@daniellebkoenig.bsky.social
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Writer/co-host of How to Survive with Danielle & Kristine
Totally wild that Jesse Eisenberg said no to the Zuckerberg sequel but signed up for a third Now You See Me film.
1 day ago
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How soon before she turns that puppy out?
www.usatoday.com/story/news/p...
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Custom meals, puppy time among Ghislaine Maxwell's alleged prison benefits, Raskin says
Rep. Jamie Raskin said Ghislaine Maxwell is getting special treatment in prison, including time with a puppy.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2025/11/10/ghislaine-maxwell-epstein-trump-commute-sentence/87193343007/
5 days ago
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And another one! Please check out my (really short) humor piece!
www.chortle.blog/p/08678807-2...
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Chortle
Short humor for anyone who chuckles, guffaws, snickers, hoots, or otherwise expresses mirth. New posts every weekday! Click to read Chortle, a Substack publication with thousands of subscribers.
https://www.chortle.blog/p/08678807-2ebe-4a75-ac7d-298bacc4f29d
10 days ago
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Just came back from the dentist. We're going to keep an eye on number 14.
12 days ago
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Hey there! I have a HUMOR piece up on Belladonna. Please check it out!
add a skeleton here at some point
13 days ago
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reposted by
13 days ago
Today we’re learning How to Survive space missions and Madonna auditions with
@dennishensley.bsky.social
!
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/h...
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How To Survive a Space Mission & a Madonna Audition (w/Dennis Hensley)
Podcast Episode · How To Survive with Danielle & Kristine · 11/04/2025 · 1h 21m
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-survive-with-danielle-kristine/id1586894471?i=1000735177636
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reposted by
Greg Nix
14 days ago
Please be aware that the 2025 Hyundai Ioniq 5 could kill you. New post from
@daniellebkoenig.bsky.social
!
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Hyundai Safety Warning for Anyone Over 40
Shiny dashboard reveals terrible truth about your neck.
https://www.chortle.blog/p/hyundai-safety-warning-for-anyone
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My latest humor piece is up on Chortle! Please check it out.
www.chortle.blog/p/hyundai-sa...
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Hyundai Safety Warning for Anyone Over 40
Shiny dashboard reveals terrible truth about your neck.
https://www.chortle.blog/p/hyundai-safety-warning-for-anyone
14 days ago
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@lyndacarter.bsky.social
just a regular day in kindergarten in my Wonder Woman bathing suit.
16 days ago
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He threw a Great Gatsby party. Is he smart enough to know what he's doing?
16 days ago
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Come and knock on my grave…
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Alan Hamel Creates AI Clone of Late Wife Suzanne Somers 2 Years After Her Death: 'You Can't Tell the Difference' (Exclusive)
Alan Hamel and Suzanne Somers enjoyed 55 years together before the actress' death at 76 in 2023. Hamel, 89, tells PEOPLE working hard on several projects that will keep Somers' legacy alive, including...
https://people.com/alan-hamel-suzanne-somers-ai-project-exclusive-11832986
26 days ago
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reposted by
27 days ago
Today we’re learning How to Survive Rumors & Tumors within Kevin Avery!
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Trying my best to wish Karoline Leavitt into the cornfield.
28 days ago
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reposted by
about 1 month ago
Today we’re learning How to Survive burning mouths and hot dogs with
@dancronin24.bsky.social
!
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According to this article, she's still wearing hats!
about 1 month ago
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My ballet teacher used to smoke during class and I'd still take that timeline over this one.
about 1 month ago
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reposted by
about 1 month ago
Today we’re learning How to Survive salmonella with Mike Henry!
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@cristela.bsky.social
, just heard you on
@nicollewallace.bsky.social
! You were so eloquent, and of course funny!
about 2 months ago
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It’s October, you know what means: the $14 residual checks from my stint as “whispering girl” in The Craft are going to start rolling in!
about 2 months ago
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You guys didn't protect Jane Goodall at all costs and it shows!
about 2 months ago
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reposted by
Jimmy Pardo
about 2 months ago
The country is crumbling... but you can escape it for a while by watching my nonsense in the cities below! Last road dates until 2026! Oliver G Pardo opens in Burbank! Tix links at
jimmypardo.com
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reposted by
about 2 months ago
Today we’re learning How to Survive being left at the altar and getting married in another country with Marta Mendez Cross!
