I’m living life on Whatever Mode

I went into exile

Nancy 6/23/26

😫😭 life is messy 😱🤯🤩😍 LIFE IS MESSI‼️‼️ 🙌😺

“Do not leave for tomorrow the burger that you could eat today.” - Yankee proverb

A Ceiling Can Be So Beautiful

Bunion moment

I am my own unc. I am my own nephew.

Yo check out my cultural signifiers bro. Don’t they make me look like I’m part of the in-group?

On the Beach by Pablo Picasso, 1937 https://botfrens.com/collections/212/contents/137155

I'm guessing that half of all Hall of Famers debuted before they were 23 years old. If you make it so a player can't even hit the *minors* until they're 20, you're absolutely destroying the level of play in the league. Manfred and the owners hate the game of baseball. It's that simple.

what’s your thread count homie

Weather is just clothes for nature

Watching reruns of weather forecasts

fucking the weatherman for exclusive access to the extended 10-day forecast

During the pandemic I spent loads of money paying my goons to march around the crypt I’d inherited from my great uncle Dale. With the increase in business we saw, eventually they started taking pride in their role as essential lurkers. I still wasn’t gonna line up and clap for them - that’s gauche.

back in the day they might have described me as ‘simple’

I’m on my “headphones on 🎧 world off 😌” shift rn

I know I’m not breaking any new intellectual ground here but it bears repeating: there is nothing in this world quite like the freedom one feels off of two beers

nice to see current and former brighton players getting goal involvements in the world cup already. Enciso with an assist, Ayari with two bangers against Tunisia, Van Hecke and Verbruggen getting a touch on each of Japan's two goals... 😅 #bhafc

been burratamaxxing lately

If you fell for these guys’ shtick even for a second you’re a moron.

would you all tell me if I became gormless

every day is another step towards becoming normal 🚶‍♂️‍➡️

I think if I move back to the United States I will purchase a firearm

I'm having what the experts have begun calling " a Benjamin's Evening"

white people will look you dead in the eye and tell you they're getting really comfortable taking the bus

been cooking this one up for way too long, proud of it!

I am doing a semester abroad at the School of Hard Knocks

brewers v. A's last night was ridiculous. energy on the broadcast seemed to be like "wow guys they're hitting so many dingers isn't this EPIC and what you want from the game???" annoying. 🍻

accordingly is one of the best ways to respond

I stay doing nothing 🧍🏻‍♂️

I think I like the soulless eyes smile emoji more 😀

been cooking this one up for way too long, proud of it!

Understand than when a man shows you something on his phone he is trying to bond. This is a bid for affection

hitting the town

just caught a whiff of BO so powerful it unlocked memories from a past life. i remember you man. 12th century bazaar, you were fucking me over on a pound of grain

I met Dr Pepper. She’s black

this guy knows knowing ball

I don't even think you can say the misogyny is subtextual at this point. It's just the text

I’m a total sucker for food, drink and general merriment

I worry more about the berries I’m growing in pokemon than what my boss asks of me

walking shirtless around my street so my neighbors know the real me

Hope everyone has an unprecedented weekend

in order to grow I gotta put myself in the right conversations… or something

giving my millenial cat oat milk out of a saucer

I have been behaving in Ways

I am the unemployed friend at 10am on a Tuesday rn. Walking through a department store by myself with no intention to buy. Currently sitting on different kinds of chairs. It’s nice.

I will continue acting foolishly and enigmatically until morale improves