow". #pridemonth

Don't make me be the comedian that has to remind you to vote. You're a grownup. Just do it.

Because science actually fixes things when done by good people.

Bro bro bro your boat gently off a cliff, please.

I just used the money I got from a class action lawsuit against my health insurance company to make the payment to my life insurance company. Feeling pretty American right now.

Just went to a WWI exhibit at Moffett Field. Human beings have an amazing capacity for being assholes at scale.

I don't like watching dudes jerk each other off which is why I don't watch Republican media.

History is mostly repeated cycles of people not listening to historians.

Stephen Miller is indeed ugly. But calling him a fuck is an insult to fucks.

I've seen section 8 houses that look better than the White House right now.

"We're playing what? I don't know, man...fine. A gig's a gig." Morris hangs up. A knock at the door. Jerome stands in the doorway holding a mirror so Morris can see himself...really see himself. Morris dials the booking agent, combing his hair with his free hand. "Yo... change of plans..."

"They gonna do wrasslin' at the White House!" - All of MAGA

USA is not giving Iran money for nothing. Nor chicks for free.

Elon's rocket was just as successful as today's bullets.

To be fair, there's no way in hell I'd go to Don Jr's wedding either.

If you ever doubt the possibility of organized resistance in the US just observe a freeway full of people going 70 in a 55.

Protect Ben Palmer. He could have slapped "PARODY" in 50 pt font at the top of the site and they still would have called in because "parody" is a 3-syllable word and they don't read well.

Thom Hartmann: “The Fourteenth Amendment, written in the blood of the Civil War, says in Section 4 that this is blatantly illegal: “[N]either the United States nor any State shall assume or pay any debt or obligation incurred in aid of insurrection or rebellion against the United States.”…

Religion is and always has been a tool of control. "Community" is how they lull you into submission.

Historian of abolition here, history tells us how we got here, to put it succinctly “John Brown was hanged for treason and Robert E. Lee was not.”

If we actually want to appreciate moms, we should be providing free childcare, healthcare, and guaranteed income for stay-at-home parents to put more money in families’ pockets and ensure no SAHP is reliant on a partner for their economic security. Idk I think that’s better than 15% off a vacuum.

I'm at an old guy rock show tonight. LA Guns at The Ritz. Down the street there's an all-ages punk show happening that's also cool. All the kids with their piercings and dyed hair. I want to tell them "Come... Come down the street with me and let me show you what you'll look like in 30 years."

Yep

I honestly didn't (consciously) know much about Ted Turner. It's been cool to be reminded of all the good stuff he did. But his best achievement? He was a billionaire that we didn't have to hear and think about every day.

So these billionaires are going to milk us all for everything and then when "the event" happens they're going to retreat to their bunkers for... What exactly? Just live out the rest of their days in a bunker in a world with no people and where money doesn't mean anything anymore?

This "not war" is what happens when a dropped SNL sketch goes rogue and becomes reality.

Fuck... and I can't emphasize this enough... that ballroom.

I'm picking up a to-go order and yelled "DON'T YOU WANT TO SEE MY ID? YOU NEED TO SEE MY ID!"

I mean, I don't even think they'd ask for ID at the secret restaurants these guys go to to eat children.

And they thought they had nothing in common with the Vatican.

Now with more Fron-tears.

If the Big Mac gets him they'll be wearing little hamburgers around their necks forever.

I keep singing "They paved Hitler's grave and put up a parking lot" to the tune of Big Yellow Taxi.

"I guess you're not ready for my sacrifice yet. But your kids are gonna love it." — Martyr McFly

Oh, look. It's the Dry Bar of book publishers.

This is really the pot calling the kettle Donald.