Single men can study for a degree in contacting the dead then graduate as bachelors of séance #LunchPun

The latest It Just So Happened episode (no.77) is now live! This show was recorded at The Hill St Theatre in @edfringe.bsky.social on 5th August 2025. Joining host @richardpulsford.bsky.social were: @impropoet.bsky.social @mbalazo.bsky.social @autumnunwin.bsky.social LINK: bit.ly/4qIGWWD

The next IJSH episode (no.77) will be published tomorrow, Thursday 8th January! This show was recorded at The Hill St Theatre in @edfringe.bsky.social on 5th August 2025 On the panel with host @richardpulsford.bsky.social were @impropoet.bsky.social @mbalazo.bsky.social @autumnunwin.bsky.social

I'm trying to lose weight, so I'll only eat bread with a sales tax on it. I'm on a loaf VAT diet. #LunchPun

Am I an active supporter of the rights of very young children? Tot ally. #LunchPun

The dentist asked me to sign a liability waiver before placing amalgam in my molar. I agreed, if she swore to fill the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth. #LunchPun

Mark Knopfler has written the music for an ad for diet chocolates: Lo-cal Heroes. #LunchPun

Making a documentary about 1990s movies. Managed to get the star of Fatal Attraction, but not the guy from Under Siege. Close, but no Seagal. #LunchPun

- We should publicise that the animal in the CBBC nativity play was none other than Piers Morgan - Ass seen on TV? - That's one way of putting it #LunchPun

Santa has trained one of his reindeer to curtsy when delivering assorted small items i.e. Blitzen bobs #LunchPun

The next IJSH episode (no.76) will be published on Christmas Day! It's another show from @edfringe.bsky.social 2025, this one recorded at The Hill St Theatre on 4th August On the panel with host @richardpulsford.bsky.social were @50shadesofbouncer.bsky.social Nick Everritt and Gabrielle MacPherson

Manger n. To eat like a French horse at Christmas #LunchPun #UxbridgeDictionary #UxbridgeEnglishDictionary

I think, my pupil Iris prefers Len's cornea jokes over my aqueous humour #LunchPun

Rumour has it, following a bitter row, M.C. Hammer and Pete Tong have been going at it for years. #LunchPun

When William the Conqueror put an order in for a large tapestry he told the embroiderers: "Make it, sew!" #LunchPun

My child refuses everything, as is his won't #LunchPun

I keep messaging Erling Haaland asking for an interview but I'm only using dots and dashes as I think he'll respond to some Norse goad #LunchPun

Last time I visited London I tripped coming out of the railway station. I fell victim to one of Paddington's hard stairs. #LunchPun #Jokes

[Captain] "We've run out of salt for the ship's Masterchef competition! Sail directly to port!" [Helmsman] "Without veer or flavour?" [Captain] "Yes, I will judge the competition entirely fairly" #LunchPun

I got fed up with my Christmas Tree so I pushed it over, and now I've been charged with Grievous Baubley Harm 😔 #LunchPun

- Our neighbours said they'd seen a rare bird in my garden so I constructed a viewing area as fast as I could - Quick hide?! - Why, what's happening? #LunchPun

The fishmongers just got raided in a smash and crab #LunchPun

IJSH episode no. 75 is now LIVE! This episode was recorded at @edfringe.bsky.social on 3rd August The panellists with host @richardpulsford.bsky.social were @lesliegold.bsky.social @pepitaprods.bsky.social & Denzil De Cristo Link: bit.ly/3MwX135 NB Apologies for the poor recorded sound quality

[taking a call] - Can I call you back? I'm moving to Paris. And I'm in the gents. - Do you think you'll be long? - No, I don't think I'll ever be fully accepted by the natives #LunchPun

The next IJSH episode (no. 75) will be published tomorrow, 11th December, another show from @edfringe.bsky.social 2025. It was recorded at The Hill St Theatre on 3rd August. On the panel were @lesliegold.bsky.social @pepitaprods.bsky.social Denzil De Cristo, with host @richardpulsford.bsky.social

Even very young children can join the army, but only as foot soldiers, in the infant-ry #LunchPun

What a headache I had, as my jellies wouldn't solidify, but it was fine after I plugged them into the mains and had the power set 'em all #LunchPun

If you're stumped for Christmas presents, this book would make the ideal stocking filler! With over 600 jokes, it's available on Amazon for £7.99 Review: "Absolutely packed with great puns and one liners, highly recommended for all pun-lovers out there!" Link: amzn.to/3HY866n

I can tell you exactly what shellfish I've ever eaten without having to think about it, thanks to my mussel memory #LunchPun

Don't judge me for being an arms manufacturer. Why not pick on the guy who produces the shop mannekins' legs instead? #LunchPun

- The organisers can't decide if I qualify for the dancing competition or not - You're in limbo? - No, tap #LunchPun

Told my wife about the shoe sale and she ran for the heels. #LunchPun

- Me and my comedian friend are as popular as The Two Ronnies - Barker and Corbett? - No, Biggs and Kray #LunchPun

Are Wall's a big supporter of Banksy's? #LunchPun

Farmer: "Why didn't you join our protest, dumping manure outside Downing Street?" Me: "I couldn't give a shit" #LunchPun

Nothing scarier than a sedan ride. It's a chair raising experience. #LunchPun

During the war, my Nan broke up with her Spitfire pilot boyfriend as he kept telling her to put her chocs away. #Lunchpun

I'm getting used to the idea of my girlfriend leaving me - she said, because of my mobility issues and the lack of sex - although it's true, I thought I'd maybe never be able to get over her #LunchPun

My shows in @leicscomedyfest.bsky.social 2026: 1. Herr Strack and Hair Pulsford (double-header) 2. Yorkshire Dad, Immigrant Mum (solo) 3. It Just So Happened (history, panel show, podcast) 4. Ye Gods! (improv) 5. The Short Joke Teller Returns (one-liners) Deets/tickets via Linktree: t.co/bleOfIgoiI

IJSH episode no. 74 is now LIVE! This episode was recorded at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe on 2nd August The panellists were @janewalker28.bsky.social Andy Bullick and Scott Redmond, the host was @richardpulsford.bsky.social Link: bit.ly/3KlVgox NB Apologies for the poor recorded sound quality

As for what I may have said to the rakish, sordid artists who asked me for help in depicting their snouts, "You can draw your own conk, louche 'uns" #LunchPun

Our phrenology lessons were given by the head teacher. #LunchPun

László József Bíró invented a ballpoint pen, but to stand a chance of becoming commercially successful he also needed a catchy pen name #LunchPun

'U Can't Crack This' was an unsuccessful 1990 single by MC Hammer's posher brother, Toff E Hammer. #LunchPun #Jokes

My mate, who maintains aircraft, was panicking the other day when his arm became trapped in the wing mechanism. Honestly, he was in a right flap. #LunchPun

Fun fact: W.C. Fields invented the portaloo #LunchPun

Why is it 'toilet roll' and not 'convenience food'? #LunchPun

- Where shall we go to when we're in London? And will I need to wear a jumper? - What about Woolwich? - It's synthetic, so my skin won't get irritated by it #LunchPun

Whether Sami mythology survives or not is in the Lapp of their gods #LunchPun

[Guide showing tourists round a lookout] - Look over here if you want to get the best photos - Nicer view? - It's all just part of my job! #LunchPun