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Laughed out loud. I hope they do more of these.
add a skeleton here at some point
about 2 months ago
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reposted by
The Onion
about 2 months ago
61 Years Ago Today:
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We have the best listeners!
add a skeleton here at some point
about 2 months ago
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reposted by
Never Not Funny
about 2 months ago
Hey there! It's time for a new
#NNF
! This week
@howtosurvive.bsky.social
’s own
@daniellebkoenig.bsky.social
joins us! Listen everywhere! Get a 2nd exclusive episode, video, livestreams (Monday!), game nights, bonuses, terrific perks, and more with
#NNFPlatinum
!
NeverNotFunny.com
!
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Just finished reading Trump’s how-to manual.
about 2 months ago
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reposted by
Jimmy Pardo
about 2 months ago
I WTF it up on
@marcmaron.bsky.social
show tomorrow!!
add a skeleton here at some point
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reposted by
about 2 months ago
Today we’re learning How to Survive a strip search with Kathy Egan-Taylor!
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Totally Plausible “Secrets” Shared by Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein
open.substack.com/pub/chortleb...
My latest humor piece on Chortle! Please to enjoy.
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Totally Plausible “Secrets” Shared by Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein
Analyzing the president's innocent birthday card.
https://open.substack.com/pub/chortleblog/p/trump-epstein-birthday-letter-wonderful-secrets?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
about 2 months ago
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This just in: Advil causes you to get your brother hooked on heroin and to repeatedly cheat on your wife!
about 2 months ago
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We don’t have Disney so I can’t cancel it, but I will kick the Hollywood Blvd. Mickey Mouse in the nuts next time I see him.
about 2 months ago
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Sure you guys with grandparents from Ireland or Japan or Portugal might be keen on getting dual citizenship but frankly, I don’t see myself living in Lithuania.
2 months ago
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So the Fox News model.
2 months ago
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reposted by
2 months ago
Today we’re learning How to Survive performance anxiety and performing on a cruise ship with @chriswitaske!
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Pour some out for Robert Redford today.
2 months ago
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I have a new humor piece up on Chortle. Please check it out!
add a skeleton here at some point
2 months ago
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I have a new HUMOR piece out today. Please check it out!
add a skeleton here at some point
2 months ago
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Is Duo MAGA?
2 months ago
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But October is Touch the Third Rail Month
2 months ago
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Why doesn't Dumbfuck just admit it's his drawing and say their "wonderful secret" was their shared love of Snackwells?
2 months ago
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reposted by
3 months ago
Today we’re putting up our dukes as we learn How to Survive martial law and martial arts with Cristina Fernandez!
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This is some Swee’Pea shit right here
m.youtube.com/shorts/dNK-p...
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Frightening video shows child on monorail track at Hersheypark
YouTube video by ABC7
https://m.youtube.com/shorts/dNK-ptN26NE
3 months ago
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Ate a big meal last night and I'm still feeling "security heavy".
3 months ago
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reposted by
3 months ago
Today it’s bears, bears, bears with
@emilybarthisler.bsky.social
!
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/h...
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Emily Barth-Isler - How To Survive More Bears!
Podcast Episode · How To Survive with Danielle & Kristine · 08/26/2025 · 1h 15m
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-survive-with-danielle-kristine/id1586894471?i=1000723557625
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I have a new humor piece up on Chortle. Please take a look!
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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Ghislane Maxwell is the Eddie Haskell of child sex traffickers.
3 months ago
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I’m now officially an empty-nester What I’m saying is, they better make more episodes of Trainwreck.
3 months ago
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reposted by
3 months ago
This week we’re learning How to Survive the first day of preschool and first jobs with college boy Oliver Pardo!
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/h...
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