Come work with me! Salary range $85,000-$100,000. Benefits include a union, fairly low insurance premiums and so many cat photos. job-boards.greenhouse.io/propublica/j...

Every afternoon my giant cat comes into my office and screams at me until I slap his haunches like he opened the beaches and let the little Kintner boy die.

Sometimes this is what goes into changing one word.

GUYS GUYS MY BROTHER MADE ME THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL BUSTS

This sounds like excerpts from a tedious conversation you were forced to endure when seated next to a talker on a long flight.

“What do you want for dinner?” “Mashed potatoes.”

Before and after I told him that no one was going to roast a turkey today.

All I’m doing today is watching Muppet movies.

remember: columbo isn't a cop. he's a fae with a strong sense of justice, who shows up to crimes and glamours people into thinking he's a cop. that's why he doesn't carry a gun: the cold iron

Had a real-life “dead dove, do not eat” moment when I thought, “Huh, I wonder what happens when you throw a blue shell while you’re in first place.”

The sweetest words a host can hear 5 seconds after everyone is out of their house: “I planned ahead and got Thanksgiving Lagavulin.”

We looked away for 5 seconds and my 16-pound cat made off with a chunk of turkey the size of his enormous head. It turns out crime does pay, because that’s absolutely his turkey now.

Mulligan has been drinking out of the people water all afternoon and we just found out

Me using the Cuisinart: hell yeah yes!!! Me washing the Cuisinart: well this sucks wtf

Whatever the truth of it is, Lizza is also proving he’s not a journalist either

My new Merriam-Webster’s has been waiting for me at @portersqbooks.bsky.social, but I haven’t been able to pick it up with all the Thanksgiving prep, so I *will* force every attendee to appreciate my sacrifice.

OK, pie’s in the oven, bread is rising, let me just check in on Bloosky … Maybe I’ll go vacuum something.

SCULLY: It's impossible. There's no one on earth who could teach you to fit that many marshmallows in your mouth. MULDER: Daff righ...... No one...... on urff...

I have been “helping” with Thanksgiving prep all evening by sitting in the kitchen and reading aloud from this blessèd thread.

Lizza’s who-knows-how-many-parts blog series reminds me uncomfortably of the guy who kicked off Gamergate by posting a giant screed enumerating every wrong he thought she committed in their relationship. Trying to ruin your ex’s life by torching her to an audience primed to believe everything.

Editor-in-chief used AI editing tools to insert hallucinations into stories without fact-checking or disclosure, reports @niemanlab.org. #WCGW #AmReading #GenAI #AI #Journalism

These things are great. I keep mine in my purse and I can check air quality any time in an app on my phone. It’s also changed some of my habits at home — I’m more likely to crack a window for a little while even when it’s cold out now that I can see how much CO2 is building up.

Behold the grumpkin

I will no doubt read and enjoy all your very good Nuzzi jokes, but I also want to say earnestly, so many of us (myself included) are on the verge of being pushed out of this industry and it's genuinely so dispiriting to see the worst among us, ethics-wise, get such preferential treatment.

I bought the biscuit makers’ union poster, but I had that Etsy page open in my tabs for like 6 months while I tried to make a list of things to order that was less than 30 items long.

a “Space Force”, if you will

Cross stitch “assistant”

Caught up on “Slow Horses” and made what I believe is a complete list of River Cartwright’s skills: 1. Running

me explaining daylight saving time to the cat

Bonus game 7 baybeeee

Nothing sweeter than the childless aunt’s post-nibling-time beer.

Took my niece to the Museum of Science, the attraction that asks, “Who’s the REAL 8-year-old here?”

It should be illegal to make a playlist without warning people that The Smiths are on it

Poor guy can’t find the B button

@kenlowery.bsky.social Oh hey it’s ya boy (I hadn’t seen this one before!)

The presence of Patrick McGoohan makes “Scanners” part of the extended Columbo-verse, I don’t make the rules

i'm so tired i could sleep a horse

Every time I see people screaming that a writer is some kind traitor to a cause or a class or whatever for not writing about a specific thing, my eye starts twitching.

Bluesky is so dramatic when you hide a post. “This can’t be undone!” It’s OK, man, I’m pretty confident I can survive without ever again seeing this weird AI “photo,” porny cartoon or troll bait.

Monster!

I googled how many lemons to buy for a recipe that calls for 4 tablespoons of zest, and one of the first things I found was a comment where someone insisted that no recipe could possibly call for 4 tablespoons of lemon zest, the writer must have meant teaspoons. Some of us are just lemon sickos, OK?

Why are the last two minutes of “28 Years Later” from a totally different movie?

Watching “The Lowdown” in October leads directly and inexorably to watching “The Thing.”

When I was growing up, “Columbo” was one of those on-in-syndication things that my parents liked and seemed corny to me. I really watched it for the first time like 15 years ago and was surprised to find it genuinely was delightful.

“I forgot how tall Angela Lansbury was.” “In an earlier scene she was towering over a guy, and I was like, ‘Good for you, Angela. It’s your show, don’t let that man have an apple box.’”

I hate when they ask me that. Please, whirl that espresso machine and stop playing with me.

I totally see why people praise “Night of the Hunter,” but with the way it swings between extreme staginess and truly cinematic moments, I also get why critics were not into it at the time. It’s really weird! I liked it but I also never stopped thinking about how weird it is!

“Dr. Sleep?” “No, it’s great but it’s 2.5 hours and I’m too sleepy to start it now.” “The Fog?” “Oo, yeah. I haven’t checked but I’m basically positive it’s 90 minutes because you know what John Carpenter doesn’t do?” *nodding* “Fuck around.”

Time to dust off the Halloween art. I painted this 30 years ago(!).