This will be a more extreme bathroom ban than, for example, Alabama (whose ban is for state/public facilities only)

last time i saw arsenal win the league, i wasn't legally old enough to be allowed on my own in a pub, so i stood on a ledge outside one and watched it through a window with my face pressed to the glass like charlie bucket

why are the green party not standing aside and pouring all of their money, resource, members, time and energy behind andrew 'andy' burnham, king of manchester? do they think they're some sort of distinct political party or something?

looking at my phone screen and reading "almost a decade ago" and then reading a push notification about how my rent has been sent and then looking up at the mirror and Feeling Good

if i was going to give a college commencement speech i would make sure to start with something the students could rally behind. something like "we will mechanically suck the youth from your bones to feed a mechanical eschaton, which my generation will use to climb heaven and become new gods"

will gladly accept sufferball magnate mikel arteta fumbling every trophy again as an offering to the gods of fate if it helps spurs go down

amazing sport. a billionaire threw everything behind hiring a guy widely regarded as the guardiola of car design, and he's made something so crap that not only are they anticipating it will be too slow to qualify for any given race, but they can't even test it without maybe paralysing their drivers

happy st david's all youtu.be/L_9ZZLBgSMo?...

several generations of american family all huddled around the television set, hugging each other in giddy anticipation at all the new adverts

if i was the west, i'd definitely spend a decade suppressing files related to the world's most notorious paedophile, if their release would cause people to suspect the universally reviled paedo was actually an agent for one of my enemies. you'd want to keep that kind of info secret, for some reason

commenting "ai slop" under all of my friends' instagram posts of themselves surrounded by their loving families

understand keir starmer refuses to resign as prime minister if it means giving up his 15% greene king discount

morgan mcsweeney has died,

the deluge of ai services promising to shortcut creativity and negate ever developing a skill has, conversely, given me impetus to sit down and learn stuff i've always put off. so far comedically dogshit in my efforts to develop a musical ear, but it's really gratifying(??) and i'm enjoying it(???)

it’s genuinely reassuring to me that this is the most miserable and paranoid person in the entire world

Take me down to the Parallax city where the far moves slow and the near moves quickly

trying to imagine an american doing an impression of wallace from wallace and gromit. statistically must have happened at some point

labour potential parliamentary candidates lining up against yougov polls like children before a rollercoaster, hoping to be reviled more than keir starmer enough to be let in

charli xGx

hej jeg er thomas frank velkommen til jackass

they shouldn't have binned off the secret traitor gimmick so early, imho. after that point, it reverted to a game dominated by guileless faithfuls who can't fathom they're being kept in because they trust a traitor and are wrong about everyone else, or harmless non-entities everyone forgets about

not only does this show 0% of reform voters switching to labour, it shows 8% of labour voters to reform. it also shows an 11% churn lost to greens. they're hemorrhaging progressive voters faster than they can replace them with right wingers (which is: not at all)

beginning preliminary work on a web experience that lets you go to the pub in the browser

can't believe pitchfork has moved behind a paywall, rather than remaining wedded to the broken programmatic ad model that brings in virtually no revenue and is almost entirely responsible for the rapid degredation of editorial standards and click chasing practices that absolutely everyone hates?

Gaming doesn’t count as screen time. Gaming is books. Unless it’s on your phone - that is screen time. Movies are books unless they are Marvel, who produce screen time. Television is screen time.

fair play will stancil switching narrative arcs from being the US james ball to becoming the US jolyon maugham

look, it's possible to both not like trump, but also uncritically support the untrammeled advance of US empire, CIA backed regime change and military intervention anywhere that advances the interests of extractive capital and private oil companies. i don't get what's so confusing about this

riffing with a mutual

dear mr trump, my name is rupert and i am 68 years old. the evil keir starmez is trying to take away our access to mr musk's magical paedophile machine, a fundamental assault on british values. please deploy enola gay over london our country yearns for freedom

going on the next series of the traitors with the gimmick that i am secretly welsh

you can equally easily answer this question by asking 'which members of the public is this party supposed to appeal to?' and realising that it's a demographic almost exclusively comprised of journalists

hey guys! you're all going to have to perform rigorous background checks every time you use your phone in order to know whether you're looking at a real picture of a dog from now on

worked out how to add myself as an npc to almost anything so i can now finally kick my own head in

Sounds like a good time at the movies

It gets lost in all of this nonsense every time, but it is worth pointing out that it's not illegal to use any toilet you like. Toilets aren't legally restricted places and never have been, for very obvious reasons. This whole thing is based on an absurd fiction about who can and can't go where.

What Spotify Wrapped can teach us about confronting your customer base with their own gradually diminishing horizons

going all in on bluesky for q2. chapeau to all the whales on here, this diamond hands is coming to town

welcome to bellersball tuesdays. you are now about to witness the strength of 'we can take a lot of positives from that performance, despite the result' knowledge

morbidly fascinated by this dreary world of vice publishing articles which are obviously the result of chatgpt cannibalising their own thinkpieces from ten years ago www.vice.com/en/article/m...

BBC News: "the government believe refugees are deliberately bringing their children to avoid deportation" As opposed to doing what with their children??

i don't need to do anything anymore i just ask my phone to help me delude myself into thinking i am living a meaningful life

spent the last year or so making two tv shows for channel 4, the first is out thursday 16th october and guarantees all viewers a million pounds, simply for tuning in

my new ai device will sit in a beer garden that backs onto a small river and drink three to five pints on a sunny late summer afternoon for you, leaving you free for more meetings and business calls

i think there should be a new Your Party membership portal launch every couple of days, each with a slightly different url and ever more inscrutable terms of service. could raise millions

icymi, for all of those not on x.com: the right wing US commentator charlie kirk has died

a lot of critics of adam curtis are fixated on a refusal to abandon his style in favour of making arguments in/of the form they would like him to. this has value in pointing out the journalistic, historiographical limitations of the style, but i always find them lacking as analyses of filmmaking

really is so drearily predictable seeing a load of the 2010s-youth-culture-writer turned embittered millennial journo cohort get bang into reactionary 'yookay' drivel. every generation needs a million tony parsons i suppose

barry town out of europa, cardiff city relegated, wrexham promoted. a dark day for south wales, but a billboard one for east yankland