Ken Griffey's grotesquely swollen jaw Steve Sax and his run-in with the law We're talkin’ Homer...Ozzie and the Straw

yeah I built an AI that hangs out on your porch and drinks a six pack for you so you can write regexes at work

I dunno if I’m hard of hearing or somebody on this work call just referred to the “predator” (instead of creditor) of a wire transfer. Either way that’s what I’m gonna call it now.

🚨🚨🚨Chicago - NOW!🚨🚨🚨 1/2

If you worked on something today, congratulate yourself: Childcare, answering emails, physical therapy, writing, watering plants. Anything you did, go ‘head & remind yourself you survived another day & that’s a gracious plenty, given what’s happening. Let’s not take our survival for granted.

I'm still mad that Musk turned the world's global, live, news source into a fascist boy's club.

"Sicilian" man? Oh shit, Italians ain't white no more? They bringing back the nineteenth-century racism *already*? That's rough, buddy.

"at what point was the Republican party turning in to this inevitable" is actually an important question to answer for doing political reconstruction and "it was always exactly like this" is a useless answer for it

For some reason it seems weird that lot of people lived from like 1910 into the 1990s. They were kids during World War I and they outlived the Cold War.

My senior year of high school I had the same haircut as Steven Seagal, and “Under Siege” was notably filmed within driving distance. I told the yearbook kids I was an understudy on the film! They didn’t put it in the yearbook but it was in (iirc) the program from the graduation ceremony.

The plot of the next Simpsons movie should be the kids at Springfield Elementary digging up a time capsule that was buried 40 years ago and realizing they're the same children who buried it because their world hasn't aged in 4 decades.

Streets are still closed off in front of the Portland ICE facility at 8:30pm. Protesters have gathered on a side street. Dance party in progress.

Damn it, just successfully wired a wireless printer in less than 15 minutes. Missed out on the Nobel Prize for Physics by 8 hours. Early prediction for next year.

I feel like this photo of masked, armed men pepper spraying a pastor protecting his community is going to be a defining picture of this moment in America for a long, long time.

sports fans, it would make the rest of us really happy if you could thread your OH MY FUCKING GOD jump scare posts so the rest of us could mute the thread or at least understand the context of what you’re referring to

I saw a picture of Stephen Miller today and my brain jumped straight to "Reich Said Fred".

In a day and age when so many people are expecting the rapture and the 2nd coming to happen any minute, do not be out there starting random headlines with "SON OF MAN..."

My evolving views on mob movies

What's happening in Chicago is not normal. The arrest of Alderperson Fuentes is just the latest example of how far Noem and Bovino are willing to go to ignore the rule of law. We must all speak up.

They're not. They're willing to abandon democracy in order to get back to a world where white men get to rule over all the other races and also all women. And that'll still be their goal when this particular charlatan is long gone.

It also betrays a fundamentally white-centric view of things. The proper analog to what is happening now isn’t Watergate, Iran-Contra, or Iraq. It’s Jim Crow, the Redeemers, and the Klan. That *those* aren’t the examples they’re reaching for is deeply, deeply telling.

I must've somehow managed to hear an interview of Tom Waits when I was 10 years old, because the idea of "rain dogs" (stray dogs that got lost when the rain washed away the scents they needed to find their way home) has been on my mind since 1985. And comes back to me on rainy mornings like this.

First time it’s rained in so many weeks I’m not sure the cat remembered what rain was.

Connect with your people offline. Take the chats to signal but also take your close relationships offline entirely. We need to be connected when they shut this all down. What’s your organizing plan if things go dark? Where do you meet? Who picks up what work? How do we communicate?

As the people who insist otherwise try to burn the country, it's important to affirm that immigrants, from everywhere, are awesome, and America is better the more immigrants we have. You have to be just empty and vapid and unimaginably small to reject that.

People who followed me here from other places know this is a thing I mention a lot, but its under-discussed how *horny* 70s-80s MAD magazine was, even for its era. Just drawin' boobs and butts everywhere, usually unnecessary for the joke. You could devote a whole account just to posting this stuff.

Saw some post somewhere earlier about people “not getting” transness or whatever You don’t have to get it. If you believe in bodily autonomy for all, then no one needs you to understand their personal situation to earn being seen as a person by you. You just treat every human being as a person.

Me too but I also remember this is what people said when Elon bought Twitter. “He’s gonna realize it actually has to be run like a business, and not be able to change anything”

The main reason I never became a game dev/designer is because I suck too bad at games to know how to make one that other people would play. The other reason is because I’m more interested in dystopian shit like, “what if every time you die in the game, you die in real life!!” than in actual gaming

"I couldn't keep up with sexy Winona Ryder and her huge tits" is a sentence you wouldn't be able to torture out of me

Correct me if I’m wrong: They didn’t make “teen movies” for people my age (I turned 15 in 1990). We were too young for brat pack movies (we saw them anyway of course, it was the 80s) and stuff like American Pie came way too late for us. All our movie touchstones are from childhood, not teenhood.

This administration is going to result in the kind of map you’d find in the front of a dystopian sci-fi paperback. “Indigenous Nation Tariff-Free Trading Corridor” sounds like something Philip K. Dick would have with come up with in 1972.

I read that quote to the tune of “come as you are” by nirvana

Well. I now qualify as a Pops. Some guy today politely called me, not Sir, not Man, Dude, or Bro.. but “Pops”.

If you have the strength, protest on October 18. If you don't, but have the means, support the protests by bringing food or water to hand out to protesters. If you don't have the strength, and don't have the money, encourage others to go. I am not a terrorist! We need to become #toobigtojail.

No Kings in America.

This is going to be my first Halloween as a black cat owner. So exited for the trick or treaters on my porch to ask “is that real?” just before she meows. (A preview of Christmases looking like Santa that surely loom in my future.)

“Yeah that’s right I wanna feel the sugar on my teeth, like I just bought a gallon of room temperature sweet tea at the grocery store and I’m drinking it straight out of the jug on the way home”

When I started first using twitter (in 2008) your feed was just always only people you followed. And I kept it on “following” long after, even after it was X. One day I installed an update or something and it set “for you” to default without telling me. Good lord I almost had a stroke.

I thought I was too far north for my order to get mixed up resulting in a *sweet tea with no ice* that I did not order. What an Alabamian mishap.

When I first heard the word “Mathematics” thought people were saying “Math and Mattus”. I knew sort of what “math” was but I didn’t know what “mattus”was. I decided it must be stuff like making the calculator divide 1 by 3 see the all the digits fill up the screen.

Several years ago I dreamed that someone made an ad campaign where celebrities from all the big "nerd" franchises really cranked up the sex appeal to get your attention while frankly warning the audience about the dangers of young men getting radicalized into the online right. It's not too late.

Please never criticise parents whose children only eat a few preferred foods. It’s not always about bad habits or lack of discipline sometimes it’s ARFID or another underlying issue.

I feel like the comparison to the Empire is less apt than comparing it to being ruled by Jabba the Hutt

My 7 year old on Simpsons episode “King Size Homer”: “is this how *you* got to work from home?”

Every day l log on here and see a bunch of new (to me) people saying “holy shit this is bad!” and I’m never sure if some *new* bullshit just happened, or if more people just now noticed. It’s always both.

My god. “Watson said she saw agents dragging residents, including kids, out of the building without any clothes on and into U-Haul vans. Kids were separated from their mothers…’It was heartbreaking to watch…seeing kids coming out buck naked and taken from their mothers, it was horrible.’”

WHAT YOU FAIL TO SEE MR POPE