Our plan is for you to not have insurance. Enjoy this coupon.

The mailbox rule is now the "we left it in a bin for a few days and count it then" rule

Fore this is my body, take it and eat of it. Do this in frostingness of me

"Maybe I shouldn't make a joke about the Welsh fucking sheep to that famous journalist?" Just another day on Bluesky.

Rewatching Ali v. Foreman for roughly the 200th time and I can never get over how Ali changed over the course of the fight. Bravado in the face off, worry in the first when he couldn't dance, grit to take Foreman's heavy blows, to ending with grace by letting Foreman fall without a parting shot.

I like Bluesky, but something about cars turns people into lunatics here.

Idiocracy completely missed how we would use technology to hit ourselves in the balls

I tried to post something from the Cam Newton text generator to reddit and I think reddit decided to die rather than post it.

The hero of The Santa Clause is the 8 year old kid who mockingly explains how stupid it is that murder is the key to the spirit of Christmas

Jim Jeffries declares, "Rudolph wouldn't snitch on pedophiles"

It's not a Will Ferrell movie, it's the Jets

Coming this summer

“Continue to fully comply,” they write a week after the deadline.

To be clear, the student by her own admission forgot an assignment to react to a specific reading til the last second, didn't want to delay going out, dashed something off in 20 min without reading the piece to comment on(!), no citations and not answering the assigned question. Teacher fired

“Like prime, but with human beings”

Favorite song that melodramatically describes having a tummy ache?

“I write separately to concur with the judgment but on narrower grounds and to ask you to stop calling me a racist.”

New: Months before Bari Weiss pulled the 60 Minutes segment on CECOT, her outlet The Free Press was joking about the megaprison Trump has lawlessly deported people to. "The hottest campaign spot…the new Jeffrey Epstein jet…the place to see and be seen." @andrewperez.bsky.social @swin24.bsky.social

Releasing a serious story that my unserious friend yanked for unserious stated reasons makes America look silly. I am a serious thinker.

It's kind of strange getting excited for a State Farm ad. Not because of Pat Mahommes, but because Merv the cat's dad is in it.

Quick, say you committed a crime to avoid admitting you lost!

I see he's been talking to Putin about Russia's battlecruiser that Russia is terrified of bringing to its active war zone because it's a billion dollar target the size of a football field.

Who could have ever seen the Supreme Court's decision to create a national security exception to the constitution would have negative consequences?

I baked a loaf of bread in oiled muffin tins that are very large and tender in the middle. If you suggest I made Yorkies, there's something wrong with you. This is normal bread.

If there's no due process for "immigrants" you don't get to prove you're not an immigrant. It's the fugitive slave act, Trump edition

Tim Kaine can sleep soundly now that he didn't do anything and Trump is laughing at him.

The Eagles should consider hiring an Offensive Coordinator whose qualifications are more than friends with the head coach.

I like that the civility filter Bluesky decided we needed also automatically hides anyone who criticizes propublica for using AI. Because civility is about agreement, not tone.

Donald Trump: “I took cognitive tests. By the way, not easy. The first question is like what is this and they show a lion, giraffe, fish and a hippopotamus. And they say which is the giraffe.” This is an actual quote. He’s bragging about being able to differentiate between animals. Bury me now…

So it turns out the overly online groyper receiver did not learn from the experience of being hated by half the internet, as he decided to tweet through it immediately after the game.

Game, pumpkins.

No one throws to a wide open receiver better than Matthew Stafford

Today, you're listening to me. That's a bad start.

That's the Ka$h money guarantee

I tried, but no, I don't see any link between an old money white lady hiring a press agent to relitigate her viral embarrassing moment in the NY Times and the experiences of poor women of color.

again thinking of when The Free Press ran an article alleging that George Floyd was not killed by the cops, and @radleybalko.bsky.social proved beyond any question that the article was bullshit, and instead of retracting it Weiss asked him to come on her podcast

Our new golden age of free speech, where opposition to immigration enforcement can trigger a federal investigation

So DOJ is just doing this without Concordance or any eDiscovery software more advanced than some poor guy's email inbox?

I'll stop bitching about headlines when the NY Times doesn't refer to plying 14 year old girls with alcohol and trying to get them alone at a party to sexually assault them as "the Pursuit of Women"

It's always the ones you most want it to be.

Shot ---> chaser

Dickless here has researched the topic extensively

It's a shell game. Trump is taking money from soldiers' housing subsidies to "give" them $1,776 "warrior dividend" checks.

I've seen Independence Day roughly a hundred times, and I only now noticed that Bill Pullman delivers every single line for laughs.

No blood for oil? No, blood for oil!

I didn't even know you could run prevent in the red zone but the Panthers are doing it.

Real glad that the full DC Circuit declined to call Rao and Walker out on their bullshit games to halt the contempt hearings because it was going to slow things down, which has given Rao and Walker a brand new opportunity to stop the contempt hearing for months.